|This is a space pirate|
Monday, only 1 more Monday, and then it's Christmas~wish I were kidding. So, being Monday, it's Baby E's Post Day. And this is one he has been taking notes on.
This post is for kids only.
And he is very serious about the topic: "How To Get What You Want For Christmas." So, gather the kids, and Baby E will let them in on his sworn to work tricks of working the parental units. And, now, Baby E speaks:
My mom loves this picture. It's just me playing around. But this is a good trick to getting your Christmas presents. I'll tell you why.
Tricks To Getting Your Christmas Presents
The tricks I'm going to tell you about today are for kids only.
They only work for kids.
If you have a kid that doesn't read, it's OK if you read this to them.
If they can read alone, then they can read this.
These are the tricks that always work for me. To get what I really want for Christmas.
1. These tricks only work for the stuff you really want. You can't use them for everything you want. It can't be for goofy things. Only the stuff you really want. Like "have to have" stuff. The stuff you want more than anything.
2. You first have to make a list of everything you want. Even if it is 3 pages. Make a long list, and have lots of things you see on there. Make a list that looks like you want 10050 things and then do that. You don't have to write, just cut out the picture of anything you like you see and gluestick it to paper.
You can make this list as big as you want. Then your parents will see how much you want. The trick is this: when they see how much you want, they will only get you what you really want. It works.
3. Sing Christmas carols...all the time. Sing in your loudest, happiest voice and they will love this. They will feel like shopping for you. Sing "Away In A Manger" as loud as you can while you do good and quiet things like saying, "mom, I'm making Christmas cards for my brothers." This trick works. She will feel like buying you something that day. Make your mom ornaments, too.
4. Tell your mom to play Christmas music. Always ask for that. This works.
5. Put on a Christmas play called "A Christmas Carol." You can be all the ghosts. You can be the Ghost of Christmas Past, The Ghost of Christmas Present, and The Ghost of Christmas That Will Be. I got this idea after we went to see A Christmas Carol last week.
You do this: make a play sign saying there is a play. Call your family to sit on the sofa. Have only one light on. Use a blanket for all your costumes.
The Ghost of Christmas Past can be you showing how happy you were last year when you got your favorite gift.
The Ghost Of Christmas Present will be you showing them how happy you will be when you get that one gift you really want.
The Ghost of Christmas Future will be you showing them how sad you will be when your one gift you really wanted isn't under the tree.
This will work. I practiced this morning, and my mom, well, I could tell it will work.
6. Your Christmas lists are important. I showed mine to my dad and he told me I needed to rank them in order of wanting and to write on top of the list "Updated" and "Newest Version" so that he would know. He said this would help. And so I do that when I add to my list. Next week, I will have my mom show your kids my lists.
7. I told my mom that I cannot do chores today, I have to work on my updated list and it is the most important. And she said OK.
8. Have your mom watch the Target.com commercials together with you about the kids who are so happy when they open their presents. This will work.
9. It is IMPORTANT to be the nicest person in the world starting right now.
10. Do stuff without anyone asking you to.
11. When your mom shops, ask your brothers to go with her. So she doesn't buy crazy stuff.
12. When you make an updated list, you have to shout "Updated List is up!"
13. Put the catalogues with the stuff you really want all over. I put them in my dad's bathroom, his favorite room. He can look at it then. When he goes to the bathroom, I knock on the door, and say, "Dad? Do you see the catalogue in there?" He says, "Yes, Baby E, thank you."
These things will work. Next week I will show you my lists.
I have one more thing to say:
Why do people do ornamental dumping?
My mom was driving, and we went past a house that had a HUGE Frosty the Snowman next to a Candy Cane Lane and next to a Baby Jesus and next to a giant snow globe and then there was 2 reindeer with a Santa next to them!
That is ornamental dumping!
You cannot have Baby Jesus next to a snow globe! You have to decide what you want and can't have everything in front of your house like that.
It snowed today like a blizzard and church was cancelled and so was my brother's volleyball game and we stayed inside in pajamas!
Happy Holidays to all of you!