Monday, June 11, 2012

Day One Summer Vacation: a Twitter Play-by-Play



Times of transition can be desperate times. Re-acclimating and getting to know each other again. My three kids were home last Friday for their first day of summer vacation. And it was, as my brilliant youngest boy explained, "we're like boxers figuring each other out before we decide what we can do."

Absolutely. The first day of summer vacation. I made it through, but not without my twitter. My twitter that saved me from losing that last grip I had on sanity and running out into my cul-de-sac, naked and babbling, a la Anne Heche. 

Here we have #Day1 of summer vacation, deconstruction style and documented on twitter: smile smugly or nod in relatability as you read and watch my not so slow descent into madness: 


Just discovered guarantee to get kids to wash hands after they go to the bathroom: google and show Full Size Image of E Coli bacteria.
 

Why do I continue to be shocked each time DS, 9, tells me he cleaned his room in 10 mins & I go check & find it all shoved under the bed?

Said they'd get jobs if they kept fighting:& now I'm sitting here amazed that they sweep like they're pushing a dust broom at a car factory.

 
So, I'm finally seeing all the notes sent home from school that I never saw as I empty out 3 boys' backpacks. summer vacation


Summer Vacation and cries from upstairs of  "mama! He's shooting at me with pretend lasers!"

of summer and obviously I need to teach the kids a new language b/c they sure don't understand me in this 1st one:
And b/c of my screaming on , DS, 9 comes downstairs wearing his chain Pirate necklace with skull on it: "to protect me from you today."

Already made 15 bucks. RT : of summer vacation & already blown my gasket: $5.00 fine for next person who says my name.

of summer vacation and I've already blown my gasket and put a $5.00 moratorium on my name. Next person who says it pays up.
Not even 24hrs into of summer vacation and we're already at Dr.'s office: soccer cleat to right shin.

has been spent w/ 2 teens laughing at me for what I think is brilliance on my part: Vball knee pads on to wash floors.

Teens laughing as I pull over--again-- to that GD music with sirens in the song.

#DAY1 Telling kids about the "there are starving kids in India" as they complain of cereal for lunch. 

Deep breaths: of summer vacation & think I'm going to lose my mind from three hours of "Which Transformer would you want to be?" talk.
 

"Mama, would u rather get a 1,000 paper cuts then fall into some Purell or shove a rock down ur throat?"question of the day  summer vacation

Having to step up game as kids hear neighbors across street had Ramen Noodles for lunch.


Serving cereal for lunch,#Day1 Summer Vacation: DS, 9: "No offense, but, is this what summer's going to be like?" *only with bloggy moms*



And how did you all survive?? 
____________________________________________

In love with my slick parenting style? You can follow my weekly parenting column at milwaukeemoms.com

32 comments:

  1. Seriously. My older girls only went to MDO twice a week and I miss those two half days like crazy. I'm glad that I'm not the only one openly dealing with hitting (theirs) and yelling (mine), although you have crushed my dreams that it will get better as they get older.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, it never gets better.

      Only different.

      xo

      Delete
  2. Know what finally got Carter to wash his hands? My dad got a KIDNEY INFECTION from E COLI on his SKIN. No kidding! He went to donate blood and they didn't clean his arm well enough and they put the E Coli INTO HIS BLOOD.

    Sorry. Was I shouting? It was really terrible. Plus this: when you donate blood, make sure they clean your arm double. I now make them let me do it myself before they do it.

    Wanna trade kids for a few weeks? Yours would probably listen great to me, and I just know that Carter would think you were fabulously tremendously wonderful, so win/win!

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    Replies
    1. OOOOH ::fiendlishly rubbing hands together::

      Lemme call the boys down. "BOYS! GOOD STORY HERE!"

      (thanks, doll)

      Delete
  3. I need a drink after reading your tweets... I feel your pain.

    Luckily (and 'sadly' at the same time) my kids live with their mom. I don't go through the hell she does, yet... I wish I did...

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  4. I missed all these on Twitter so I'm glad you reprinted them. I think this had better be a regular blog series!

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    Replies
    1. Such a good ideas, Suzy. Thank you.

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  5. So, which Transformer do you want to be?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some days I feel like Bumblebee, some days it's Optimus.

      xo

      Delete
  6. I'm not there yet. I have 1 more glorious week. And then I planned a mammo to get more writing time. Is that bad? That's bad, right?

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  7. ugh...i hate music with sirens in it...it gets me every time...cleats to the shin...no fun...only a few months to go...smiles.

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  8. My girls are in school until noon on Thursday. They're home (well, a few days with grandparents, a few days with their aunt) but then it's camp. I've changed my schedule so that I can work 7-4 with every other Monday off. I am forcing myself to see the bright side: at least there'll be that Monday. Your boy turning to the pirate skull for protection is hilarious. At least you haven't resorted to yelling, "Stop yelling!" yet...or have you?

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  9. Our summer vacation does not start until June 29th, but your post was like a deja vu from last year... my son just threw all this crap ON the bed and claimed that he was done cleaning up, the rest is pretty much the same...

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  10. LOVE! Particularly "to protect me from you today". Ha!

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  11. Mine are grown, but this does bring back memories!

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  12. I wonder if I will survive that :(

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  13. Day 3 and we are still hitting each other. Lord help us all.

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  14. Coffee by day, wine by night . . . isn't that how all of the parents survive?

    And I'm horribly disheartened to hear that the hitting doesn't go away, I was so very hopeful that CJ would just grow out of this phase, especially once he was able to actually ask for the things he wants.

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  15. Hold on HOLD ON! We're supposed to WASH our FLOORS?

    #dammit

    XOXO

    A.

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  16. We haven't started yet. Three more weeks of school and I have to say, your first day sounds delightful. Except for the blood part.

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  17. Around here, we are surviving poorly. Very poorly.

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  18. these are hilarious. i am seriously, after 5 years at this party, thinking about figuring out twitter. you are my motivation! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anna, my dear Anna: I have BEEN BEGGING you to get on twitter for months now.

      made the BIGGEST difference in my life: really, a friend within reach at all times.

      I wish you'd get on board...it's so much fun. And so unlonely. xo

      Delete
  19. Ha Ha! We do cereal for lunch, too. I want to do it for dinner - I'm almost there.

    I'm surviving. Summer vacation started two weeks ago for us, and already I'm hiding in my bedroom in half hour increments just to get some peace. Only problem: my boys know where the bedroom is and keeping coming in. Arggh!

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  20. I LOVE your tweets. And you moms are myu heroes.

    Hang in there!

    xo

    @thatgalkiki

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, you are so sweet: Yes, twitter, saves many a mom's mind on a daily...nay, hourly...basis.

      Delete
  21. see the upside of homeschooling year around is when they are annoying, you threaten with more math ;)

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  22. "to protect me from you today." That is hilarious! Like garlic and a cross if you were a vampire. This made me laugh. Oh, summer break...I want it and I dread it.

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  23. You make me laugh always. That boy with the pirate necklace... I feel like he's learned a thing or two from his momma :) Here's hoping the rest of summer vaca goes without any more trips to the doctor's office.

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  24. Am I in denial to hope that if I work full time I'll never have to enjoy the horrors or summer vacation?

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  25. Is it wrong that I'm hyperventilating a wee bit? Only a half day left between me, Mooch and summer vacation. Just a little tense, here. Gonna go breathe into a lunch bag.

    ReplyDelete

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