|What could he have possibly asked for?|
It's summer time, that dangerous season, when the vulnerable vain among us, let the warm weather go to our heads and fool ourselves into thinking, "hey, I kinda feel like I could be cute this year. Yeah, I think that I could do it. And I have JUST the haircut to get me there."
So we book our appointment in that overpriced salon, we sit in that swanky chair with crooked necks that will require another appointment immediately following with the chiropractor, we endure the too hot scorch of the water at the Master Stylist's apprentice's hands, because we know. We know. That at the end of all this, our head swinging loveliness will be gifted to the world.
We will be that MILF.
But what about the times, when after you've sat, breathless and hopeful in anticipation of the beauty that will soon be you, you are twirled around to see your image reflected back?
And you see this?
|Is that you, John Boy?|
What things can cause more distress to a woman, than a bad haircut?
I'll tell you; FEW.
I have been sent home from salons, after asking for something easy to keep up, looking like this:
|Gel, clips, and she's off...|
They were right, it was very easy to keep up. A Costco sized tube of MegaPlusUltraHold silicone gel, two huge Melba Moore hair clips and Voila!
Voila! and off I'd go, listening to my children ask, "Mom? Do you always do what your haircutting lady tells you to? Even if they make you look like you have Mickey Mouse ears?"
I've gone in and asked for something for the mature over 40 woman, so I wouldn't look like some sad soul grasping at youth.
And have gone home with this:
|When your forehead becomes a fivehead|
Baring my forehead to the world, and nary a botox discount coupon in the take home bag.
Once, I had the bright idea to funkify mommy with some highlights, lowlights, sidelights, whatever: give mama somethin' new! After I was done cookin', this was unfurled:
|Don't you wish your mama was hot like me...|
Animal print top included.
Through all this pain and anxiety and intense suffering of dissatisfaction with what I've had in my mind, vs what was put on my head, I have come up with three survival tips to a bad session at the hair salon. Yes, there is so much more than you can do, than merely cry with a bag over your head for the next eight weeks:
How To Survive a Bad Haircut:
1. Begin a course of prenatal vitamins as soon as you return home. Kick start that new growth, and soon that mess on your head will be a blog post.
2. For your next appointment, prepare with real life PICTURES of haircuts you like, COLOR SWATCHES, fragments of magazine pages ripped out of USweekly. Know what you want. You're not asking to look like Angela Bassett, you're just asking for her hair.
|If I have but one life to live, let me live it as Angela hotass Bassett|
Okay, I lied--I am asking you to make me look like Angela Bassett.
3. And, no worries of an unfixable bad haircut ever again, just click the link here:
How To Place Clip in Hair Extensions At Home.
Join me, would you, please? Tell me your good (or is it bad?) haircut stories. I'd LOVE to know I'm not the only one, (I'm sick that way).