Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Best Internet of the Week

A few internet wins from the week. I know you'll enjoy:

--A short imagined dialogue between an accountant and a manic pixie dream girl while preparing her taxes.

--A very funny tumblr that takes on Family Circus, Time is a Flat Circus.

--And 12 Keys To Stronger Writing, by Annie Dillard.

“You could think that your voice as a writer would just emerge naturally, all on its own, with no help whatsoever, but you’d be wrong. What I saw on the page was that the voice is in fact trapped, nervous, lazy. Even, and in my case, most especially, amnesiac. And that it had to be cut free.”

Have a great week, everyone!
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Monday, April 14, 2014

His Prayer on His Birthday

Before he fell asleep tonight, Auggie asked to say prayers together on his last night of being 11. I scooped his head under my arm, and listened while he whispered:

Thank you for everything that I have and the lessons I learned this year.
Thank you for the mom I have and my dad and brothers.
Thank you that my Auntie Adrian is here to visit me for my birthday.
Thank you that we have fun and that tomorrow is my birthday with my family.
Thank you for all the things I have.

I kissed his forehead and told him that that was one of the best prayers I have ever heard. I stayed with him until I heard the soft shift in his breathing, *six minutes, tops*, then I went downstairs and began decorating and wrapping. By 1:00 AM, we were ready for tomorrow's celebration. Crepe paper streamers, ribbons strung around banners, surprises wrapped in rainbow colored paper.

When everything looked just right, I went up to bed and in the darkness, I softly spoke my own words of thanks.

Thank you for the gift of this son.
Thank you for all that I have, it is so much.
Help me to be worthy of all you've given me.
Help me to never forget to be grateful, and to always remember this is what I dreamed of.

Early tomorrow, I'll hear Auggie knock on our door. He'll rush to the bed and I'll hold him inside my arms. I'll close my eyes and press my face against the warmth of his tousled curls. Inhaling his very existence, I'll whisper to him, Happy birthday, baby.

Happy birthday, sweet Auggie.
I can't wait for today, when we celebrate that you were born.

I'll keep hugging him and kiss his tender cheek. I'll look face on into his dark-lashed green hazel eyes, and remind him over and over again today, how happy I am that he is here.

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Thursday, April 10, 2014

Seasoned American Blogger 2

"I think so much. And that makes me want to say what I think. And I think about that all day. What's scary is if I don't say what I think, that would mean I wouldn't be sharing. Which means then no one will hear it. Can you imagine? I mean.... why even think? That's what a blogger wrestles with. Everyday."

In a world that asks for more, we bring you...  more.

Finishing what American Blogger started, Seasoned American Blogger 2, is life with no instagram, no FB, no tweeting, and no Pinterest. Because being a human is soooooo interesting.

Seasoned American Blogger 2. With more of what you loved in American Blogger -- more hats, more hair, more pillows, more thoughts, more age. A special film, for those who remember the days when we didn't take a picture, post on FB, tweet a funny thought, or instagram your new Aerosoles, in the entire day.

"Seasoned Blogger 2 is beautifully cinematically backlit and filmed from bed,  and filled with more of what Seasoned Americans asked for -- except the chevron pillows, 'cause this mama's seasoned and mama don't play fads."

Watch it today. It will change your life. Only because you'll lose the two minutes that you spend watching it. So, that counts for being true.

**no children's emotions were harmed in the filming of this video**


Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Things That Having No Coffee Make Me Do

People who say that coffee doesn't do a thing for them are people that I don't understand. Look under their skin and I know our insides wouldn't match. Coffee beans are my spark plugs. They're the kerosene to my lamp and the Charcoal Briquets to my Weber grill.

I'm half the man I can be, without my coffee. And things don't go well when I'm not fired up on all cylinders. Like walking into a store, needing only one item, and walking around for twenty minutes, unable to remember what the hell that one item was.

No coffee tells my brain it's okay to drive the kids to school with slippers on. Being uncaffeinated convinces me that my husband's V-neck sweater pseudo pajamas pass for clothes at the school scholastic book fair.

Oh, yeah, no coffee is no good.

No coffee makes me think I can put a twisty tie in my hair and it's a hairdo.

No coffee makes me turn up the radio dial when I want more heat in the car.

No coffee and my 11-year-old son's winter boots don't look so bad on my feet.

No coffee and the mailbox with that morning's newspaper just seems ssssoooo far away.

No coffee and I pack five fruit roll-ups as the kids' lunches (it'll be a fun surprise!)

No coffee and emptying the dishwasher feels like I'm lifting stone slabs up the sides of the pyramids.

No coffee and I'd rather walk around with one hand pulling up my pants all day than go all the way to the bedroom upstairs into the closet to get my brown belt.

Coffee is good and coffee does good. It connects the wires in my brain into the slots where they're supposed to go and makes shouting back at talk radio in the mornings a fun thing.

Coffee makes me into an Olympian and I can do an hour walk on the treadmill on a steep incline and as long as the radio is on to permanent hearing damage range, I don't get bored.

One of the first jobs I gave to my children as soon as they could pull a kitchen stool up against the counter, was that of measuring out two heaping scoops of Folger's grounds. I have the water set, and all they have to do is push the button to start the gurgling. Our household has grown to find the snoring lion sounds of our Mr. Coffee in the morning a soothing thing.

To my children, the sound of coffee bubbling and perking is a promise to them, that they won't be eating six packs of Pringles for lunch that day.

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Sunday, April 6, 2014

In Case You Missed It

Fun finds, deep finds, lots of good stuff. Here are some of my internet favorites from this week:

--Texts from Jane Eyre via one of the best humor websites on the internet, The Hairpin (love the hairpin) This one is as wonderful as it sounds. Don't miss it.

--The New York Times, nothing else I need to say. Except this very important read, good and life changing, if we even incorporate for two minutes a day: The Trick of Life .

--Finally, this one to mark for later: 14 Writing Tips from Anne Lamott. (yes. I printed it out.)

Have a wonderful Sunday, everyone! I think spring might be here today.

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