I think I know. Please stop over at my post today, on Aiming Low, and we can all get some rest, knowing what Jolie Pitt was really doing that night.
I thank you. You all are the best.
Aiming Low: where mediocrity is our goal.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
But Why Did She Do It?
I know, I know; it was well over two weeks ago that Angelina stuck that leg out like she was Inspector Gadget, "Go Go Gadget Chicken Leg" while presenting at the 2012 Academy Awards. But I can't stop thinking about it: what was she thinking, exactly?
I think I know. Please stop over at my post today, on Aiming Low, and we can all get some rest, knowing what Jolie Pitt was really doing that night.
I thank you. You all are the best.
I think I know. Please stop over at my post today, on Aiming Low, and we can all get some rest, knowing what Jolie Pitt was really doing that night.
I thank you. You all are the best.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
My Mom Is Really Cool But She Gets Crazy About TV Shows
It's Monday, and my youngest, Baby E., has decided to start posting again. He began posting on Mondays two years ago, and has taken some time off. But he felt the urge to get back online tonight. Thank you for welcoming him and giving him your time today.
It means a lot.
xo
_____________________________
Hi. It's been a long time since I was here because I felt very very sick for the past weeks. I was so sick that every five minutes I would go GREEN in my face (put that green in all caps, mom). But I trudged on anyway.
Mom and Dad made me go to school.
And on vacation to Washington, D.C. on vacation. That's all I want to say about me. But we went to so many places on vacation: Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, and museums, and the World War II Memorial, and the National Zoo.
We went to Washington because my big brother got into a special school there. So we went there.
Believe it or not, I was so sick I didn't want to go to the gift shops or kick rocks when I walked. Usually I kick rocks all the time when I walk and my mom tells me that's why my shoes never last.
Ok, now I'm done talking about being sick.
I barfed on the plane.
Twice.
There and back.
Now I'm done talking about that.
Now I will get to how my mom is crazy about TV shows.
Whenever people act really dumb or fake she gets really mad. She yells at the TV, "What are you doing? Don't try to guess the sausage names! What are you thinking?" My dad says, "Yeah, yell at the TV because they can hear you." It always makes us laugh. She went crazy tonight with Amazing Race.
I like books A LOT still. So much that at school on Friday I wanted to go to a book store, not for toys, just books, and all day I just wanted to go to a book store. I am reading The Spy X series, "Hide and Seek," by Peter Lerangis. There are four books so far. I like the books because they're mysterious. Like The 39 Clues. (Book 10 of The 39 Clues was awesome).
I like to read so much that I even read the juice carton when it's on the table.
What makes me mad when I get books from the library is when they have food stains on them, or pages are torn, or the cover is ripped, or pages coming off. People need to take care of books because you want others to read them when you use the library books. It'll be your turn and you don't want a dirty ripped up book. I wish you could know who took the book out last because I would tell them.
Once, I waited for a book from the library and it took like six months -- no lie -- and then I asked about it and they said they didn't have it anymore because "it was damaged beyond repair." BEYOND. Can you believe that?
The book was The Sherlock Files, Book four (there are four of them).
I am better now and played soccer today.
If you have questions about my vacation or the books I read, please tell me.
Oh. My brother got a 3DS for Christmas and it's super cool. I'll do that post later because I have like SO MUCH to say about it. Like crazy, so much.
One thing I'll tell you about it: it's amazing. ( I have a million things to say).
And I have to tell you about the time I got hives after I ate 24 packs of Skittles.
Bye. I'm still sick a little bit so I can't help clean up at night yet. My brothers are cleaning up now.
Bye.
*I only feel good enough to read my book.
P.S. What else I really don't like about books is when they make it into a cliffhanger. A cliffhanger and the next book isn't even out yet. I go crazy when that happens, like my mom does with Amazing Race.
Book Four of Spy X just ended -- it's a cliffhanger!!
Bye.
