Monday, October 10, 2011

How Kids Can Pick Out Good Games To Play

Me and my brother, Xavier

Monday, Baby E Post Day.  Today, he and his brother, have tips for your kids on how to shop the Bargain Bin for Video Games, Wii games, Nintendo games. I always wondered how they knew what to get, just by me holding up a $5.99 game box and asking, "this one, boys?" "Mom! No! Look at the box!" Here, the secrets to how they know:

*new to Baby E? Read more about him here

It's me, Baby E.

My mom takes us to buy games and we look through the Bargain boxes. She'll hold up a box and say, "How do you guys know what to get, maybe it's a good game, how do you know it's not?"

Because, mom, here is why we know:

  • Anyone can make a game. That's why some are dumb.
  •  If they misspell words like Enneymy, that's not a good game.
  • Usually, $4.99s are bad. Sometimes the $9.99s aren't too bad. The $15.99s are the luckiest.
  • Fake quotes on the back will tell you if it's bad. Like "Captain Smith says Smooth Sailing!" and "Major Jones says Victory is yours!"
  • If they show just pictures of the characters, but no game levels pictures, it's bad. It's just a screensaver for $4.99 then.
  • Don't buy dumb titles, like "Tank Builder Blow Up Guys." Because the game will be one tank that you blow up and that's all.
  • If it's a 1/2 star review, not even a full star, it's a bad game.
  • If it says, be the first to review this game! It's a bad game.
  • We have to tell you again to not buy dumb titles: like "Vehicular Combat." Titles are the biggest clue. My mom can't get that.
  • When you see a game you might want, always ask the helper in the store how long the game is. Because if it has 40 hours of playing time, that is a GOOD GAME. Get it. You want a long story to play.
  • $4.99s last two seconds.
  • Two Player games are good. Party Games are bad. Especially if the box says, "WooHoo! Have fun with all your friends with this Party Game!" The more fun they try to make it sound like the more you know they're trying to get you to buy it.
  • Really don't listen if they say on the box, "Addictive!" and "Can't stop!" and "You won't put it down!"
  • Some lame party game titles are, "CampFire Story SmackDown." Don't get it, even if your mom tries to get you to buy it and says, "but this sounds like so much fun!"

The biggest clues are:

  • Wienie comments like, "It'll make you explode from fun!" and "It'll give you enough courage to climb Mt. Everest!" 

  • Cheesy graphics. When it's a 2D picture trying to look 3D.

  • Extremely cartoony. Like it's trying to have too much fun on the box.
  • ALL MARIO GAMES ARE GOOD. If you see a Mario game on sale, probably not, BUT IF YOU DO YOU SHOULD BUY IT.
  • One main character maximized on the cover and nothing else on the cover with it. Like ONE GIANT CHESS piece. That is a lame game. My mom still won't believe us. Like there is a picture of ONE HUGE CHESS piece on the cover of the ChessMasters Nintendo game she got us. That was so bad. 

  • Fake names are bad. Like "Transbotters" and "Robotformers" or "Powerbots" or "Megaformers." Then they say, "Play MegaFormer and transform into a Roboton!" It's a trick to make you think it's a Transformers game. Real Transformers will say TRANSFORMERS.

  • The games your mom thinks will be fun are not. There is a game called "Paper Boy Defender" and it says "Get your papers delivered before the Evil Paper Robber stops you!" Your mom will like this game. Don't Get It.
  • The biggest clue is the name: like DomeBuilder. PirateFish. DetectiveBug. SargeantDog.

  • When you look for games in the Clearance Bin, dig to the bottom. The good ones are sometimes stuck in the cracks on the bottom. (once my brother lifted me up and I fell in and that was funny.)

I am sorry to say that the most expensive games are the best. That's why they cost so much. They are good.


Next week I want to tell you snippets of the good week I had this week.

Your kids can write these ideas down and take them to the store with them.


  1. your mom will likethis game...dont get it...hahaha...this was a riot e! I am in agreement on most. $14.99 does seem like the lucky price...we are currently playing mySims Secret Agents and enjoying it...actually everyone of us (my wife included are playing.

    it is too bad about Paperboy Defender...I think we could turn that concept into a much cooler game.

    enjoy playing e and have a great week.


  2. What kind of titles are you picking? How to make a perfect flower arrangement?

    I'm sorry, Baby E, that your mama doesn't pick good games.

  3. I love these tips! They are going to come in very handy for Christmas shopping!

  4. Very good advice Baby E. I woould be a sucker for Vehicular Combat for sure! You know what else? This part, "Like it's trying to have too much fun on the box." is the funniest thing I've heard all week! Thank you : )

  5. I think your child and my child may be the same child. Does he disappear for a few days at a time saying he's going to the library and then he comes back with tired thumbs? Hmmm.

