Tuesday, June 4, 2013

10 Things I Did Right This Month!



I really should call this "!0 Things I Did Right! This Month!," because! I did something right!

Shocker.

Years and years ago, I learned a few tricks that I still keep in my back pocket, so I  can pull them out to use after the kind of weeks that feel more like they're months. The wise dispenser of this universal knowledge was my then therapist -- she would listen with her chin resting on the heels of both her hands, while I sat in her office that felt more like a living room, and tell her about my life.

"... and and (hic sob) and... i just can't take on anymore, you know? (hic)"

"... oh, that just ... sounds like SO much. You really are doing so much."

"... i... i... i know. and i'm tired." (knocks over mugful of pens on her desk grabbing for kleenex)

She was so smart, she knew what I needed was someone to hear my lamentations and to not offer advice. Her words were like honey down a sore throat, I lapped up her syrupy medicine by the eager spoonful.  "You need a break." "My gosh, how do you do it all?" "Is there anything you can't do?" Such music to my ears.

Yup, some mighty fine days in the sun right there. Until said Dr. developed psychotherapist burnout.  Buh-bye Wisconsin and your soul-crushing winters, hello rejuvenating Arizona with your healing rays.

But this treasure of a human being left me with something ever eternal: several use-to-the-day-I-die bits of advice that I have also passed on to my children.

Behold, Dr. Suzanne's glistening pearls of wisdom:

1.  You don't have to be wrong for others to be right.

2.  Accept yourself for who you are, and live that life joyfully.

3.  Eat right, sleep enough, get out once a day.

4.  Be careful with the music you hear and the words you read.

5.  Wear a rubber band on your wrist, snap it every time you think a negative thought about yourself and then immediately replace that thought with a positive one.

6. And one of my favorites: If something was hard to do, don't wait for someone to say good job, YOU tell yourself *good job.*


I call this week a "good job, Alexandra!!" double exclamation point phase of life right now.

Had to call in the big guns more than once in May and remind myself to give out that pat on the back for work that I did manage to do, and forget about the two-thirds things that didn't move any closer off the to-do list than when they were on last month's to-do list.

Celebrate with me, won't you, my friends, and read along to my list of 10 things! I did right this month:

  • Hauled off a vanful of toys, shoes, books, games, clothes to Goodwill.
  • Cleaned, repaired, pressed, donated, school uniform items for kids that aren't able to buy a uniform when they outgrow their old ones.
  • Saw my mother several times this week. I never lose my patience when she asks me ten times in three minutes where the kids are. 

         "Where are they?"

         "In school."
 
         "Oh. Where are they?" 

  • Got it together at the last minute and hellyeah just made it into the neighborhood rummage sale. Reduce clutter, increase home zen.
  •  Wrote a stack of long overdue thank you letters.
  •  Vacuumed and cleaned the minivan!
  •  Cooked dinner at least four times per week.
  •  Said what the heck and laughed in the face of stacked dishes and laundry and went with the three boys to see Star Trek Into Darkness.
  •  Made a meal for a family of three boys whose mother just had surgery.
  • Starting at 7:30 a.m. one day this week, I went out to our front yard and had at it. We no longer look like the only haunted house in the subdivision.

There is still a lot I didn't do that I need to do before the kids are home for summer vacation BUT I did do some stuff, and doing some stuff is how you one by one knock the items off the list.

Am I right? Or am I right?

Wait, I can't hear you, can you say it louder, please?

GOOD JOB, ALEXANDRA!

Aw, I know. 

Thank you.

* * *



45 comments:

  1. Dr Suzanne's advice is awesome.
    So are you - GOOD JOB!! xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Time is our enemy, I'm growing tired of fighting it.

      Delete
  2. good job alexandria...
    smiles.

    i feel you.
    2 days left.
    well i have 4
    but...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol--AMAZING job, Alexandra! Do you know, sometimes I write things on my 'to do' list at the END of the day, after I've done them--just so I can cross them off with a pat on my back. The "invisibles," I call them; the things no one in their right mind will EVER notice...took out the trash for the WHOLE house, filled every hand soap pump, restocked toilet paper in all bathrooms, removed smudges from hall walls....vacuumed stairs. And once in a while, I'll purposely leave that list lying on the dining room table. Damn near had a heart attack of joy the day I heard from the kitchen my husband say, "Boys, come here and look at how much your mother did for you today..." xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good job!

    I allowed myself to sit still and watch an entire movie without getting up and doing any laundry or dishes or dusting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you.

      It was good to see, I did do TEN THINGS.

      I need to come and catch up, see how you are, my friend.

      Delete
  5. That is awesome! I am making a new summer policy to leave dishes stacked in the sink when a chance for something fun arises.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm the first! I'm the first!

    GOOD JOB ALEXANDRA! Those truly are huge accomplishments right there. Now I'm going to go butter myself up with my accomplishments because I've been feeling down lately.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sweet Jennie, write up a list. I'll come over and "Good Job Jennie!" all over the place. xo

      Delete
  7. GOOD JOB, ALEXANDRA!! And Dr. Suzanne sounds like a genius. I like #1 a lot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really liked her.

      I was so shocked when she left.

      Delete
  8. "GOOD JOB ALEXANDRA!" "WAY TO GO!" *pat pat

    ReplyDelete
  9. Good job indeed and your therapist offered some great rules to live by. I try to follow a similar plan and it really makes a difference.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've had those months of stasis, where it feels nothing gets accomplished. I try to limit myself to 12 of them a year, but sometimes I overachieve a little and manage 14 or 15 of them.

    And the attagirls? I do that too. It's sometimes the only way to drag a smile out of myself. "You brushed your teeth before bedtime three days in a row! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!"

    We've got awesome cheering squads, donchaknow.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Good job, Empress! That list would make me proud of myself if I'd accomplished it in a month. And the things you did that benefitted others, like the school uniforms, those are worth pats on the back whenever you're feeling low, because they're going to help people out long after you forget about the task. Yes to you! And thanks for the therapist tips. I am going to get a rubber band as soon as I finish typing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're so sweet, Carrie. I need to come catch up with you, but really, taking care of my mom is beyond words as far as my time has disappeared.

      Delete
  12. WAY TO GO!! I know what you mean, I don't give myself enough credit. After reading this, I am congratulating myself for showing up to work today, because I really felt like going to a museum instead. I need to stop berating myself and give credit where credit's due.
    And I might try that rubber-band idea...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We DO need to give ourselves credit.

      Do a post and I'll come by and say "Good Job, Natalie!"

      Delete
  13. good job empress!

    Are we allowed to share our accomplishments here at your royal court? After 5+ years I finally did today what I'd said I would do: dropping off left over gallons of paint for disposal!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I love hearing that.

      "Good job."

      THank you.

      xo

      Delete
  14. Please please please tell me how you keep your patience with your mother. Mine's here for 3 weeks, in my apt, and I have no patience when it's the 4th time I have to tell her something, and yell it, because she's lost a lot of her hearing. I always feel so terrible for not having the patience so if you have some words of wisdom, I'm all ears. ALL EARS.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Suzy, it's so hard.

      I can tell you that some days I just want to cry.

      xo

      Delete
    2. I still picture you as having enormous grace even though it's hard. Sometimes when I'm yelling the answer for the 45th time I think, She's going to tell me to stop yelling, that she can hear me already, but she never does. And she always has a semi-pained expression on her face, like she's struggling with the comprehension. The moment I'm old (next week some time) and have to ask someone to repeat something 3 times I'm getting hearing aids. The hell with vanity.

      Delete
  15. That is a fabulous list of accomplishments! Um, didn't you also participate in putting on an incredible sounding showin May?

    Why oh why didn't I know about the music I listened to, and when to turn it off? Gotta go get myself a rubberband. Thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want to see yours. Can you post your list of ten awesome you did this month?

      Delete
    2. For you? Maybe. As I glanced at the clock last night, it was 11:11...not sure if reading a book was magical, but I did think of you!

      Delete
  16. Lord, lady, did I need this post. How did you know?
    Question: do *all* therapists move to Arizona when they get tired of listening to the rest of us? Because -- swear to god -- mine did too!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. That thing you do.

    That laughing-at-the-dishes-in-the-sink-and-running-off-to-see-Star-Trek thing.

    I need to do that thing.

    Good job, A.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We all do, sweet Sue.

      It's the only To DO that counts.

      xo

      Delete
  18. Oh, good job! (As I cheer, then look around at my bedroom, roll my eyes at the things needing doing, then pick my book back up, put the blanket back on my feet.)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Excellent Job Alexandra!!! Especially the 'mom' part. I do know how tough that one is. Dishes can always wait, You LIVED- and with kindness to others too, You Rocked Honey!

    ReplyDelete
  20. GOOD JOB!

    Yeah, it still feels better to hear it from someone else, huh? I'm working on that myself.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ummmm, yeah, and there was that whole Listen to Your Mother thing you did and the countless comments you left to lift others up when they thought they'd stay down. I'm no Dr. Suzanne but I'm sending a resounding GOOD JOB ALEXANDRA and a warm pat on the back all the way from the sticks. Rock on with your bad empress self.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Good job, indeed. Wait, make that great job!

    XOXO
    Anna

    ReplyDelete
  23. Good job, Alexandra! You're awesome. Love you.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Vacuumed the mini van! Yee Haw! *'m still trying to get embedded dog hair out of the back of my car.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hellya - good job!! I need to do this more - recognize what I've done instead of all the things I haven't done. Thanks for this, Alexandra. I really needed to see this today.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Great list! And it's important to remind yourself of the things you do accomplish and "do right." So yay you!

    Personally, I never recommend the rubber band thing. I know a lot of people find it useful, but I don't like pain so I don't recommend pain to anyone. I'm a fan of gentle reminders. :)

    ReplyDelete

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