This? More Than I Could Have Imagined

For others, there was greatness

Found and shown by their works of art

Hallowed high in chapels

And heard in melodies that flowed from music charts

But for me, what will others see 

To show that I am no less?

It is you

For you, my darling children,


are the masterpiece I'll leave,


The greatness that I longed  for, 


at last, I did, achieve.

                              ~author unknown

Acceptance Of The Ordinary

September has always been a month to be endured for me.

My birthday has always been a difficult event for me.

Autumn, with it's leaves falling from the trees and to the ground, does the same to me, strips me bare and to the core.

With all 3 occurring, always, at once?

It gets harder and harder to put my shoulder down and just plow through.

September means the end of days filled with sun, hours, and my children about me and within my reach.

My birthday means another year older, with less dreams realized, and the ticking of the clock marching on.

Autumn, with its trees left skeletal, has always reminded me that another year has also lost it's life, and is  coming to an end.

As I said, not.a.good.time for me.

And, I'm faced with the ordinariness.

Of me.

I am ordinary.

I had the dreams of any person for myself.

To write to the point where people reading my words would be able to feel my ache; to be able to dance a barefoot dance so exquisite that to those watching, the sound of the music would fall away; to be able to sing in the clearest voice that those listening would be left unable to move and only to sit, and listen, and not a thing more.

But my life has worked itself to be one of ordinariness. Where I have laid my dreams down.

I am an ordinary woman who stays home with her children.

There is no book that has my name on its cover, there is no ballet where I danced to the point of utter silence, there is no song that anyone heard me sing, that left them breathless.

But, then, I look at my children, and they are the song I didn't sing, the dance that never was, and the book that remains unwritten.

When I look in their eyes, I enter a plane of existence other than the 3 dimensional one we live in. There is no skin nor bone that separates us. 

When I catch their faces, turned at such an angle,  that for a split second where time stops, I see the ghost of my face in the curve of their cheek.

No matter how poetically written, or eloquently delivered, the account of my life is that of an ordinary woman. 

I am ordinary.

But am I?

Am I really?  [see below]

Tweet from Ree, ThePioneerWoman

Twitter, the great equalizer.

Gotcha!  * [my apologies if I had you goin' and played on your emotions and made you deeply concerned enough to leave something awesome on here for me......I can be obnoxious like that...I still do not like autumn, my birthday, or September--that doesn't change]
---------------------------------------------

Loneliness: Post at MomRenewal Project

I do love writing. It is 89% of the reason why I blog.

Today, I am proud to be featured at MomRenewal Project, where I write on loneliness.

Have there been times in your life, where you have felt lonely, as I have?

I hope you stop over at MomRenewal, and let us know what you did, and if you did, anything about that phase of your life.

I'd love to hear about it.

And, if you're new to MomRenewal, I know you'll find yourself signing up as a subscriber. Stacey has worked hard over there, to provide us with articles to renew, inspire, and rejuvenate. It's a lovely site that I visit every day, for the relatable writing I find there.

Thank you.  And I hope to see you there.

SuperModel On My Days Off

Who knew?
  

Yeah, well, I had my suspicions it was easy work, but who.actually.knew.

It is so craz-ee ease-ee to be a SuperModel.

Dana@Bungalow'56 told me it would be, showed me how ease-ee it would be, but this...THIS...

No.Way.



Of course, the agency wouldn't take me without  DollFace  as part of the deal. Here he is below. His part was a piece of cake.

Try it.

Tons of money in it, just like blogging.

Go. Now. Create your own SuperHighPayingSuperModel Career at photofunia.com.


Name Dropping is the only way to be in that world, so tell them Dana@Bungalow'56 sent you.

And, if you don't know Dana, you need to. And if you want to see her stunning daughter up at Times Square, stop over there. Dana'll point you to some beautiful photography websites on the internet, as well as treat you to her scrumptious photos and sweet as cherry pie posts.  She is all things humble, talented,  and real like that. [gushing.gushing..better stop embarrassing myself...again with the Canadians.]

Thanks, Dana, I had a blast.  And your daughter is perfection. You Canadians are always so dang cool.

And always two steps ahead of us.

Joyful Heart Foundation. Please Help Us.

About this blog carnival: “The world I want for my children” is an effort to support The Joyful Heart Foundation, which was founded by Law & Order: SVU actress Mariska Hargitay to help victims of sexual assault mend their minds, bodies and spirits and reclaim their lives.  Today, the foundation is at the forefront of an effort to end a disheartening backlog of tens of thousands of rape kits in labs across the country, a backlog that contributes to a rapist’s 80 percent chance of getting away with his crime.  The backlog and its detrimental effects will be the topic of an SVU episode on September 29^th.
Please help us raise awareness for this important work.  What kind of world do you want for your children? Write your post and link up here.
------------------------------------------------------ 

The World I Want For My Children 

Sometimes the tears come to my eyes when I see how hard it can be for you to follow the standards your father and I have put before you,  our three boys, the ones we have asked you to live by.

Since you were born, I have been whispering in your ears,  "You were created, because God's world demanded your place in it."

I want you to believe that you were made because this world required your presence in it.

I see how hard this is, to go against the grain of everyone and everything else you see. I see how you work to rise above all that is around you, that we won't let you be part of. I'm not blind, I know the self control it takes to not lash out and do back what sometimes is done to you. But that's not how we live.

Believe me, I am not blind to your efforts, and I see how you remember "who you are, and Whose you are."

I can't change what the world is, and what it has become. I can pray and wish and only tell you, that I wish it were different. That I wish there were no pain, no unfairness, no injustice, no crimes done against each other.  But, we talk about everything with you, and you know that this ugliness exists in the world.

The rule we live by, and the rule we've taught all of you, is,  "in everything, do to others as you would have them do to you."  I know, no easy task. It means feeling that things are not fair, that others don't care how they hurt you or that they hurt you. You may even think that I don't care about what you tell me.

I do care. It hurts me very much. Don't you see the pain in my eyes when I listen to you tell me how hard it is that you know you can't do back what others may do to you? Don't you see? Look closer next time, I hear you. My pain is there, too, behind my silent listening. 

Living the way we do is hard on me, too, as your mother.

Since you were old enough to understand words, the 3 that we've taught you to memorize are, "kindness, kindness, kindness." We would repeat these words over to you, until they came automatically in your conversations.

I tell you this because there is a story about a day at the park, when you were about 3, and we had brought your favorite toy trucks along to play with.  There was a little boy who suddenly showed up out of nowhere and grabbed your yellow and blue shovel and ran off with it. You stood up on your little chubby legs and ran after him shouting, "kineness! kineness! kineness!" My heart felt like a 50 lb weight in my chest at that moment, to see you expecting that little boy to know what you meant by your words.  

Our family believes we are here to make things better for whoever crosses our paths. We have taught you to ask yourselves, "am I a blessing in this person's life." 

You may not think that what we've taught you matters right now, but, my beautiful boys, you have to believe us; it is the ONLY thing that matters in the life we've been given.

Well, go along now. Get on with your days.  Be quieter, humbler, kinder.

Tomorrow, many many more tomorrows from now, you will see the blessings of a life well lived.

We want a world for you, where you will not be ashamed of who you are, and of what you've done.  We want a world for you, where you look back on your life and can see, why this world needed you in it.

*Every Post linking up to Joyful Heart Foundation brings the backlog of kits closer to an end.*