Monday, December 13, 2010

Tricks To Getting What You Want For Christmas, That Work by Baby E

This is a space pirate

Monday, only 1 more Monday, and then it's Christmas~wish I were kidding. So, being Monday, it's Baby E's Post Day. And this is one he has been taking notes on.

This post is for kids only.

And he is very serious about the topic: "How To Get What You Want For Christmas." So, gather the kids, and Baby E will let them in on his sworn to work tricks of working the parental units. And, now, Baby E speaks:

My mom loves this picture. It's just me playing around. But this is a good trick to getting your Christmas presents. I'll tell you why.

Tricks To Getting Your Christmas Presents 
The tricks I'm going to tell you about today are for kids only.

They only work for kids.

If you have a kid that doesn't read, it's OK if you read this to them.
If they can read alone, then they can read this.

These are the tricks that always work for me. To get what I really want for Christmas.

1. These tricks only work for the stuff you really want. You can't use them for everything you want. It can't be for goofy things. Only the stuff you really want. Like "have to have" stuff. The stuff you want more than anything.  

2. You first have to make a list of everything you want. Even if it is 3 pages. Make a long list, and have lots of things you see on there. Make a list that looks like you want 10050 things and then do that. You don't have to write, just cut out the picture of anything you like you see and gluestick it to paper.

You can make this list as big as you want. Then your parents will see how much you want. The trick is this: when they see how much you want, they will only get you what you really want.  It works.

3.  Sing Christmas carols...all the time. Sing in your loudest, happiest voice and they will love this. They will feel like shopping for you. Sing "Away In A Manger" as loud as you can while you do good and quiet things like saying, "mom, I'm making Christmas cards for my brothers." This trick works. She will feel like buying you something that day. Make your mom ornaments, too.

4.  Tell your mom to play Christmas music. Always ask for that. This works.

5. Put on a Christmas play called "A Christmas Carol." You can be all the ghosts. You can be the Ghost of Christmas Past, The Ghost of Christmas Present, and The Ghost of Christmas That Will Be. I got this idea after we went to see A Christmas Carol last week.

You do this: make a play sign saying there is a play. Call your family to sit on the sofa. Have only one light on. Use a blanket for all your costumes.

The Ghost of Christmas Past can be you showing how happy you were last year when you got your favorite gift.

The Ghost Of Christmas Present will be you showing them how happy you will be when you get that one gift you really want.

The Ghost of Christmas Future will be you showing them how sad you will be when your one gift you really wanted isn't under the tree.

This will work. I practiced this morning, and my mom, well, I could tell it will work.  

6.  Your Christmas lists are important. I showed mine to my dad and he told me I needed to rank them in order of wanting and to write on top of the list "Updated" and "Newest Version" so that he would know. He said this would help. And so I do that when I add to my list. Next week, I will have my mom show your kids my lists.

7.  I told my mom that I cannot do chores today, I have to work on my updated list and it is the most important. And she said OK.

8. Have your mom watch the commercials together with you about the kids who are so happy when they open their presents. This will work.

9.  It is IMPORTANT to be the nicest person in the world starting right now.

10.  Do stuff without anyone asking you to.

11.  When your mom shops, ask your brothers to go with her. So she doesn't buy crazy stuff.

12.  When you make an updated list, you have to shout "Updated List is up!"

13. Put the catalogues with the stuff you really want all over. I put them in my dad's bathroom, his favorite room. He can look at it then. When he goes to the bathroom, I knock on the door, and say, "Dad? Do you see the catalogue in there?" He says, "Yes, Baby E, thank you." 

These things will work. Next week I will show you my lists.

I have one more thing to say:

Why do people do ornamental dumping?
 My mom was driving, and we went past a house that had a HUGE Frosty the Snowman next to a Candy Cane Lane and next to a Baby Jesus and next to a giant snow globe and then there was 2 reindeer with a Santa next to them!
That is ornamental dumping!
You cannot have Baby Jesus next to a snow globe! You have to decide what you want and can't have everything in front of your house like that.


It snowed today like a blizzard and church was cancelled and so was my brother's volleyball game and we stayed inside in pajamas!
Happy Holidays to all of you! 


  1. Ornamenal dumping is the best thing to call that insanity. Two thumbs up, Baby E.

  2. I heart Baby E!!!
    My favorite is #2 - Sing Christmas carols while saying quiet things like "I'm making cards for my brothers.."


