Your Mother

Do you know Alabaster Cow? And how about Mommypants? They are two talented and gifted writers who have co-founded The Red Dress Club, a virtual writer's group. Every Friday, they will be hosting a "flex your writing muscles" workshop. Today, their writing prompt is "to create a short fiction piece starting with these two words "your  mother."  Here  is mine:


"Your mother, oh, your mother....she is not well. She is not like other mothers. You must take care of her. Promise me you'll take care of her."

I opened my mouth and inhaled deeply, knowing I needed to stop myself from saying the words I truly wanted to say. Words that came rushing to my mouth, and that would have been directed at the wrong person.  My grandmother was dying. The moment I had both feared and prayed for, was here. I had long wished to be at her side when she left me, and not be told with a phone call. How strange it felt to be here, in the hospital with her at this moment, with my heart's desire.

I held her soft, soft hands, staring at them, while memories filled my mind as quickly as the tears that were now spilling out of my eyes. I thought about these hands, and how many times they had gently pulled a comb through my hair, while she softly sang her songs to me. She repeated her plea, "Will you? Will you, please?" Reading my thoughts, she said, "it has to be you. No one else will. You are the patient one. Always you, the one with patience."

She could feel the fatigue and heaviness about my past in my silence. "I know, she has not been good to you. She can't be, she doesn't know how to be. Without me, she will be alone. You must promise me."

I tried to focus on my grandmother's face, the one who raised me. I could see the shape of the face that I had seen through my whole life. I could make out the features that have always been there. Not even the blurred cloudiness of the tears in my eyes could remove the image in front of me. There was the faint sound of the EKG monitor beeping, such a slow beep, that it was hard to believe it was truly on. The neon green heart beats that had been jumping upward on the screen had slowed to a blinking number 24. 24 beats per minute, her heart was slowing down to nothing for me to see.

I took a moment and steadied my voice, knowing that if I spoke too soon, she would hear nothing but a hoarse, breaking attempt.  "Abuelita," I said, feeling the richness of still having her here to say these words to. "Abuelita, I love you, I love you so very much. If you need me to do this, for you to go, then I will. I will do it."

She let out a soft sound that could have been a sigh of relief. I cannot remember, it may have been her last breath, also. At the same time of her deep exhalation, the green blip on the screen that had been measuring her heartbeats, stopped. I blinked and stared, grabbing the bedrail, as if that act would help me to understand the reality of what the machine was forcing me to accept.

I felt myself wanting to shout her name, and grab her by the shoulders and shake her telling her she had to stay with me. I barely recognized myself in the force of those feelings. She was all I have ever had in my life. She couldn't leave me. One of the hardest things in that moment was to stop myself from those actions that I wanted to do more than anything.

Instead, I stood at her beside, numb with awe in realizing that I had received the only gift that I had sincerely prayed for since I was a little girl, to be here, with her, at the time of her death. Yes, I had prayed to be with her at this time, but never had I dared to believe that I'd be blessed with my prayer answered.

I squeezed my eyes shut, in the deepest prayer of thanks that my soul has ever sent. It was in this moment of humbling realization of the miracle that had just been given to me, that I found the ability to do what had to be done next.

I walked over to the phone, and dialed the number for her Doctor. I told him the time of her deep sigh, according to what the military time clock on the hospital wall above the bed showed.  I didn't call the nurses, they didn't need to come yet. I stood next to her bed, and stared hard at the face that I was so afraid I would forget. Time has a way of fading your memory, even from the things that you think you are unforgettable. 

I was counting on this to be on my side. Maybe time would help me forget the things that needed to be forgotten, so I could keep my promise to my grandmother.  I reached for the phone, and began to push the buttons that would connect me to my mother.

She would need help with arranging my grandmother's funeral.

A Mommy Of The Year Responds To A Not Mommy Of The Year

I've received an email from Ima Perfect-Mom,  and reviewing it with my bud, KludgyMom, we've collaborated on this tongue-in-cheek response. Ima questions me, on how I, and others, can boast on being anything less than perfect for our children. How can we? Well, because there is a group of moms known as "real moms." You are either able to relate and laugh at being less than perfect, or not. And that's what makes the world interesting, we are all so different.

