Monday, September 27, 2010

Joyful Heart Foundation. Please Help Us.

About this blog carnival: The world I want for my children” is an effort to support The Joyful Heart Foundation, which was founded by Law & Order: SVU actress Mariska Hargitay to help victims of sexual assault mend their minds, bodies and spirits and reclaim their lives.  Today, the foundation is at the forefront of an effort to end a disheartening backlog of tens of thousands of rape kits in labs across the country, a backlog that contributes to a rapist’s 80 percent chance of getting away with his crime.  The backlog and its detrimental effects will be the topic of an SVU episode on September 29th.
Please help us raise awareness for this important work.  What kind of world do you want for your children? Write your post and link up here.
------------------------------------------------------ 


The World I Want For My Children 

Sometimes the tears come to my eyes when I see how hard it can be for you to follow the standards your father and I have put before you,  our three boys, the ones we have asked you to live by.

Since you were born, I have been whispering in your ears,  "You were created, because God's world demanded your place in it."

I want you to believe that you were made because this world required your presence in it.

I see how hard this is, to go against the grain of everyone and everything else you see. I see how you work to rise above all that is around you, that we won't let you be part of. I'm not blind, I know the self control it takes to not lash out and do back what sometimes is done to you. But that's not how we live.

Believe me, I am not blind to your efforts, and I see how you remember "who you are, and Whose you are."

I can't change what the world is, and what it has become. I can pray and wish and only tell you, that I wish it were different. That I wish there were no pain, no unfairness, no injustice, no crimes done against each other.  But, we talk about everything with you, and you know that this ugliness exists in the world.

The rule we live by, and the rule we've taught all of you, is,  "in everything, do to others as you would have them do to you."  I know, no easy task. It means feeling that things are not fair, that others don't care how they hurt you or that they hurt you. You may even think that I don't care about what you tell me.

I do care. It hurts me very much. Don't you see the pain in my eyes when I listen to you tell me how hard it is that you know you can't do back what others may do to you? Don't you see? Look closer next time, I hear you. My pain is there, too, behind my silent listening. 

Living the way we do is hard on me, too, as your mother.

Since you were old enough to understand words, the 3 that we've taught you to memorize are, "kindness, kindness, kindness." We would repeat these words over to you, until they came automatically in your conversations.

I tell you this because there is a story about a day at the park, when you were about 3, and we had brought your favorite toy trucks along to play with.  There was a little boy who suddenly showed up out of nowhere and grabbed your yellow and blue shovel and ran off with it. You stood up on your little chubby legs and ran after him shouting, "kineness! kineness! kineness!" My heart felt like a 50 lb weight in my chest at that moment, to see you expecting that little boy to know what you meant by your words.  

Our family believes we are here to make things better for whoever crosses our paths. We have taught you to ask yourselves, "am I a blessing in this person's life." 

You may not think that what we've taught you matters right now, but, my beautiful boys, you have to believe us; it is the ONLY thing that matters in the life we've been given.

Well, go along now. Get on with your days.  Be quieter, humbler, kinder.

Tomorrow, many many more tomorrows from now, you will see the blessings of a life well lived.

We want a world for you, where you will not be ashamed of who you are, and of what you've done.  We want a world for you, where you look back on your life and can see, why this world needed you in it.





*Every Post linking up to Joyful Heart Foundation brings the backlog of kits closer to an end.*

58 comments:

  1. Thanx for joining over on my blog, had to pop over and do likewise and be a part of your great Empire. Love that Baby E posts, my daughter has a blog called Wise Words By Wiki (we homeschool too, I figure it counts for creative writing and stops her looking over my shoulder when I write mine!)
    Pop in often, stay awhile to read and of course tell all of your friends ...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I tell my daughter the hard things, the true things too. No matter what.

    To seek to only do to others what you would have done to you is a hard thing, but very worth it.

    I see in your words lives lived fully and intentionally. That is a beautiful thing.

    Thank you for raising your voice to speak up for survivors.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aww Empress! This post made me cry. You have a beautiful spirit and it just shows in your words. God bless you and may The Joyful Heart Foundation go on to change a million lives world over. I'll be praying.

    ReplyDelete
  4. smiles. sounds like a wonderful worldview...making it better for those whose paths we cross...nice write empress...

