The Butterknife Bang. No need to leave home, only requirement is 1.) Thinking it's a good idea to give yourself bangs in the middle of doing dishes.
The Someone Snatched me Bald-headed headband. Available in One Size: only for teens.
The Pink Fleece From 2002 That Still Works. Stainless steel dishwasher--like guacamole--costs extra.
The Mortifying Desperate Buy Stretchy Accommodating Geometric Pattern Dress. Available in-store only if purchased morning of major event when original outfit planned shrunk since last worn at graduation four years earlier.
The Colonial Pantaloon. Available October through April, not a trend as much as Wisconsin wardrobe necessity.
And the predicted final fall fashion favorite--
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