My 7th grade habit of chewing on my thumbnail has come back. I can't quiet my mind down enough at night to fall into a sleep and during the day, I feel light headed and then I realize I can't remember the last time I heard myself breathe.
Who will be our president.
I want to exhale but I'm holding my breath instead. We've got someone in the lead who is more unpredictable than a loose cannon. At least a loose cannon has only one kind of ammunition and you know the damage it can do. Donald Trump is an arsenal that is beyond an armory -- he is nuclear.
There is no good side to Trump's campaign and I'm frightened. What will we do if he's elected. People love him, he could be elected. He's not going away, this could be our president.
I have been studying Trump's press to find out what it is that drives the hysteria machine to keep pushing this Republican presidential candidate in the lead. These are the very first words on the Trump website, "Donald J. Trump is the very definition of the American success story, continually setting the standards of excellence in business, real estate and entertainment." He says he wants to make America great again.
I know it won't be for me. He has called Hispanics rapists, murderers, drug dealers, job takers and that we arrive in this country with our hands out, waiting for Americans to hand us their hard-earned wages. I cry about this. I am the first American in my family. My mother had to wait ten years in the United States to become a citizen and in that time, she knew there was no guarantee. She worked hard, three jobs, and because of that, all of her six children work hard.
As for our palms splayed open awaiting American dollars, I will acknowledge that my family gratefully received food basket donations every year from Catholic Relief Services as my mother struggled to support six children as a young widow of 39 years old. Thank you, America. You are generous and kind.
Because of America's generosity, I received a merit-based state scholarship that paid my college tuition. I only had to worry about providing my own shelter and finding my own food. I could work and go to school, because of financial help with my education. Thank you, America. You are generous and kind.
My mother saved to bring herself and her three children to the United States because the world knows America as the land of opportunity. She wanted a chance at a good life and she knew America was what she wanted for her family. She didn't know she was barely two months pregnant with me when she arrived in Florida. Trump would call me an anchor baby.
All this name calling by him to so many people, he has forgotten we are human beings.
I worry if Donald Trump becomes president, and that thought has made me forget that America is good.
I remembered something tonight and now I know that if Trump were to win the election, our citizens wouldn't stand for his hate. We wouldn't abide, we wouldn't participate, we wouldn't stay quiet.
How can I worry about the what if of Donald Trump when there is a nation of United States citizens who will always do the right thing.
We will never stand for his decrees of exclusion and terror raising. We will stick to our strength: our positive call to action and our care for those who struggle.
The citizens of the United States will keep America a land of opportunity and shelter for those who have no home. Donald Trump is a test, and we won't fail it. It may get frightening, it may come close to near despair and he will try. Stirring up the violent energy of hate and anger, but America will be victorious.
We are overwhelmingly a kind nation. We are loving, we are wise. Donald Trump is tough, but we are tougher.
Tonight, I'm not going to forget about us as a people.
And I'm finally going to sleep better than I have since July.
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