  6. I think that should be taught in parenting classes, so we don't waste money of bad games for gifts!

  7. OMG PAPER BOY! There is nothing wrong with Paper Boy!

    Um, yeah.

    Maybe this is why I don't pick out my kids' video games.

  8. Baby E this is very helpful. Thank you.

    Except we don't own any game equipment. We don't let our kids play and they are 7, 5 1/2 and 3. Are we mean parents? :-)

  9. Oh that Baby E , he is so in the know!!!! We have a Wii that we never ever play...maybe I should start..and with boys in myhouse, I think one of them will have to be my Baby E!!!! Dover this weekend my 32 yr old brother thinks I'm lame. We were talking about TV and how I watch (and love) Glee...and think it's popular....he says "well it is with 40 yr old women and 9 yr old vgirls" he looks right at me and realizes ooops are a 40 yr old woman. I almost smacked him with my cane. Sheesh! :)

  10. Thank you for the tips! My nephews always want games for Christmas. Now I know what to avoid.

  11. Baby E, my husband would approve of all your tips, he's a big gamer and he used to work in a game shop when he was a teenager. He did tell me once about stupid titles = stupid games.

    I'd need to remember all these if I want to get him a good game.

  12. "ALL MARIO GAMES ARE GOOD" Your son has excellent taste.

    Some great advice for buying games.

  13. I had my son read this out loud to me - he's 10 and said those are very good tips, he agreed with the Mario games and said moms are not good picker outers of games...also he laughed about you falling in the bargain bin :)

  14. You are so right Baby E. I totally get it. Luckily my kids haven't figured this out yet. Mario games ARE good!

  15. You should absolutely write a Christmas gift-buying guide. We NEED your wisdom, Baby E!

  16. What GREAT information Baby sure know your games! I'm not good at picking games, so this is a big help!

  17. This is great - and all Mario games are generally good! :)

  18. These tips are awesome! And I'm sorry, but that camp fire story smackdown game sounds like a lot of fun... I'm with your mom on that one :) But not so much the ghetto version of Paperboy.

    Good tips. Thanks for sharing!

  19. You've convinced me... my kids are getting gift certificates to the game place - because I am afraid I've picked up one too many of the party games for my kids to ever trust me again.

  20. I came home tonight, and Baby E excitedly told me that he had over 15 comments.

    He really feels he is doing so many PSA's here. Lat week, warning you of the shyster who wants your money, and this week: letting you know what not to buy your children.

    He is so serious about this space, and I just love it.

    Thank you, all, for your kindness, and time, toward him.

  21. Baby E, you and my son would get along so well. All great tips and he would approve of every one!

  22. i am printing off this list immediately. Just in time for Christmas! I am going to rock the game bargain bins. Boo yaa.

  23. I will have to remember this when mine gets to video game buying age. I find that many of the same rules apply to books in the bargain bin.

  24. Your mom will like this game - don't get it: Baby E. you crack me up! Love this post.

    And I concur. Mario games rock. I remember the original from back in the day. That's how old I am.

    Have fun gaming!

  25. Ahhhh, yes, Baby E, you speak the truth! My brother is super into video games and I'm pretty sure he's listed a good portion of these reasons too. This is why I give him money now and not try and buy a game.

    So funny! My favorite line: The games your mom thinks will be fun are not. There is a game called "Paper Boy Defender" and it says "Get your papers delivered before the Evil Paper Robber stops you!" Your mom will like this game. Don't Get It.

  26. Oh my gosh. Too funny. I think I need to print this to show my husband and his best friend. They both love video games, and they never like any of the ones I think sound fun.

    Baby E should be in advertising. I see a future as a consultant/video game tester at a tech company.

  27. Baby E SHOULD be in advertising. He has a bright future, for sure.

  28. Thank you, all of you.

    I can't tell you how Baby E loves these comments.

    He wants to say, "just tell people to not buy their kids the games."

  29. Thank you for the tips Baby-E.
    I look forward to more.
    I have a boyfriend and a nephew who constantly want xbox games.

  30. The only thing I can add here is that most of the games I play are on the computer (it's been awhile since I fired up my 360 . . . heck, it's been awhile since I've done anything remarkably close to playing a game), and you can find a lot of great, albeit old, games in the bargain bin.

    Then again, you can download them for free if you know where to look . . . not that I'd advocate any quasi-legal stuff....

  31. Beware of the weinie comments nd fake it! I think you are well on your way to writing an awesome holiday shopping guide for clueless parents!



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