Thursday, March 13, 2014

How Would You Have Addressed Adam Ant?



In The Artist's Way, author Julia Cameron makes a thought provoking statement: "I would disagree with those who say we cannot change the past. We can build on it, transform it, utilize it, learn from it, heal it." In other words, our lives are what make us who we are. The life I've had, has prepared me for the life I live now.

It's something to think about. Every experience, something that readies you for the future.

When you sit and ponder the interesting about you, it's cool to see how situations play out and what led to where, and how you got to this point from that place.

I think about how I never liked being different when I was growing up. I was too skinny, too out of step, too curly haired. I daydreamed of being named Francie and having straight hair I could put in side pigtails without looking like Mickey Mouse. But now, my heritage has become where I stake my identity. A good chunk of my writing is on culture and ethnicity. I am Colombian, like Gloria on Modern Family. Watching her is especially funny to me, because I get the inside jokes, and her character? Bonafide.

I grew up having to help in the kitchen because I'm an older sibling. Standing next to my grandmother, I would peer over the kitchen table and burst  garlic bulbs with the flat end of a knife and my hand atop. I can say I am comfortable with my cooking skills. I can even say I'm a fantastic cook, and all that cooking from fifth grade up led to the ground work for when I would be a mother to children with food allergies. Cooking from scratch? I never broke a sweat about it.

In grade school, I was a misfit. Quiet, and always awaiting the next trip to the library. 3 a.m. meant nothing to me, and my nose would be in a book when my mother would see the light under my bedroom door and tell me I had only three hours left before I had to get up for school in the morning. My questions about science, the universe, the world, never stopped. I thought about the things I would read, my mind would think of the possibilities of how something came from nothing? Reading about Shakespeare left me determining my stance on whether he was an individual or was Shakespeare a collective work? Thoughts I'd keep to myself, but now, my children are my friends, and they tell me, "Mom, you are so smart. We used to think you were a scientist. You know something about everything."

And then there is the obvious of the physical. With the long face that I have, I have been mistaken for the world's greatest singer, Celine Dion herself, several times at the grocery store and by my Korean nail technician. Ergo, easily make a living as a Celine Dion impersonator if I had to. Handy fall back, since hard times come and go.

In college, I had a highly coveted job. I was a cocktail waitress in a private club. My roommate was friends with the woman in charge of hiring at our area landmark hotel. Because of this connection, I was hired for a job that never had a chance to be advertised. Spots were whispered about as soon as there was a hint of an opening. Lucky me, I spent my weekend nights dressed in heels, hair in a French twist, white tuxedo shirt with a black bow tie, all finished off with a black skirt. Big entertainment would come through this downtown hotel, and I worked at the private bar for these guests, the top floor. You needed a key to ride the elevator up that far. I have autographs from these days, from Boy George, Red Skelton, Helen Reddy, The Talking Heads, Michael Jordan, Phil Collins. I have no autograph of Adam Ant from he came through while on tour here. After he called me a smart ass for addressing him as "Mr. Ant" when I went to take his drink order, I decided not to ask him for one. But really, what would you have called him? (aside: he was alone, already had male pattern baldness, and paranoid if you ask me)

Those curls aren't accidental, they're purposeful: they cover up the early temple balding
My husband and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary taking turns passing a screaming, red-faced one-month-old baby colicky boy back and forth between us. I never planned on quitting working, but when our baby never slept and could only be consoled by me, so I gave my notice -- I was more surprised than my boss. I told her I couldn't leave him home with anyone else.

As often times has happened in my life, what at first seems "bad" *quitting work* has worked out for "good" *staying home with Alec*. Having to adjust to one income, my husband and I put off our house buying plans and stayed in our flat another year. Two more children came, and I kept right on staying home to be with them, too. When Alec was three, he asked to learn how to read, so like that we began homeschooling. It was easy to do since I was already home. I get goose bumps, because I never saw homeschooling as something in my life. And those years of having all of my children around me on the sofa while we geeked out about Mount Vernon is going to be one of the favorite parts of my life.

It's all a beautiful, surprising twist and turn, one thing building on another. The people we've met along the way and the circumstances that arrive at our door. And it's led me to a lovely place.

Just like that winter morning four years ago, when I decided I wanted to try having one of those "blogs," which resulted in me meeting all of you. And a life that has been so much the richer, and more joyous, for it.

Thank you.

I appreciate you reading, and knowing you, so much.

photo credit: epiclectic via photopin cc

* * *
 
 
Other Places You Can Find Me This Week:

Huffington Post

Aiming Low

MetroParent Milwaukee

Purple Clover 

31 comments:

  1. I wish I had an interesting story like yours and could tell it like you did. *sigh

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  2. I'm glad you took all those paths you took, because I wouldn't have met you otherwise. Happy 4 years, and many more blogging years ahead of you.

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  3. I am thankful for whatever choices you made that led you here. You're a rock star, Alexandra. Just ask Mr. Ant.

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  4. I truly mean it. My life is happier and you who read here and interact with me on FB and twitter, have had a huge part in making me feel like I am part of something. THANK YOU.

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  5. We can completely and totally reinvent our past through writing. It's been so healing for me. This post is beautiful.

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  6. All I heard was "blahblahblahblah ADAM ANT blahblahblah." (sorry - had a wee bit of a thing for him...) :-------D

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  7. I love your story and your blog! Happy blog-anniversary to you! I love forward to reading more from you in years to come!

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  8. I didn't know you'd homeschooled! That makes me love you even more. I worked for the newspaper in college, and I will never forget the day that one of the reporters had a phone interview with Humpty Hump from Digital Underground. He asked to speak to "Mr. Humpty," and Mr. Humpty laughed and hung up on him.

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  9. OMG Celine Dion! That is awesome! !! Are there videos of you as Celine? Vegas baby!

    I loved Adam Ant. Sorry to hear he wasn't nice. :(

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  10. **Adam Ant called me a smart ass for addressing him as "Mr. Ant", but what would you have called him?**

    Haaa. did you mean to be a Smart Ass?

    I loved every single word. Superb. x

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  11. I loved this. Loved it. So fascinating to learn all these amazing things about you. In a weird way it made me excited about what my future will hold, how many more exciting things I must have left.

    xo

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    1. Thank you so much, Marta. Great things are up ahead absolutely. xo

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  12. I think I'd go with my usual fall back of not using a name at all.

    "Meeting" people through blogging has been an unexpected pleasure, that's for sure.

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  13. Such an incredible journey that got you here, and such amazing things you have done since your arrival!

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  14. Listen, everyone: once you take stock of your life, you'll see how it all weaves together. I hope you do, and I'd love to read your posts about it. We are so interesting.

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  15. smiles....everything has a purpose you know...and we may not understand it in the moment...it may be years before we do...or we may never...but everything does have a purpose...smiles.

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  16. I loved reading this, from the moment you mention The Artist's Way. When I read this, I feel like I get a glimpse into not just your life, but who you are. And I think that's the goal of blogging, right? To give people glimpses of who we are.
    So happy blogiversary. I'm glad to have met you. :)

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    1. What a wonderful thing to say, Natalie. THANK YOU.

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  17. Congrats!
    And I would have called Adam Ant "Adam", because in my mind we were DEFINITELY on a first name basis. FAVORITE. Sigh. Saw him in concert about 18 months ago: he's still...sigh.

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  18. You call Adam Ant "double A"

    Happy Anniversary and thank you for showing all of us how wise and kind you are.

    *bowing*

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  19. Love learning more about you. Happy Blogiversary! I hope you feel so proud of everything you've accomplished, Because it's extraordinary. xo

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  20. So glad you are writing here; really appreciate this thoughtful post. I realized nearly a year ago that our pasts are changeable. Not the events of them, but the stories we hold and tell about them--and the stories are so much more powerful than the events. More and more I think the way to heal from the hard things is to change the lens through which we view them.

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  21. I don't quite know how to explain it, you surprise me again and again, but through it all, you also make me no and think, "Yes, that's exactly her, isn't it?" And I love you more.

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    1. Amanda, I treasure you, and your kindness to me. Thank you

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  22. That made me tear up a bit. What a perfect build up to celebrating four years. Even with it's ups and downs, I feel the same way about blogging--that my life is richer because of the people it has connected me to. I'm glad we've met in this blogosphere.

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    1. Isn't it true, Nina? It has changed my life. Thanks for your kind words here today. It truly is wonderful, the people I"ve met and the things that have come my way.

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  23. "having all of my children around me on the sofa while we geeked out about Mount Vernon is going to be one of the favorite parts of my life." Yes! LOL I'm in the midst of it with my boys and its the best thing we ever did. I would have never thought I'd grow up to be a homeschooling mom, but here I am, geeking out and loving it.

    Happy blogversary to you! It's been about 4 years for me too and it's been an incredible journey.

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  24. I loved reading all this about you, Alexandra, getting to know you even better and seeing how all the pieces came into place. Wow, what can I say. I admire you so much for the person that you are and I cherish you so much for all that you have given me. Your 4 year anniversary blogging is a gift to me too, because I am so blessed for the day that I somehow stumbled upon your blog. ~Hugs~

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  25. I love the path you took to get here, Alexandra. Happy blogoversary to you; and I hope I am able to read your writing for many, many more moons to come.

    Also, can I have permission to swat Mr. Ant in the face if our paths ever cross?!

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  26. I learned so much about you from this post, Alexandra. Thank you for sharing these parts of yourself with us! :)

    Happy anniversary!

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  27. THANK YOU, everyone!!! I can't believe four years. Seems that long, and still seems so new to me. I'm so happy I began writing online, because I have met some of the most wonderful people of my life, and my life has changed. THANK YOU all for reading, encouraging, and coming here, to spend time with my words. I appreciate it so much.

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