Thursday, October 7, 2010

Acceptance Of The Ordinary

September has always been a month to be endured for me.

My birthday has always been a difficult event for me.

Autumn, with it's leaves falling from the trees and to the ground, does the same to me, strips me bare and to the core.

With all 3 occurring, always, at once?

It gets harder and harder to put my shoulder down and just plow through.

September means the end of days filled with sun, hours, and my children about me and within my reach.

My birthday means another year older, with less dreams realized, and the ticking of the clock marching on.

Autumn, with its trees left skeletal, has always reminded me that another year has also lost it's life, and is  coming to an end.

As I said, not.a.good.time for me.

And, I'm faced with the ordinariness.

Of me.

I am ordinary.

I had the dreams of any person for myself.

To write to the point where people reading my words would be able to feel my ache; to be able to dance a barefoot dance so exquisite that to those watching, the sound of the music would fall away; to be able to sing in the clearest voice that those listening would be left unable to move and only to sit, and listen, and not a thing more.

But my life has worked itself to be one of ordinariness. Where I have laid my dreams down.

I am an ordinary woman who stays home with her children.

There is no book that has my name on its cover, there is no ballet where I danced to the point of utter silence, there is no song that anyone heard me sing, that left them breathless.

But, then, I look at my children, and they are the song I didn't sing, the dance that never was, and the book that remains unwritten.

When I look in their eyes, I enter a plane of existence other than the 3 dimensional one we live in. There is no skin nor bone that separates us. 

When I catch their faces, turned at such an angle,  that for a split second where time stops, I see the ghost of my face in the curve of their cheek.

No matter how poetically written, or eloquently delivered, the account of my life is that of an ordinary woman. 

I am ordinary.

But am I?

Am I really?  [see below]

Tweet from Ree, ThePioneerWoman

Twitter, the great equalizer.

Gotcha!  * [my apologies if I had you goin' and played on your emotions and made you deeply concerned enough to leave something awesome on here for me......I can be obnoxious like that...I still do not like autumn, my birthday, or September--that doesn't change]


  1. HEE! You are SO FAMOUS! Getting a tweet from Ree!

    Also, you, my friend, are FAR from ordinary. You can't touch so many people the way you do by being ordinary.

    Besides, you're the freaking EMPRESS!

  2. SWEET!! Yes, we do so love our Twitter...& our Blue Nun!! You, my dear, rock the world in so many ways, & have touched so many people! Never for a moment think you are ordinary...besides, you've spent far too much time in Crazy Town, you have to be certifiable by now! Thank you again for playing along...what fun we have together!! :-))

  3. WAIT!! One more thing!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! How did I miss that?? Of course, I too spend September wallowing in a pit of despair...losing my kidlets, losing the long summer days, losing my sh** trying to get back to routines & crazy schedules...but still, no excuse...I hope it was as fabulous as you are!!

  4. You are anything but ordinary! Although, I had to admit... I had to Google Blue Nun, because I had no idea what it was. Maybe I am the one that is ordinary.

  5. You are famous and I can say I knew you when...and my are hardly ordinary..perhaps extraordinary...yes, definitely extraordinary.

  6. I love Ree! She just seems so down-to-earth. Mind you, I still didn't have the guts to talk to her when I came face to face with her at blogHer. Instead I tweeted that I had just seen her and wanted to ask her to set me up with a cute cowboy. lol

    For the record, you are extraordinary. When you write I feel your ache, dance to your music and sing your song.

  7. Lol! That's wonderful! Congrats! They say ordinary people do ordinary things. You, my dear, do extraordinary things both as a writer and mother, and, are thus, extraordinary!


  8. I've been following you since you flew onto the scene breaking all my records for number of followers. I've felt completely awed by your writing and your love of your children.


  9. I was just blogging around this morning and found your blog. I love reading different blogs, it's so enjoyable getting to know different people, different points of view, and the seeing the different talents people have. Thank you so much for letting me visit.

  10. Look at you! Chatting with the superstars!

    And the word I define you in is so far more than ordinary, it is extraordinary.

