In Part I, we discussed how best to communicate with your blogger.
Today's tutorial sadly touches on the all too possible and ugly reality of blogging: when things have gone too far. Part II will cover how to recognize and what to watch for, in the case of your beloved blogger having gone beyond the invisible line of "too far" in her blogging world.
CAUTION: graphic details ahead, your beloved blogger may not be ready to face many of the following tru-dats.
As with Part I, Part II is written with LOVE for your blogger in mind. This series is NOT offered as an accusatory finger wagging post to gluestick to your loved blogger's forehead, but as a way to LOVE and KNOW your beloved blogger.
If you are mature and loving and the bigger person in the relationship, then, please, read on, bearing in mind that what you read here may make your stomach flip in recognition. [Stay cool, there's a Part III to come.]
- Do you return home to the sound of taptaptap on a keyboard, after you've been gone with the kids for four hours so she can "get some housework done already", only to find things in the same Hoarder's episode state as whence you first left?
- Are there obvious physical changes that have taken place in your blogger, like the "blogger spread" and the "blogger 15," both centered around the mid and buttocks sections of your blogger's once more firm and exercised body?
- Do you note other undeniable physical findings that include an elevated blood pressure reading, tachycardia, and panting amid cries of "BLOGGER ATE MY COMMENTS AGAIN!"
- Are you met with a guilty downcast look and stammering when you walk in the door at night and ask your lovely blogger, "So....what did you do today?"
- Does your blogger fall asleep during any attempt to watch a movie on family movie night, or fall face down into her evening meal in a dead snore by a fatigue so severe that it can only be brought on by choosing blogging over sleep? For the third night this week. (so I've heard...)
- Are the children being told to just turn their underwear inside out and wear it that way it won't kill them, until she has a chance to get to the laundry, as she promised she would earlier in the week last Tuesday.
- Have the children been heard to complain of symptoms of light headedness and seeing dark spots swim before their eyes as their blood sugar has dropped, awaiting lunch for "just give me 5 more minutes to tweak this post a bit."
- Has there been a reduction in the Visa/Mastercard balance since online and outside shopping have fallen by the wayside. TREAD CAREFULLY HERE: your joy at the plummeting Visa bill may mask your awareness of what is truly happening: your beloved blogger no longer participating in activities that once filled her time.
- Questionable Personal Hygiene. Yes, the ugliest side of blogging. Has your blogger chosen blogging over daily basic human cleanliness. Yes, Shower Skipping. Yes, "dirty blogging." Do you have days where your beloved blogger states they just haven't "had the chance to get in the shower."
- Are mealtimes occurring at later and later times? Does your blogger enthusiastically decide that "we'll all eat European tonight, at 10 PM, won't that be fun?" Do not be astounded at these attempts at rationalization.
- Are you told to "leave a comment" if you happen to disagree on a subject?
- Have your children been heard to say, "Wow, mommy, I forgot your eyes were blue, it's been so long since I've seen them?"
- Is blogging beginning to take its toll and cause wear and tear on your blogger's body as in, your blogger needs to seek medical treatment for the all too common "blogger's pinched shoulder" and "blogger's clawhand" that now surrounds the mouse.
- In Real Life interactions with offline folk, are your blogger's conversations peppered with "OMG!", or "LOL", "hashtag mamaneedssomewine", "thanks for the shout out" and "happy friday follow!"
- Do your family's phone messages look like this: "@Tommy called" or "remember to pick up Sam, address www.1341 Linden St.com."
- Have you had "cereal for dinner " more than 3 times this week, all the while your lovely blogger reassuring you that "the kids LOVE to have cereal for dinner! Right, kids?"
- Does your blogger find it incredibly mouth agape unfathomable and refuse to believe that offline people DO NOT actually know who The Bloggess, Dooce, and The Pioneer Woman are?!
There are many more possible "red flags." These are the most commonly reported. Please realize that confrontation will result in more rationalization.
DO NOT use the words "addicted" and "out of control."
What your blogger does online is important to her. It takes time to visit, comment, post, visit back, respond to comments. Without knowing the extent of the amount of time that state of the art blogging takes, you are NOT the person to make a judgment call because you do not know how very important it is for me to get back to my commenters and I'm way behind and I don't like that feeling and this is important so I think the kids can have cereal again tonight......umm, I mean, walk a mile in a blogger's shoes. (No, THAT there was NOT rationalization....interaction is vital to one's blog).
This series on loving your blogger is prepared solely for the purpose of loving your blogger.
If I hear any complaints about this information being used against a blogger in the form of humiliation or printed format being lorded and waved over their heads in abnormally raised tones of voices, then you will not see Part III: "Re-Introducing Your Blogger Back Into Society."
Don't blow it, if you want to see Part III, tread carefully. Because the blogging world is a small world, we're a loyal bunch, and I'll know in the instant it takes to hit "Post Comment."
Do the right thing: love your blogger.