Unattended Google Searches

The unattended google search. You read about it, you discount it, you say Naaaaaaaaah...that's something that happens to other people, it'll never happen to me and my kids.

It always happens to other families, doesn't it?

Except when it happens to yours.


My post at Aiming Low today, on what we saw when we saw the Unattended Google Search.

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Aiming Low: Where mediocre parenting is the gold standard.

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**In some exciting family news, our oldest son, Alexander, 16, has been chosen to attend an intensive civil education program known as the Civil Leadership Academy, in Washington, D.C. for one week. He was the only cadet chosen in the state of Wisconsin, and one of only 24 chosen nationwide. He leaves today for one week. When he completes the program, he and the other cadets will present before Capitol Hill legislators.


We are very proud. 

Thank you for allowing me to brag a little. He's a great kid.

xo

Studio 30 Plus

There are some new badges up on my side bar.

This one:

and this one:

I bring this up not to be boastful, but to say THANK YOU to Studio 30 Plus for this amazing honor. And also to say Thank You to everyone who voted for me in the Studio 30 Plus Boomerang Awards.

Thank you so very much, to those of you who nominated and voted for me. I never want you to think I am not touched, deeply moved, or not appreciative of this acknowledgement.

Now, go on, get, visit Studio 30 Plus if you haven't yet, it's a soooper cool community blog where you can be featured as their daily blogger, take part in some unique prompts, and submit your posts for their weekend shout outs. You'll get to know some bloggers that you wouldn't meet otherwise, and have new people read your featured posts when they're up.

It's an exciting place, and all you have to be is over 30.  I can do that.

Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, to Studio 30 Plus, and to all of you. This is quite an honor.

xo

Deemed Unsafe

When we were homeschooling a few years ago, my short husband, a/k/a youngest son, and I were on a group field trip to a huge pizza-making factory. I, and the other parents on the trip, were assigned our own child plus five to watch. I've always been lucky enough that my boy is crazy about me and sticks to me like glue, so I had no worries about whether or not he wanted to be with me. I also had absolute confidence in my abilities and zero concerns about losing any child in my care -- I've always been very responsible. However, based on who knows what criteria, there was something about me that pushed a fellow chaperoning parent to the point of her having to ask me every 20 minutes during the two and a half hour tour, So, all your kids with you?

Yesss. All six.

20 minutes later, same question, So, how many kids with you now? 

Still. Six.

I think I know what it was that weighed on her and made her twitchy: my group was having fun, lots of it; the usual faces back and forth and imitations of tossing pizza dough up in the air and missing it. I behaved on this trip and promised myself that I wouldn't get defensive with this woman, no snarky words would slip out.

You know Gloria on Modern Family? Not a Colombian exaggeration. Push us enough and you'll hear about it. But I bit my lip and kept it all inside because my son had asked me to, as all three of  my three children usually do when they set out the Rules We Must Follow On Field Trips This Means You, Mom speech given to me pre-public appearances.

This mom had her own child with her in her group, so the issue couldn't be fear of losing him via me. My son also noticed her apparition-like appearances, the Ghost of Nosiness Present. His heavy sighs were timed at the exact moments as mine in response to her questions. I saw him roll his eyes as we'd sense her approach. I saw him with the identical fake tight lipped smile skill I have come to perfect. As soon as the six in my group and I would begin with the enjoyment of an afternoon together, she'd be over in two seconds like she had heelies on.

By the end of the trip, she had me chomping my gum like a 1930's mobster to keep my mouth quiet. More than anything, I wanted to say What the heck already, lady … enough with the Amber Alert with my group. Does it bother you that much that we enjoy a few snorts and chortles here? When it came time to board the bus back home, she floated to the front of the line where we were like Casper the meddling ghost.

All your kids here before we head home? She queried.

Yup. All six. Still.

When my son and I found our seats in the middle of the bus and sat down, I looked at him and made cross eyes, slumped my shoulders, shook my head, and maturely stuck my tongue out. He covered his mouth and giggled. I know, he then whispered seriously, shaking his head and crossing his own eyes in a perfect unintentional imitation of me. I. Know, he continued, What the heck, right? Instead of keeping on asking you if you lost any kids, why didn't that lady just say I'm worried about you losing kids because you don't behave like a normal mom.

I sputtered out laughing. If the adorableness next to me at that moment was the end product of being raised by a socially suspect woman, then I don't think I have ever felt prouder of being deemed unsafe in my life. 

Hmmmm... now who'd Baby E learn that face from?

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**Twilight without Edward Cullen? Please let it not be true....details on my post today at Sprocket Ink.

She Hears The Call of Duty

This is the last in my series, The Great Depression Slayers of 2010.

The seven bloggers I've highlighted in this series so far are the ones that, without exaggeration, have each helped to see me through one of the the most difficult years in my life. I  have been following their blogs for over three years, and I love these women more with every one of their posts.