    ReplyDelete
  5. That is so sweet!! I hope the same for my children.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am rarely compelled to print out blog entries, but here I am, compelled to do just that. Parenting is hard, and sometimes we don't get to be buddies or be seen as cool. But we are building cathedrals nevertheless.

    Bravo, Alexandra. Great post, as always.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This was so very lovely...
    I especially love this: "We have taught you to ask yourselves, "am I a blessing in this person's life." "
    I'm taking that with me this morning... thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Beautiful, Alexandra. I wrote just about my daughter because I couldn't even wrap my brain around all I want for my son. Raising boys into men is such a challenge. You've got three good ones.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Remember "who you are, and Whose you are."

    Exactly.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Excellent, dear one, as always.

    It aches, sometimes, the wanting.

    We want SO MUCH for them to be who we want them to be, and for the world to treat them kindly.

    And under the wanting is the years of hard work, and the teaching without teaching...

    To grow people who will help make the world what we want it to be.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Beautifully stated. I think this will strike a chord with all parents.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Beautiful sentiment. Beautiful young men.

    Really.

    Now - what did you do to break your nose???

    ReplyDelete
  13. His future wife will have you to thank you,
    Dana

    ReplyDelete
  14. What a beautiful entry, Empress! And a fantastic cause too!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Another powerful post, and very well said. I'm very moved by your words, and I especially loved the part where you say:

    Our family believes we are here to make things better for whoever crosses our paths. We have taught you to ask yourselves, "am I a blessing in this person's life."

    Stunning. love it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. we have a chalkboard in our house, in the dining room, where i write little notes. 'be quieter, humbler, kinder' is going there.

    love you, mama.

    ReplyDelete
  17. "Whose you are." So important. Wonderful words.

    Think how incredible this world would be if every parent took their role as seriously. I promise to keep trying. My boys deserve that.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I remember when you told me this the first time, "Who you are and Whose you are."
    I remember that all the time.

    Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  19. These are the reasons I blog. Causes like these and spreading real life awareness. Just awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  20. That was a beautiful post and so heartfelt. And the picture of you and your boys...love it.

    ReplyDelete
  21. My favorite part..."Look closer next time, I hear you. My pain is there, too, behind my silent listening." So very true, so much of mothering seems to come down to a listen, a wish, and many prayers.

    This is very touching, Empress. I sure do like coming over to visit you.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Absolutely beautiful post. It is so clear that you are raising strong, confident, and kind boys. Not an easy task and yet you are mindful of it everyday. It isn't always easy to be kind and humble. You are giving your children a precious gift. You are a strong woman and Mother. What a blessing you are to them and no doubt, what a blessing you all are and will be to the world. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  23. This was powerful and eloquent and lovely. It really made me think about what I want for my son.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Your words are lovely. I love that you could express it so beautifully. One day, your boys will read this and truly understand it. And probably give it to their children as well.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Alexandra, this was so beautifully eloquent. Your boys are so very lucky to have you as a mother. Reading your posts constantly reminds me to be the best mother I can be. I love the phrase "you were made because this world required your presence in it."

    ReplyDelete
  26. Since I couldn't stop crying thru your poignantly beautiful post, I'm not sure I could write one of my own! And it would only echo your sentiments, though not nearly so wonderfully as you've done...

    **sniff** (( hugs ))

    ReplyDelete
  27. touching! thanks for stopping by:)

    ReplyDelete
  28. That was just so beautifully stated.

    ReplyDelete
  29. This really struck a chord with me. I used to work in a Children's Hospital ER and we would have at least 1 rape case per week. (Mind you we see children up to 18 so some of these were older. Nonetheless, it is sick and disgusting) Anyways, we would do the kits and there was no special spot to put them. They ended up ontop of a shelf above our photocopy machine.

    They would pile up...collect dust...until some one from the police department came by to pick them up. It was so sad. In those boxes were someone's innocense...someone's heartache...and there they were, piled up and forgotten.

    I am so glad that you are spreading this word!

    The letter to your boys is very moving. I hope you tuck that letter away for them.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Wow. Just found you through Life Without Pink, but I think with that post, I may be your newest follower.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Ditto!!! When my boys come across situations that challenge them, I try to teach them that it is a call to prayer. What does God want you to get out of it? Knowing by whom and what they were created for helps them understand. Beautifully done mother of sons!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I struggle with teaching "the golden rule" to my son every day. It's not easy.