    You are extraordinary in your exemplary mothering. You are extraordinary in the way you embrace those around you. You are extraordinary in these words you weave. Just look at that post. Take a moment and reread it. It is spellbinding. You are extraordinary in the grace with which you choose to live your life.

    And as for me personally, you have left your mark on me. You have taken me in and lifted me up at times when I needed it the most. You have pushed and held my hand and what you have given me is invaluable. And i know, that I am one of many. I'm pretty sure there was a post written about a certain Fairy Blogmother, by a certain Gigi.

    So, you my dear, are far, far from ordinary. You are grace and goodness. You are Empress Extraordinaire.

  11. I'm not a lover of this time of year either. Going to and coming home from work in the dark...yuck. Thank you for your comment at my blog. I have to say that blog posts with 'pictures of one year olds smashing cupcakes into their faces' sounds very funny to me and I did infact smile as I read your comment something that I dont do often when reading my own blog.

  12. Am I out of the loop that I don't know who that woman is? I'm so far out of the loop I think loop is a thing that typesetters look through. Oh right! It is! (I am a recovering typesetter.)

    But I know who you are. I see your generous spirit everywhere. You are giving everywhere, most of all to your family and darling children.

    Rock on Empress. I will always live in your kingdom.

  13. Cool beans!!! And you say she and I are buds!!!

    And whaddya mean not telling us it was your birfday? And whaddya mean that I didn't know you had a Twitter? And whaddya mean I have a Twitter but haven't figured out how to match it up to my blog?

    You're the coolest of the cool. You have a mural, for pete's sake!! And you Tweet with Ree! Why worry about being normal? Normal is totally overrated... and I think impossible with a houseload of boys.

  14. No, lovely lady, you are far from ordinary. But the melancholy of fall is a powerful thing, and it will pull a person down if you let it.

  15. Happy Birthday, sweet Empress!! You know I think you are extraordinary. And then some.

    Rock on with your bad self, chatting with the Pioneer Woman. You know I love you. xoxoxox

  16. High five and a herky! Ree is awesome!

    Happy Belated birthday, famous one!

  17. Dreams don't quite die until we let them- unless you are like me and want to play in the NBA. I think that it ended when I turned 41 and accepted that I wasn't going to be 6'5.

    Damn dreams always letting us down. ;)

  18. I don't do my birthday any more. It was too agonizing for too long. I don't think i can skip the getting older part, damnit, but I am done with the annual grief that is my birthday.

    But loving wishes for you, regardless.

    And...damn you. *I've* never gotten a tweet from PW!

  19. Empress--You are indeed special--to so many people!

  20. Are you kidding me? You have plenty of time to make your dreams come true. Have you seen Betty White lately? She is on FIRE! I'm just saying... ;-)

  21. I like September. It's my birth month, too (27th) and it's football weather. I love the changing colors of the trees and the cooler days.

  22. i was just gonna say U R not just ordinary. You are extraordinary. And now that you got a tweet from Ree...Wow!
    Love ya babe!

  23. Hey You!
    Wishing we lived closer, would love to go for a coffee, a non virtual one. Sometimes this cyber thing is just not enough. I've been really trying to figure out what it is that brings joy into our lives. True Joy. It happens to me when I least expect it. I want to bottle it up and have it on hand when I too am feeling ordinary and that my life is well... ordinary. I think it is when we realize it is in the ordinary that life is waiting for us... waiting to be unwrapped, experienced and en"joy"ed. Look who's being Yoda now? Have no idea what got into me there. But I'm too lazy to delete.
    Love ya,

  24. Happy Birthday, whenever it actually is.

    This is my absolute FAVORITE time of the year. I'm sure if we sat down over a case of wine I could convince you to love it. And maybe you could convince me to love Twitter, 'cause so far? Meh.

  25. Had to laugh at your "punchline."

    But, really- the feeling of being ordinary- none of us ever dreams of growing up and being ordinary. But, to our kids, we are not.

    At least not until they are teenagers. And then I'll have to find another argument.

  26. See? There's no way The Pioneer Woman would tweet just an ordinary old blogger!! I keep telling you this, but it's true - you ROCK!! Don't ever forget it. Oh, and Happy Belated, my dear Empress;) xoxo

  27. If you are ordinary, then it cannot be a bad thing.

  28. Ha, no one is tweeting me! But then I barely know what that behind on the times!

    Funny had me nearly crying the whole way through. First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I can't believe you didn't tell us. I love people's birthdays! You are so not ordinary, Alexandra, and you know that you don't need anything "official" to prove your worth and value in the lives of others. I love that you saw that value reflected in your children. And that is a mother's work, isn't it? We don't get accolades or recognition. But you know you've done something extraordinary by raising your children to be good human beings. You're a caring, wonderful mother and friend and there is nothing simply ordinary about that.

    Love to you for the best year to come!

  29. Happy Birthday!

    Did you get my package?

    Skype me later...


  30. Empress... if there's anything you are... it is FAR from ordinary. I would never put you two in the same sentence. Ever. Your words always sing to me and I love to hear your stories. You don't need your name in print to validate that you are sincerely loved and admired in the blogging community.

    Happy birthday, miss!

    Lookatchoo, rubbing shoulders with the fabulous and famous. I can say I knew you when ;)

  31. Did I miss a birthday? That won't do. Happy Birthday now!
    "To write to the point where people reading my words would be able to feel my ache"
    Mission accomplished Dear Empress, you are Exquisite!

  32. Ordinary is not a word I would use to describe you. You take the time to share your words, you share your love for your children, you share your encouragement. Each of us is lucky to read your words, and I wish you a truly magical birthday.

    The twitter is just gravy!

  33. I love you, I love Twitter. You are both so lovely and equality-oriented.

  34. Ordinary? Hardly.

    You. Are. The. Empress.

    We all bow down to you and your greatness.

    Far from ordinary....very extraordinary!

  35. I'm not a fan of the word ordinary. I think everyone has their own story and uniqueness that to others sounds like a dream. I dream one day of having kids and being able to look at them and see bits of myself reflected back. And I would never have been able to put it as eloquently as you just did. So no, I don't think you're ordinary :)

  36. Nice one! You had me fooled. Although, it is the first time I visited your blog, so I didn't know what to expect.

    And your thoughts of dreams put aside...even if it is a bit of a joke, it's also: not. Which is sad, and makes me all the more pleased to laugh at it.

  37. Empress, you know I'm going to totally kick you in the taco. I was all deeply concerned for you and I was all "I better think of something really facken heartfelt" cause I'm all caring of you like that and when I got to the bottom, I didn't get it and I had to re-read it. Empress, I read this again.
    Pass the blue nun old lady...kidding about the old lady...and the taco

  38. I love Twitter for that ability! I got a tweet from the author Ayelet Waldman and nearly plotzed.

    Ordinary is subjective. Now stop that.

  39. Yup, I agree. I think you are extraordinary, too.

  40. I WAS feeling all sad and empathetic towards you, but now I see you are just a faker faker belly-acher! That's so great that Ree tweeted you!

  41. Yeah, you totally had me. Still, it was beautifully written and executed. A tweet from the Pioneer Woman!? Awesome.

    Happy Belated Birthday. I still love the line "I see the ghost of my face in the curve of their cheek". Have a wonderful weekend :)

  42. Damn, I was caught hook, line and sinker. What a gorgeous, poetic post, I thought! And it is - gorgeous, poetic and mischievous! You are so VIP in the blogosphere, it's not even funny. Especially when you wear that red ermine cape I love. It matches your sapphire crown.

  43. Well, your writing is certainly not ordinary -- and I know when life gets a little less crazy -- when those kiddos are grown -- you will find your dream again and maybe that name on a book!

  44. Clearly there is no need for my to plump your ego, as the tweet from Ree has you on Cloud 9. Need I say that I'm green with envy?

    Ordinary MY ASS, woman!