Can't we all just get along? And accept that others may parent differently than you do? Please be kind, and welcome:

Guest Post by Ima Perfect-Mom

I am emailing you to tell you that I am shocked that you, and others, are eagerly vying for the title and trophy to "NOT Mommy Of The Year." Why are you joining in on this nonsense? And expecting to win a title for it? Are your children old enough to know that is your goal? I, for one, would never brag of my poor mothering skills. I would never display like a peacock and his feathers, all my shortcomings in the role of motherhood. A child's upbringing is not to be taken lightly.

Are your children old enough to realize they are receiving less than perfect mothering? And know that you are proud of it?

Mothering is the highest calling in my life. Not just in my life, but to many of the fine women I know who are diligently offering their lives in sacrifice to their children. Our homes are stress free, clutter free, and appealing to anyone that may drop over.

Our meals are planned with care and attention, and never "from the hip." We are always presentable, and are often horrified when we see you at the store in what appears to be your husband's T shirts.

Is this how you want your children to see you in their memory?

For me, and others like me, we don't understand you. We don't understand how you don't have perfectly planned meals, or how your children sometimes appear in public with ketchup stained T shirts, or how it appears that you've missed not one, but several, haircut appointments. And is that this morning's newspaper's rubber band in your hair? How is it that you are not able to keep up with your laundry? What is it that you do with your time?

We don't understand you.

We don't understand why you would want to publicly acknowledge that your children have "meals" of Ritz Crackers and a cup of milk, that an unexpected visitor would encounter breakfast dishes in the sink. How is this possible? And do you really park your children in front of a DVD so you can get dinner ready?

Realize, please, that perfect parenting takes all of your time and effort and attention and nothing less. Realize that and do change whatever it is that is keeping you from this. I give all of myself to my children, why won't you do the same? As I said, I am not able to understand you.

You need to parent as I do, and live as I do. It is the right way. There is no other way. And I am begging you to change. For your children. Now, please, reconsider how you are spending your time, and reprioritize what is important to you. With practice, you and the other women in this competition, will come to realize there is only one right way to be. Like Me.

Again, I ask you, why would you brag of a poor mothering moment? And then hope to win a title for it?

With sympathy for your families, Ima Perfect-Mom

Both this post and the NOT Mommy Of The Year Post are meant in fun. Let's just be nice to each other, and realize we can learn something from BOTH sides of the mothering spectrum. We all love our kids to the moon and back, and want them to be happy. But it's also nice to know, that there are others like us, who fall short of the Perfect Mother. I know that's what saves my sanity. I am not Mommy of The Year.

Royally Flanked

....and no small wonder as to why he sleeps the sleep of kings.

All is well tended to, by the royal older brother guards, at the ready to serve and protect their royal charge. A duty that is taken quite seriously in this castle, to protect the baby emperor come what may.

Were they prepared for this task on a dark Halloween night? The answer was a firm, unwavering, "Yes, my queen. We shall guard the boy."

"Very well then, be safe, my children. And hold your little brother's hand. I love you."

What Is Cool About Summer Vacations by Baby E

MONDAY: and Baby E posts it:

Well, we're back from vacation and I told my mom the first thing I would do when we got home is run around my house. I'm going to go do that again. I did it already when we got home, but I'm doing it again now. Wait for me...I'm back...do you feel my heart, mom? How fast did it go?

That was a L.O.N.G. plane ride. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. With a capitol L. We went to visit my gramma and grampa in California. They live in a place called LaJolla. And the crazy thing is that it was cold there. EVERY DAY.

I saw my cousins. They are cool. They are grown-upish teenagers. I like to be with teenagers. My favorite thing to do was to go in the clubhouse and play games. I learned a lot of new games that my mom just shook her head about and my dad said, "he's havin' fun."

GAMES I LEARNED:
I learned my new favorite game from my cousins. It's called poker. And it is fun. Everyone said I'm a natural at it. I made everyone go bankrupt. It is easy to learn. And you play with chips that are money. And it is fun to throw the chips on this funny shaped table and pretend like you're in a movie. I got to have soda, too. I don't get soda at home.