It means a lot.
xo
_____________________________
Hi. It's been a long time since I was here because I felt very very sick for the past weeks. I was so sick that every five minutes I would go GREEN in my face (put that green in all caps, mom). But I trudged on anyway.
Mom and Dad made me go to school.
And on vacation to Washington, D.C. on vacation. That's all I want to say about me. But we went to so many places on vacation: Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, and museums, and the World War II Memorial, and the National Zoo.
We went to Washington because my big brother got into a special school there. So we went there.
 |
| This is my big brother |
Believe it or not, I was so sick I didn't want to go to the gift shops or kick rocks when I walked. Usually I kick rocks all the time when I walk and my mom tells me that's why my shoes never last.
Ok, now I'm done talking about being sick.
I barfed on the plane.
Twice.
There and back.
Now I'm done talking about that.
Now I will get to how my mom is crazy about TV shows.
Whenever people act really dumb or fake she gets really mad. She yells at the TV, "What are you doing? Don't try to guess the sausage names! What are you thinking?" My dad says, "Yeah, yell at the TV because they can hear you." It always makes us laugh. She went crazy tonight with Amazing Race.
I like books A LOT still. So much that at school on Friday I wanted to go to a book store, not for toys, just books, and all day I just wanted to go to a book store. I am reading The Spy X series, "Hide and Seek," by Peter Lerangis. There are four books so far. I like the books because they're mysterious. Like The 39 Clues. (Book 10 of The 39 Clues was awesome).
I like to read so much that I even read the juice carton when it's on the table.
What makes me mad when I get books from the library is when they have food stains on them, or pages are torn, or the cover is ripped, or pages coming off. People need to take care of books because you want others to read them when you use the library books. It'll be your turn and you don't want a dirty ripped up book. I wish you could know who took the book out last because I would tell them.
Once, I waited for a book from the library and it took like six months -- no lie -- and then I asked about it and they said they didn't have it anymore because "it was damaged beyond repair." BEYOND. Can you believe that?
The book was The Sherlock Files, Book four (there are four of them).
I am better now and played soccer today.
If you have questions about my vacation or the books I read, please tell me.
Oh. My brother got a 3DS for Christmas and it's super cool. I'll do that post later because I have like SO MUCH to say about it. Like crazy, so much.
One thing I'll tell you about it: it's amazing. ( I have a million things to say).
And I have to tell you about the time I got hives after I ate 24 packs of Skittles.
Bye. I'm still sick a little bit so I can't help clean up at night yet. My brothers are cleaning up now.
Bye.
*I only feel good enough to read my book.
P.S. What else I really don't like about books is when they make it into a cliffhanger. A cliffhanger and the next book isn't even out yet. I go crazy when that happens, like my mom does with Amazing Race.
Book Four of Spy X just ended -- it's a cliffhanger!!
Bye.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Oh, Adele,
Our cathartic crooner, Adele. We are at risk, America, World, have you been to her blog lately? SHE'S HAPPY.
I couldn't stand by while we are in peril of losing this woman that always makes me feel so cleansed after a good cry no matter what song of hers comes on the radio. I felt a call to action, and Voila.
My post today, at Aiming Low, an Open Letter To Adele's Attending Physician. I hope he can save her, for us.
Aiming Low, strive for the mediocre.
____________________________________________________
I couldn't stand by while we are in peril of losing this woman that always makes me feel so cleansed after a good cry no matter what song of hers comes on the radio. I felt a call to action, and Voila.
My post today, at Aiming Low, an Open Letter To Adele's Attending Physician. I hope he can save her, for us.
Aiming Low, strive for the mediocre.
____________________________________________________
Thursday, March 8, 2012
So, I'm Going To Be Okay
About two summers ago, after I followed a smell in my kitchen that led me to some ground turkey meat I must have set out to defrost days ago -- in the cabinets with the dishes, and after I opened the freezer and found a bag of fingerling potatoes next to the lemon sorbet, and after I found the bananas I had been looking for since the weekend sitting next to the shoes in the backroom, I quietly and without much of a fight, accepted the fact that I must have early onset dementia.