It's hard to pay a very personal tribute to the very public figure I'm writing about today. I am inspired and grateful to this woman. She is fascinating, complex, and a master of the unexpected.  She writes simply, and universally, of parenthood, marriage, friendship, challenging moments, growing older, and the essence that life is.

I began following Marinka, of the extremely popular Motherhood in NYC, soon after I got online on a snowy morning in 2009.  Back then, I followed a wonderfully funny blogger, Queen of ShakeShake, who is sadly no longer writing. I would see Marinka's clever comments at Queenie's site, and decided to follow her home, hoping she had a blog. She did! The first post I read on Marinka's site was this one, and I laughed out loud. Even slapped my thigh. It felt so good to laugh to the point of tears at a time when I thought I'd forgotten how.

Soon after, she was chosen as the 2010 BlogHer Community Keynote Speaker for Humor. Humor writers are my soft spot -- to write humor is an act of hope and optimism. I see it as an affirmation of the desire of these writers to make people laugh, make them happy, to leave readers smiling as they float through a post. Marinka's writing is realistic, wise, and very funny, it's hard not to be swept off your feet on any visit to Motherhood in NYC -- every post is a good post.

Since 2009, I have turned to her site for comfort in laughter; she has become my friend and is part of my life.

My morning click over to her site has become automatic. Whether it's real life drama and the angst of our children growing up, a humorous look at growing older, or being moved by the story of her husband replacing his wedding ring after he's lost it, she is now in the fabric of my days.

I've been so very fortunate in my blogging life to have some good things happen to me, but one of the early can't-believe-this-is-my-life moments came in the way of an email from Marinka. Aside from my eyes bugging out of my head at seeing *Marinka* in my inbox, I was bowled over by an invitation from her asking me to guest post on her site. There is no way to explain the surreal feeling of being asked to post on a site of one of the world's funniest bloggers. I spent two days preparing my post for her, and I explained to my children that the honor of this woman thinking I was funny enough to feature was one worth the two nights of Special K for dinner that we were having. My guest post there is here. I was as proud as anyone can imagine, and still regret not having that zazzle.com T shirt made in celebration of that momentous occasion in my life. I may still order it. 

My life is  better because I have her to share it with. Marinka gifts us with a little levity to life and I find it so beautiful that the desire of a humorist is to bring some joy into every one's day and to act on that -- somehow funny people know just how therapeutic a good laugh can be. And wanting to make people smile, what a powerful and personal ideal.

Marinka, I love you for so many reasons, and from the bottom of my grateful heart, and all the other hearts that you have made happier with your astounding talent of writing, I say thank you. I can't put into words what knowing you has done to my days here on this planet. What I want you to find here today is an attempt to express my emotion in the joy that I know many, many others share and have found, through your site. You have brought laughter into our lives.

Thank you for the love and support you've given to so many of us during the good times, and especially the more difficult times. It's made the biggest of differences to each of us.

Marinka, Motherhood in NYC

 

We are friends because of the laughs we spend, and the tears we save.  -- A Poem of Friendship, Nikki Giovanni 

P.S. Why did I choose Marinka as the last featured Depression Slayer? Because all of the aforementioned bloggers in this Great Depression Slayers series stem from finding Marinka's site. They commented at Motherhood in NYC, and that's how I found them. If you want to find funny bloggers, check out the commenters on a funny blogger's site; because guess what? Funny people follow funny blogs. 


And that's why Marinka is the grand finale to this series. Thank you to all of you for listening and giving me a voice to tell my story. I love my readers.

Want to know more about Marinka? You can find her at The Mouthy Housewives (a humorous advice site that I LOVE -- they published my letter) or order her book, WANTED: CAT. I have two. 
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**This blogger was one of the handful so implicit in my making it through the winters and the seasonal depression they bring, before I began my own blog in 2010 and became a part of this incredible online community. During this month, I'll be highlighting the bloggers I call "The Great Depression Slayers of 2010." To the crucial ones I clung to before I began blogging, the ones that pulled me through, I thank you.

The One Thing

There is one thing I will stop in my tracks and respond to.

There is one thing I will never stop fighting for and writing about.

The very thing that makes some hide in shame and pull their world in even closer has become the one thing that I cannot be loud enough about.

Post Partum Depression. The shame, stigma, and isolation it can cause. The suffering of all involved.

One of the best predictors of PPD recovery is social support and a network of concern.

I'm grateful to be posting at PPD to Joy, the amazing Yael's site today, on what to do if you or someone you know is trying to make it through just another day. I was that someone barely hanging on 17 years ago, and now I am a PPD survivor. I made it through to the other side, something I wish for everyone. NEVER GIVE UP.

If you know of someone, please have them stop by. If you were that someone, please let others know that reaching out is the one best thing you can do for yourself right now.

Thank you so much for reading, and thank you, Yael, for having me.

Post Partum Depression is my 'something be be passionate about.'

Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

xo