Monday, December 21, 2015

It's Beginning to Sound a Lot like Christmas

Lucky for everyone, I took notes last night as we Christmas house-decorated. I eavesdropped on Laurel and Hardy while they were put in charge of ornamenting the tree. I would have joined in on putting up my lovingly selected tree baubles too but I was a touch busy doing some other things like, vacuuming, dusting, cooking, wrapping, swishing toilets...

Here's what they had to say:  (Try not to envy their holiday spirit)

"We'd better be quiet, you know what mom will say, "The tree is feeling your negative energy and won't glow as much."
"I think our ornaments are perfect. She's the one saying it's ugly not me."

"Where's the filler ornaments. Double the beauty in a third of the time. She won't know."
"Hey, hey, watch me. I can make this tree go from awful to amazing with these filler ornaments."

"She's getting mad. She's the one who wants to do the tree and makes us do it and she's mad."

"She's acting like it's the Miss Colombia for the beauty pageant for trees."

"I hope you're happy mom I'm now BLIND because of glitter dust ok??!!"
"Oh my gosh she is nuts. WHY do we need so many ornaments.?"
"Maybe she can't see."
"The tree looks fine. Our ornaments look fine. It's an ugly tree we can't mask how it looks."

"How long has she had that star? Since like they got married or something it looks like a flat pancake drooping over but she looooooooooooooooooves it."
 "Mom? HEY MOM! Do we have to get the back too?"

"Hey, Hey, look at this one. This swirly one. It looks like it's going to suck your soul out."

"Ugh. These are the ones she keeps from us. They're so ugly they can't even be ornaments  oh my God why does she keep them."
"No way. Look at these. They shouldn't even be ornaments."
"Mom! Why do you keep these they're construction paper and crayons."
"Man, parents eat that stuff up."
 "I hope she doesn't plan on saving any of these for me."

"Look at this one. All I did was screw a hole through this cardboard with a pipe cleaner and she loves it."

"She wants more ornaments. She just shouted she wants more ornaments. She IS spamming this tree."

"Isn't this like the third time we're hearing "Little Drummer Boy"?"
"Mom? Hey, mom? We love you!"




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