I'm not joking or making light about those with this condition. I really believed it, accepted it, and went on with my days; always being sure to have a little church pew pencil and mini notebook in my back pocket to write things down; important things, like who was at soccer until what time and at what park. Things that matter, like that.
I knew it was early onset dementia, my kids knew I had it, and my husband shared the diagnosis along with me. Just a fact of life, we learned to deal with it.
Until last week Sunday afternoon, when my oldest son was reading an article in the Wall Street Journal, and he happily cried out as if he just saw winning lottery numbers, Mom! Dad! You guys don't have Alzheimer's!
My husband opened his eyes from his spot on the floor in front of the fireplace where he'd been taking his 2 o'clock nap, I looked up from my new book Cooking Light and Feelin' Good, and together we shouted We don't?
No! You don't! He filled us in. It says here, you're normal! If you forget your keys, that's normal. If you forget your car, and walk home, that's not. More good stuff like this follows. If you can't remember your friend's name from high school, that's normal; if you can't remember your kid's name, that's not.
My husband and I looked at each other and grinned. We're normal!
Turns out we are just over worked, under rested, maxed out, life engulfed, sleep deprived, inadequately exercised, middle aged working parents. The clinical term is Normal Aged Forgetfulness.
We're okay.
Isn't that great?
I want to share this sense of relief with you. The article gave some more examples of what's normal versus what needs to be examined. Here, for you, nuggets of reassuring good news:
To lose car keys, normal. To lose a car, not.
To forget your childhood address, normal. To forget current address, not.
Forgetting names or appointments, normal. Forgetting your spouse's name, not.
Forgetting why you walked into a room, normal. Forgetting where your room is in your house, not.
Forgetting the names of things occasionally, normal. Forgetting the name of a toothbrush while you hold it in your hand, not.
Forgetting where you're going while you're driving, normal. Forgetting where your house is on your block, not.
Wearing clothes for days in a row without changing, not normal. Yoga pants Monday till Wednesday, totally fine.
Unable to manage household finances any longer, not normal. Kind of putting a dent in the credit card during Anthropologie's Winter Clearance Sweater Sale, clearly normal.
Wearing your black cardigan inside out for a full day, normal. Wearing your bra backwards for even one minute, not normal.
Talking to yourself, so normal. Yelling at yourself to answer back, not.
Occasionally blanking out on what your phone number is, normal. Forgetting what a number is, not.
Putting potatoes in the freezer, normal. Putting your watch in the sugarbowl, not. (Okay, I made that one up.)
Getting upset that Jim Halpert let that temp-tress Kathy in his room with only her underwear on, normal. Actually writing a letter to Jim Halpert reminding him of what it took to get Pam, still normal.
Good news, people. We're all going to be okay.
_________________________________________________
I'm not joking or making light about those with this condition. I really believed it, accepted it, and went on with my days; always being sure to have a little church pew pencil and mini notebook in my back pocket to write things down; important things, like who was at soccer until what time and at what park. Things that matter, like that.
I knew it was early onset dementia, my kids knew I had it, and my husband shared the diagnosis along with me. Just a fact of life, we learned to deal with it.
Until last week Sunday afternoon, when my oldest son was reading an article in the Wall Street Journal, and he happily cried out as if he just saw winning lottery numbers, Mom! Dad! You guys don't have Alzheimer's!
My husband opened his eyes from his spot on the floor in front of the fireplace where he'd been taking his 2 o'clock nap, I looked up from my new book Cooking Light and Feelin' Good, and together we shouted We don't?
No! You don't! He filled us in. It says here, you're normal! If you forget your keys, that's normal. If you forget your car, and walk home, that's not. More good stuff like this follows. If you can't remember your friend's name from high school, that's normal; if you can't remember your kid's name, that's not.
My husband and I looked at each other and grinned. We're normal!
Turns out we are just over worked, under rested, maxed out, life engulfed, sleep deprived, inadequately exercised, middle aged working parents. The clinical term is Normal Aged Forgetfulness.
We're okay.
Isn't that great?
I want to share this sense of relief with you. The article gave some more examples of what's normal versus what needs to be examined. Here, for you, nuggets of reassuring good news:
To lose car keys, normal. To lose a car, not.
To forget your childhood address, normal. To forget current address, not.
Forgetting names or appointments, normal. Forgetting your spouse's name, not.
Forgetting why you walked into a room, normal. Forgetting where your room is in your house, not.
Forgetting the names of things occasionally, normal. Forgetting the name of a toothbrush while you hold it in your hand, not.
Forgetting where you're going while you're driving, normal. Forgetting where your house is on your block, not.
Wearing clothes for days in a row without changing, not normal. Yoga pants Monday till Wednesday, totally fine.
Unable to manage household finances any longer, not normal. Kind of putting a dent in the credit card during Anthropologie's Winter Clearance Sweater Sale, clearly normal.
Wearing your black cardigan inside out for a full day, normal. Wearing your bra backwards for even one minute, not normal.
Talking to yourself, so normal. Yelling at yourself to answer back, not.
Occasionally blanking out on what your phone number is, normal. Forgetting what a number is, not.
Putting potatoes in the freezer, normal. Putting your watch in the sugarbowl, not. (Okay, I made that one up.)
Getting upset that Jim Halpert let that temp-tress Kathy in his room with only her underwear on, normal. Actually writing a letter to Jim Halpert reminding him of what it took to get Pam, still normal.
Good news, people. We're all going to be okay.
_________________________________________________
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Smart Choices
The older we get as parents, the more free we are to make decisions about what we want for ourselves. Our children have grown and aren't as needy, and we can kind of start to rebuild ourselves into people again.
We can make decisions about our appearances and our clothing: we are no longer limited to tops that allow access to breasts in seconds for on demand nursing. We are able to choose the foods we want to eat with only ourselves as a concern rather than avoiding the Three Bean Salad because you'll be dealing with little one's colic from your Beano-less breast milk. We can decide how we want to spend our time and will no longer have the automatic response of kids are down! I'm going in for a nap!
We weathered it all, and now, I say congratulations on surviving one of the wildest rides in town: young parenthood. You will be faced with opportunities now that you thought would never show their face again.
I have some suggestions for you; ideas for smart choices while you work your way back to being Healthy, Strong and Attractive...like the days of yore.
Tips for Emerging Out Of Parenting: The Early Days
Limit Your Snacks: Yes, you'll want to eat everything in sight because now you by yourself or you with someone else can grab a few minutes here and there to actually chew and eat something versus choking on the food you jam down your throat while screaming SIT DOWN and getting up 15 times to refill juice glasses. You can sit and eat: this is a dangerous combination. Be aware.
Altering your Appearance: You will trick yourself into thinking that you can turn back time and go back to being that hot mama once more. Mouth jewelry, pierced navels, some new ink: why not. Well, don't. Not without considering first how things have stretched and pulled and lost resiliency. Do you really want a ring hanging from an already looking-like-it's-a-winking-eye bellybutton? Or risk chipping one of your ever softening osteoporotic teeth as your pierced tongue clangs away during Junior's Parent Teacher Conferences? Just think, all I ask.
Smoking and Drinking: the old college days. The old single days. Sitting at a bar, thinking you look so irresistible with a cigarette hanging just by an ash from your beautiful full lower lip as you drink a sexy drink made with enough booze to light your husband's brand new Charbroil grill you gave him for Father's Day. Don't do it...you won't look sexy and wanton, you'll look tired and haggard and someone walking by will drop a card in your lap inviting you to audition on the Jerry Springer Show.
Losing 25 pounds by next Thursday: May have looked good to do at one time, not so fast not so good this time. You're older...a few pounds round out the edges and fill out the sags. Take it slow, a pound a month. *snort* as if losing a pound a month is even going to happen with your new metabolism...
Thinking you can hit the dance floor like you used to do: Uh uhn. Nuh uh, as a matter of fact. Don't you know that the day you got married is the day your dance moves stayed frozen in time? Forever? Like the way I'm still doing The Cabbage Patch? And my husband does The Running Man, just about beating himself up in the process? Yeah. True. Turn on the radio...see what your body does. I rest my case.
Enjoy your new freedom, my lovely readers, just take it easy. Though we may think it's only been seconds since we left the playing field, we're not what we used to be.
Photo via Flickr cc
______________________________________________
**Am I the only one a little bitty bit worried about Jim Halpert? What's going on with that man? Let me know what you think. My post up today, at Sprocket Ink.
Be in the know, be the clever one, read Sprocket Ink.
We can make decisions about our appearances and our clothing: we are no longer limited to tops that allow access to breasts in seconds for on demand nursing. We are able to choose the foods we want to eat with only ourselves as a concern rather than avoiding the Three Bean Salad because you'll be dealing with little one's colic from your Beano-less breast milk. We can decide how we want to spend our time and will no longer have the automatic response of kids are down! I'm going in for a nap!
We weathered it all, and now, I say congratulations on surviving one of the wildest rides in town: young parenthood. You will be faced with opportunities now that you thought would never show their face again.
I have some suggestions for you; ideas for smart choices while you work your way back to being Healthy, Strong and Attractive...like the days of yore.
Tips for Emerging Out Of Parenting: The Early Days
Limit Your Snacks: Yes, you'll want to eat everything in sight because now you by yourself or you with someone else can grab a few minutes here and there to actually chew and eat something versus choking on the food you jam down your throat while screaming SIT DOWN and getting up 15 times to refill juice glasses. You can sit and eat: this is a dangerous combination. Be aware.
Altering your Appearance: You will trick yourself into thinking that you can turn back time and go back to being that hot mama once more. Mouth jewelry, pierced navels, some new ink: why not. Well, don't. Not without considering first how things have stretched and pulled and lost resiliency. Do you really want a ring hanging from an already looking-like-it's-a-winking-eye bellybutton? Or risk chipping one of your ever softening osteoporotic teeth as your pierced tongue clangs away during Junior's Parent Teacher Conferences? Just think, all I ask.
Smoking and Drinking: the old college days. The old single days. Sitting at a bar, thinking you look so irresistible with a cigarette hanging just by an ash from your beautiful full lower lip as you drink a sexy drink made with enough booze to light your husband's brand new Charbroil grill you gave him for Father's Day. Don't do it...you won't look sexy and wanton, you'll look tired and haggard and someone walking by will drop a card in your lap inviting you to audition on the Jerry Springer Show.
Losing 25 pounds by next Thursday: May have looked good to do at one time, not so fast not so good this time. You're older...a few pounds round out the edges and fill out the sags. Take it slow, a pound a month. *snort* as if losing a pound a month is even going to happen with your new metabolism...
Thinking you can hit the dance floor like you used to do: Uh uhn. Nuh uh, as a matter of fact. Don't you know that the day you got married is the day your dance moves stayed frozen in time? Forever? Like the way I'm still doing The Cabbage Patch? And my husband does The Running Man, just about beating himself up in the process? Yeah. True. Turn on the radio...see what your body does. I rest my case.
Enjoy your new freedom, my lovely readers, just take it easy. Though we may think it's only been seconds since we left the playing field, we're not what we used to be.
Photo via Flickr cc
______________________________________________
**Am I the only one a little bitty bit worried about Jim Halpert? What's going on with that man? Let me know what you think. My post up today, at Sprocket Ink.
Be in the know, be the clever one, read Sprocket Ink.
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