    Also, I just instinctively typed sons. I'm not sure if it's because of your boys or because...well...the universe is trying to tell me something?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Your posts never disappoint and the same is true of this one. You have a wonderful gift with words. I hope your sons are reading this post today and realize in turn what a blessing you are.

    ReplyDelete
  34. You? Make me cry; both tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

    So happy you are helping others. Your family is beautiful!

    I will write an extra post today and link. Thank you, Empress...

    XO

    ReplyDelete
  35. Your family is beautiful, as are you my friend. Your writing and spirit never cease to amaze me!!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Just beautiful! Save this for your boys to read again when they're men.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Wow. That was beautiful. I'm crying here. Your sons are blessed to have a mother like you

    ReplyDelete
  38. Oh my goodness, you are making me tear up here at work. Beautiful post. So lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Thanks for reminding me how I have to do this everyday. And even when it's hard.

    ReplyDelete
  40. This is the hardest thing. I wish I had been nicer as a kid and I try every day to remind Julia to "do unto others". I'm so glad there are others in the world with the same philosophy. Maybe the we'll all be okay after all.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Lovely as usual. Also, you look nothing like I pictured in my head. I kept imposing the royal headdress and such... ;) Nice to SEE you!

    ReplyDelete
  42. This is one of the most beautiful posts I have ever read. I read a lot of blogs, and while I do not always take as much time as I should to comment on some regularly, this simply stole my breath away.

    This: "We want a world for you, where you will not be ashamed of who you are, and of what you've done. We want a world for you, where you look back on your life and can see, why this world needed you in it."

    This is simply perfection. Thank you for your words.

    ReplyDelete
  43. OK, I came over here to be a smart ass, and now am confronted with your beautiful and inspiring words. Sigh. You are all lovely and fabulous.

    I will have to come back another time to harass you.

    A time when you are not all sparkly and perfect.

    Annoying.

    Love you.

    ReplyDelete
  44. You really do have the most beautiful children. Just like their mother - awww! Don't you love it when I get all sappy? Just commented at Tracie's that I love what people are writing for the Joyful Heart Foundation. What better way to counter a negative than with a positive? Love it when your posts are so raw.

    ReplyDelete
  45. A very amazing post. And it relly makes you think. I just really loved it!

    Also, love the pic!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Where do you link up? Is it too late to write a post?
    Wow. I watched the episode last night. i can't believe the backlog. Dang.
    That's not good.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I think that's a wonderful thing to teach your children - and the basis for an extraordinary life. I forgot to write one of these...too caught up in my own drama. I'm very sorry about that.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I had no idea The Joyful Heart Foundation even existed. So first, I thank you for creating awareness. I can't wait to participate in creating my own world I want for my chidren post. Secondly, this was just an awe inspiring entry. Our families, hopes, and dreams sound so similar. And this sentence, "You were created, because God's world demanded your place in it." Well, that just takes my breath away. I'm jealous you've been whispering first, but I'll be stealing it now. You have a very lucky, blessed family.

    ReplyDelete
  49. This was truly a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing your joyful heart!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Very well said. Your boys are lucky to have you guide them, but I know, as parents, we can only do so much. The rest is really up to them...and the world in which they live. And sadly, there's not much that's in our control when it comes to that. It's disheartening. But it's also reality.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Beautiful sentiments all. I dream therefore I am.

    ReplyDelete
  52. What a beautiful post. Praying your kids get what it is you're trying to do. :)

    ReplyDelete
  53. I love Divine Synchronicity. Thanks to Karen, I discovered this inspiring post right after posting mine about loving our neighbours. Reading about the values and principals that you are sharing with your family is a joy! Thanks for contributing to the positive and loving side of life. The Kineness!

    ReplyDelete
  54. I think I know about the distresses you are talking about and I admire you for being so, so strong and adamant about not resorting to other's levels and just maintaining your own code of behavior. And I admire your sons for doing so. My husband believes in karma, and always reminds me of it whenever someone is unkind to my son. In time, the kindness will be rewarded. We have to keep believing that. You're a wonderful mother, Alexandra.

    ReplyDelete
  55. This is such a beautiful post. You are an incredible mother, no doubt, and your kids are so blessed to have you. You are also a wonderful writer and an inspiration to moms everywhere. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. This is truly wonderful.

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails