Mommy The Explorer

I always begin my mornings with a visit to my very first blog love ever, coolmom.com; one of my favorite favorite blogs. When I saw this video here over there today, I knew I had to repost it here. When I asked Daphne about it, she said "repost away!" And so I have. "Daphne the Explorer" is my first bloggy friend Daphne Brogdon, her blog is coolmom. Daphne was my first friend on the internet, and she helped me through a tough year. She is beautiful, very funny, kind and down to earth.

Daphne is a stand up comedian, and also hosts TV Guide Channel's weekly series The Fashion Team. She is married to the fantastic Chef, Mark Peel. Mark is one of the chefs that L.A. takes pride in calling their own. He has appeared on Top Chef, and Good Bite. When Mark's latest cookbook, "New Classic Family Dinners" was released and I purchased it, he signed a copy for me. Mark is executive chef/owner of Campanile Restaurant in L.A and co-founder of La Brea Bakery.

I know you'll find this as funny as I did. Thanks, Daphne!!! You're my girl. And I truly do love this one!

You gotta Swagger Wagon? Yo, check it out

Thank you to Beth, at The Confused Homemaker for the link and these early morning laughs. [Believe me, so worth the click over and the 2 minutes to watch.]





Sorry about the cut-off. Blogger has been doing that to me all morning. Everything looks perfect in "Preview" but gets all crazy in Publish. YouTube has a better video, the Sienna channel has all of them. Hilarious.

Tomorrow......The World!!!!

I don't think I've ever met so many kind, and encouraging people in my life, as when I started this blog. After Baby E's debut post last week Wednesday, there were so many kind requests for more Baby E , that we decided to make Mondays his day.

Do you all know how to make a kid beam or what? And do I have to tell you how high he jumped? And how loud he yelled? Here he is, after I told him the news.

Yup. You'da thought it was Christmas or something. Here's his take on the latest from how he sees his world. It's his perception, and that's the one that counts to him, right?

And, sincerely, bless you all for how special you made this little guy feel. He's walking ten feet tall now. To quote him, "I feel like some superstar, from a movie or something."

As always, he speaks, I type:

"OK. Here we go: this is the stuff that happened since last week. First of all, I lost my tooth. Now, to the real business:

Wait. There's so many stories. There was Photo Friday Fight and then there was the Hoarder's Episode and ..my brain is still dusty, but it'll get undusty in a couple of minutes.

Well, then I'll start with the Photo Friday. Photo Friday was preeeeeetttttty crazy.

OK, so we went to blankplace on Friday and we got some pictures taken of me cuz my mom likes to get pictures of us when we don't have any teeth in our mouths. So, we go to this place and went in and we had an appointment and then you won't believe what happened.

And then this crazy walk-in lady said a lie about having an appointment. She said, "I don't know what time my appointment was for, but I'm next." And then my mouth just dropped open. And so, my mind said, "whaaaa?" And they listened to her and said, "next." And she went in. Then, after like an hour, we were still waiting. Then there was a photo of a picture of a lady and the sign said, "we would love to hear of your visit, call us" so and then Mom saw it and said, "I'll let them know how my visit was" and she called and called and told them she was waiting for an hour. When it was finally our turn, my mom asked the lady, "is it better if we just walk in?" in her pretend nice voice, and then she said, "because just tell me, and I'll do that next time."

OK. Now we're going to "the Hoarder's Episode." This morning, Mom was complaining and throwing stuff around cuz there's like a gameboard on the floor in this room, and the coffee table has Legos on it, and she bought some pizza mixes, and ordered 12 boxes, but each box had 4 packs in them, so now we have 48 boxes of pizza mix and Mom said, "where am I going to put all this stuff?" and I was like "stick it under the desk here" and she said, "Under the desk?! Do you want us to be the next Hoarder's Episode?!" And I spit out my juice on my pants.

Bye. We're going now, to the store, to make a list of things the Tooth Fairy can leave me.

Mom, now, we're done. Don't go looking around at more stuff like you always do."

A Bit Dramatic, Yes, But You Get the Point

There was a young man loved a maid
Who taunted him,"Are you afraid,"
She asked, "to bring to me today
Your mother's heart upon a tray?"

He went and slew his mother dead
Tore from her breast her heart so red
Then towards his lady-love he raced
But tripped and fell in all his haste.

As the heart rolled on the ground
It gave forth a plaintive sound.
And it spoke, in accents mild:
"Did you hurt yourself, my child?"

Jean Richepin


A most wonderful Mother's Day to you all!!!!

Lost In Translation

The following early morning exchange occurred on a day when the world's surliest teenager woke up late for school. If this is your first trip to Angstworld or exposure to TeenSpeak, I have inserted translations below the actual dialogue. I have become well versed in "Angst" and am available for hire. [Fee: free, in the spirit of fellow commiseration.]

PARENT: "Hey, darling, you'll be late if you don't get up now."

15 YR OLD: "What time is it? Why'd you let me sleep so late? You NEVER wake me up in time for anything."

HE IS SAYING: "I am so tired, Mom. Can I sleep a bit longer?"

PARENT: "Sorry you'll have to rush, sweetie. I'll help you out. What do you need?"

15 YR OLD: "You still don't know what I need in the morning? How long have I been your son?"

HE IS SAYING: "I'm too tired to think, Mom. You always do it right. Can you do it for me, please?"

PARENT: "Here, I've got breakfast set. Come on down, I'll pack your lunch. Then you can wash up instead of a shower."

15 YR OLD: "No shower???!! Did you say No shower??!! Man, does everyone get gross like that when they get old? I'm taking a shower. You're the one that got me up late. Why do I have to be the one to go without a shower."

HE IS SAYING: "You know how important my appearance is at this age. Please figure out a way to make time stop so I can get in the shower."

PARENT: "All right. Sneak one in. Fast. I can get you to school on time. You're never late, it'll be all right."

15 YR OLD: "Nothing's ever all right at that place. They always find something wrong .. I hate having to get a tardy slip. Just get me there, on time, I can't be late."

HE IS SAYING: "I have a lot of pressures with being cool. Walking in with a tardy slip like a little kid is embarrassing. Please oh please, Mom, break some laws and get me to school on time."

PARENT: "It'll be fine. You'll just make it. Come on, honey. Everything's set, and I fixed you something so you can eat it in the car. Get dressed, and you'll make it with two minutes to spare. I'll be out in the car. Your backpack's already in there, too."

15 YR OLD: "Thanks, Mom."

HE IS SAYING: .................

BUT in his silence, he says this: Oh, Mom, Why am I like this? So angry all the time. I'm so sorry for the way I acted toward you. I spoke to you with disrespect, when all the time you just want to help me. I love you, Mom. Will you forgive me?

PARENT: "Of course I do."

15 YR OLD: "Whatcha say, Mom? I didn't say anything--who are you talking to? You're starting to talk to yourself like an old person."

PARENT: "Oh, nothing, honey. Just something I heard in my head. Lean over, you've got some Clearasil left on your face. There. Better. You're so handsome. I love you."