  3. e,

    nice list and sounds like you have just the plan to get what you want for christmas. you will have to come back and tell us how you turned out. hope you get all that you wish for.

    i dont know that it will help cole, my youngest (6), as he went big on his list. he wants a dirt bike, a 4 wheeler, a usable parachute...yeah. lol.

    haha. i so agree on ornamental dumping...we have a house nearby that has about 40 inflatable decorations in their yard, which would make a great place for hide and seek but really not a good yard.

  4. I've also found that "make sure your parents divorce" is a good tip, because the guilt alone in that first Christmas has summarily caused an accumulation of 14,587 toys and games and crap with nowhere on Earth to put it.

    Good luck!

  5. Okay Baby E - I'll do exactly what you said so I can get what I want for Christmas.

  6. Ornamental Dumping is the WORST. Obviously, you have very good taste.

    At my house #9 and #10 go a LONG towards getting what you want all year long. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

  7. Gee, I wish I'd had those tips when I was kid!

  8. Sorry Baby E, no way am I reading this to my kids. Santa is done with their toys.

  9. OMGosh, I cackled like an insane woman over the Christmas Ghosts. That is great!!! Baby E, you should write a book. You'd make millions. I promise. You are too grand.

  10. I totally remember making a really long list and then going back and starring or double starring things I really, really wanted.

  11. Thanks for these tips! I am going to do them all.

    Yes, I agree that ornament dumping is just plain wrong.

  12. Well, i don't have any little kids and my kids aren't really getting anything for Christmas. Just saying...

  13. He's a pretty smart kid! I will have to pass this on to my nephews.

  14. Ornamental THERE is something the homes association should get on. No...wait...I don't want that. I'm the next Griswold wannabe! *grin*

    Fantatstic! Award winning post!!

  15. "This will work!" My new mantra.

  16. Ornamental dumping! SO TRUE! I hate it when people just dump everything all over their lawn - Baby Jesus wasn't visited by light-up reindeer or Spongebob Squarepants.

    You're a genius!

  17. Ornamental dumping is genius! As is Baby E

  18. "9. It is IMPORTANT to be the nicest person in the world starting right now."

    This kid is awesome.

  19. Ornamental dumping might be my new favorite phrase.

    I'll be introducing it to everyone I know!

    Great list, Baby E!

  20. Baby E, are you sure it won't work for adults? Cuz I have some stuff I want and I'm thinking a few of these tricks might work...

  21. What a great list, Baby E! My girls have lists but they're not very long. I wonder if this method works for grown-ups because I could sure use a list 3 pages long! (:

  22. BABY E. Listen to me. The trick to get what you want is to ask for something so super small that doesn't cost much. Then when your mom asks why you are doing that, you tell her it is because you are trying to save money.

    She will then go out and buy you more than you ever imagined possible.

    Awesome tricks, btw.

  23. Why do people do ornamental dumping? Baby E, this is a burning question in my mind as well. I think you need to pick a theme and stick to it. Santa, penquins, and Baby Jesus would NEVER be found together in the wild, so why should they be hanging out in the neighbor's yard?

    Your tips are awesome, and I think you may have published them on some super-secret kids only blog a week or so ago....because my 12 year old is really doing some of these things. I may not let her read your other hints, since it's working so well already.

    Nice job Baby E, and Merry Christmas to you!

  24. Great tips baby E although I am not reading this to my kids, they are still young enough to be happy with an empty box. This list will wreck it for sure.

  25. You rock, Baby E! I am going to share this with my munchkins when I get home. Hope you continue to be good all the year through. That is how to REALLY get what you want! ;-)
    Enjoy the day!

  26. Oh baby E!! You should come and visit a house on a street in our takes ornamental dumping to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL!!!!

    I love your ideas...very wise! I don't think I 'll let my kids read them! ;)

  27. Love these tricks, Baby E! I think my kids are onto a couple of them, but you have some new ones, too.

  28. My favorite tip is sending your brothers to make sure your mom stays on the right path. Love the tips Baby E and my kids will too! Merry Christmas.

  29. I also love the idea of having your brothers along. They totally won't let her get all crazy and buy you an easy bake oven or something!

  30. Baby E is brilliant...and how'd he get so smart about "ornament dumping?"

  31. Baby E, I am 100% with you on the ornamental dumping. And, inflatable Baby Jesus is wrong. Period.

    Love this: Sing "Away In A Manger" as loud as you can while you do good and quiet things like saying, "mom, I'm making Christmas cards for my brothers."

  32. Is that a Perry the platypus t-shirt?! You are so cool!

  33. Oh man, you know I always love Baby E, but this is his opus, without question. The ghosts thing just killed me. Rock on, E!

  34. You are one brilliant boy! And now I'm going to get veeerrry suspicious when my kids make me Christmas ornaments 4 days in a row!