  45. There doesn't seem to be anyone else around. lala Oh sorry, got caught in the moment. You and I are destined to be great friends I see it now. It's only right royalty stick with royalty. (Don't tell anyone but I am Queen in my kingdom.)

  46. I think any of us could morph into extraordinary at any moment, but does it have to be on Twitter?

  47. Wow! I snuck in lured by your post and perhaps hoping that your great writing skills might rub off on me! And what did I find? A gathering of admirers toasting one of blogosphere's celebrities.

    I am in awe. I don't know anyone here but that won't stop me from expressing my admiration for your writing (what little I've read of it) and to say how I too have felt desperately 'ordinary' and perhaps have more reason than you for feeling so!

    But, like everyone else here, I too hasten to add that you don't smell the slightest bit ordinary to me. Every good wish to you. May you continue to rise to the greatness of your ever expanding vision!

  48. Most of the awesome movies are about ordinary people do ordinary things that turn out to be extraordinary. And yes I agree: Twitter is unique in this way.

  49. I'm soooo waiting for the day that Ree or The Bloggess acknowledge me. I'm pretty jealous right now ;)

  50. You foiled your own argument, Empress, by writing too damn well. But I feel you. My birthday doesn't do me in, nor even the ordinary-ness that has overtaken my *big* plans and expectations. But the Winter? F*ck, yeah. I get the S.A.D. blues so bad I want to switch anti-depressants and buy one (or twelve) of those 'spensive UV lamps. Let's keep commiserating.

  51. I may be a few days late in wishing you a happy birthday, but just wanted to say that you are FARRRR from ordinary. See? even PW thinks you're pretty rockin'!

    And today is my boy's b-day... maybe that could make up for my missing yours? Maybe?

  52. I want to be your kind of ordinary, beam me up Empress!

  53. Rock on with your bad self, you Pioneer Woman attention gatherer you! I echo your thoughts about fall. Sucks, really.

  54. This post made me get chills down my arms (the part about your kids being your unsung song) . . . and then laugh! I love the PW as well. She's the one who got me into this whole crazy blogging world.

  55. I am cracking up. You had me going! I love your sense of humor. But you know, I live for Fall - I kid you not. All the happy things. Adventure, my marriage, my birthday, new starts ...

    Just catching up after all this time away. :-)

  56. And the famous continues..... With more love from The P Woman herself.

  57. Har den äran på födelsedagen min vän! That's Swedish for happy birthday my friend. You and I are opposites I just learned. Autumn is my favorite time of year. The ONLY redeeming qualities of summer are it's looser schedule, and the constant presence of the two miracle children God blessed me with. Well them, and all their friends, all day, one big party of teens, eating me out of house and home and having a blast. We're "the house" where the neighborhood gathers. Seven boys on our short little 1/2 circle of a street. The names and ages have changed as people come and go, but it's a families with kids neighborhood (build in 1974) I love having kids around."

    I LOVE being "the house:. Secretly hoped for it since childhood when we were that house for our neighborhood, and my wonderful mother would let everyone in and let us EAT BETWEEN MEALS because there were kids over hwo were used to snacks between meals ;-) I digress. I'm on bed rest for asthma and am taking crazy drugs and can't shut up.

    Back to autumn. It finally gets cooler. The slant of the sun changes. Leaves turn amazing colors. Then comes winter, cold, stark, icicles hanging like daggers, snow covering the ground, covering up all manner of unsightly things. Blizzards leave you housebound, but kids can walk through snow and show up. We drink cocoa and make popcorn and sit in front of our wood burning stove. Holidays. (This magical place I'm raving about is Colorado).

    Ok, post length comment. Sorry.

    I can't expect you to remember me, but I've been your follower since 2010...and you mine. Or were. I can never tell who it is who leaves...does anyone know how to find out, btw? I've just met a lot of people in between and can't make it around to ALL the people I follow with any consistency. So hi. Nice to see you again. (I probably had under 30 followers when we met. I'm nw at 391...)

    Tina @ Life is Good



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