I had sheer awesome winningness power. All the time.

I liked it when I was the dealer. The best way to play is to bet small when you get low on money. I like the sound the chips make when you throw them across the table.

MY OTHER NEW GAME I LEARNED:
I learned pool. That was fun, too. My teenager cousins taught me that, too. I never played this before, either. It is a long table and it is so fun to listen to the balls drop in the holes. I like the sound the balls make when they hit each other. I wasn't so good at it at all. But it was still cool to do.

WHAT I LOVED ABOUT LEGOLAND:
Legoland is ultracool. I love the giftshop there. I bought a game that isn't in stores yet.

WHAT I LOVED ABOUT THE SAN DIEGO ZOO:
The zoo has cool animals we don't have here. Like a water cat that likes to swim in water. I love the giftshop there. I bought a stuffed animal I don't have at home.

WHAT I LOVED ABOUT THE BIRCH AQUARIUM:
I loved the cool feeding time in the big tank. I love the giftshop there. I got a glow in the dark angler fish T- shirt.

WHAT I LOVED ABOUT BALBOA PARK:
This place is so cool. It is all old buildings left over from when the World's Fair was in San Diego and now the buildings are all different museums. We went to the Fleet Kid's Interactive Science Museum and the giftshop there is the hardest to pick out something out from.The.Hardest.

I got a spider that you build and it crawls up walls there. I love the giftshop there the most.

I spent the whole day there because it was all "hands on." That's what you call it when you can touch stuff and play it. The signs said "hands on" but for some kids it should've said "hands off" because they'd come in and just run in and knock everything down then run out into another room. They reminded me of locusts, I told my mom.

I spent one hour! there building a tower that was 2 times taller than me that I had to stand on a bench and reach the top of it-- it was that tall.

Like when I stand on a park bench and STILL I'm not as tall as my grampa.

What is neat about vacations is going places and we all do stuff together and my dad isn't at work.

We still have to go to Door County to see my other cousins and then Wisconsin Dells that has the best giftshops ever because every single step you take is a giftshop!

Oh! The picture of me and my dad is at the top and it is me and my dad playing giant chess that was so much fun. This chess set you had to pick up the pieces with both hands and that made it fun. This was in downtown LaJolla and the store it is in front of had the neatest books that I didn't know I liked and we bought and I read on the airplane. It is the Stinky books. And there was a toy store, too, and me and my brother got paper robot kits to build robots with.

And I really love summer vacations.

OH! And when we were at a place called Torrey Pines there was an earthquake! The park guy said it was a 3 and lasted 15 seconds.

OH! AND A MONKEY PEED ON US AT THE ZOO!!!! My mom said they should at least have a warning sign, and if they won't do words then at least a picture of a monkey with yellow drops coming out on top of people.

Bye.

mum mum mum mah Muffintop....

Warning: you WILL spend your entire morning here, playing this over and over and over and OVER....

Happy Canada Day, my lovely Canadian bloggers! It's no secret I crush on Canadian bloggers, one in particular: TheMayor@CrazyTown. She has decreed Friday Funny link up a day earlier, so she can celebrate all things Canadian, and do what they do there on their special day, eh!

So, for the mayor, a day early: Friday Funny Link up with The Mayor on Thursday, showcasing this Lady Gaga goes suburban parody.

Lisa, of Smacksy, (I'm a daily reader there) runs a weekly feature called Smacksy Sunday Link, where I have been shown the neatest, coolest, most unique websites. How she finds them? Well, Lisa is a very cool mother of even cooler Bob. She steered me over to her in-real-life friend's place, Marija of mymomsanerd.blogspot.com (see blogroll, fantastic blog) where I found this genius video. The lyrics are hers, and are on her site, this video is all her brainchild. She is an incredibly talented woman.

A caution, though: You will not be able to get the song out of your head...."mummummumma mah Muffintop...I ain't bluffin'...with mah muffin....mah muffintop. I wanna button 'em like I did in old days..."

ENJOY. And Happy Canada Day to my favorite Canadians. I will try to be more like you, I know we're kinda tense down here....