  35. Another fantastic post, Baby E! You have some great ideas.

    P.S. My kids like to knock on the bathroom door and tell their dad important things, too. I wonder why they love that room so much?

  36. Oh my? Baby E. I can't let my girls read this. I would be broke in no time due to all the present buying. And... well now I know all the tricks. A pajama day sounds great right about now. Good luck with your Christmas list, your mom is putty in your hands.... (a little birdie told me)

  37. "Updated list is up!!"

    Best line ever ever ever ever ever.

    And I totally agree with you, Baby E., NO ORNAMENTAL DUMPING.

    It should be a law.

  38. This list is fabulous. Made me smile a lot. But I LOVE your phrase "ornamental dumping". Perfect!

  39. My kid is permitted to ask for 3 things. This is my brilliant idea that I came up with (probably not on my own) because of the 3 gifts the wise men bring baby Jesus. If she came to me with a list of 10,500 things she wanted (or any amount more than 3) I would feel like slapping the entitlement out of her. I guess just like parenting, tricking parents really does depend on the individuals involved.

  40. Baby E, I cannot decide if you are more adorable or more BRILLIANT. You definitely have a gift of some kind here (er, I mean "gift" in the non-present kind of sense). I will definitely read this to my 6 year old son who, by the way, looks JUST like you in this photo!! I swear that when I clicked on this post I did a double take for a second. Anyway, I will show this to my son who, being only 6 years old, doesn't quite get #9 and 10 right now and instead is showing alot of attitude and sass in the weeks leading up to Christmas. He has alot to learn from you!

    Can't wait to see your list!

  41. Baby E have you been talking to my son?

  42. Thank goodness Chanukah came early, because you would have cost me a MINT if Mooch had seen this post. Whew, dude. That was close. Also: you really scared me with the "ornamental dumping" line. I thought you had THE WORST NEIGHBORS EVER until I realized what you meant. (Talented, but mean. Ask mom what I was thinking you meant.) But I totally agree! I've been meaning to write about this myself, but you beat me. I have neighbors who have plastic candy canes towering over their manger set-up. One strong wind and they'll take out Mary and Joseph.

  43. Very good list Baby E! I can tell say for sure, you had me at playing Christmas music! :) I love to listen while decorating the tree, baking my figured it out!

    I hope you find your MOST favorite things under the tree this year!

  44. Baby E, I think my youngest daughter has been practicing #9, now I know why: )But she only put One Thing on her list so I don't have wiggle room!
    P.S. A day spent warm inside in pajamas sounds heavenly!

  45. You are a genius Baby E. And extremely very sneaky. I don't think I'm going to let my kids read this list. They might get too many good ideas.

  46. My personal favorite has always been to update the list minutes before hopping into bed Christmas eve, good times.

  47. I think I'm going to put some of these to use. It could get me the thing I am craving most.

  48. Baby E, ask gramma and grampa. You don't have to trick mom and dad.

    Love, Cece

  49. Sage advice Baby E.

    Sadly it is too late for my little rugrats. They will be lucky to score underwear and socks with the way they behave.

  50. Yes..those things would cunning-the mind of a child....
    And I too agree that baby Jesus shouldn't be next to the Frosty...

  51. Also give your parents a letter to Santa and spell all the E’s backwards. Gets them every time, the suckers. Mwhahaha!

  52. haha:) tell your mom to play christmas music. never!
    as for ornament dumping, that too made me laugh out loud. i can only imagine the treasure for the ornament dumper is the number and intensity of the lights from all the ornaments, and if the ornaments don't have lights, well, i have no idea what they are thinking.

  53. Brilliant! It's too bad that it only works for kids, otherwise I'd be putting on my very own play tonight.

  54. Smart little man you've got there.

    Well done Little

  55. oh baby E. Smart beyond his years, that one. I'm SO on board with the Target commercials. Those kids and families are so happy!

  56. Dear Baby E.,
    I am sorry I'm so late to the party here. Number 3 is the BEST. Anyone who sings Christmas music loudly deserves some attention. And doing "good and quiet things?" Will you teach my son how to do that?

    Also, I am quite the expert at leaving catalogs around the house. We should compare notes.
    Thank you,
    The Flying Chalupa

  57. Great tips! The catalogs in the bathroon would work at my house too.

  58. These are the best suggestions. Some I used as a kid myself, but I never considered putting on "A Christmas Carol"in the living room. Nice touch, Baby E.

    And oh my gosh, I cannot stop laughing about the ornamental dumping. That is so true! And if kids know it's true, then seriously, people, what are you thinking?



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