The older we get as parents, the more free we are to make decisions about what we want for ourselves. Our children have grown and aren't as needy, and we can kind of start to rebuild ourselves into people again.
We can make decisions about our appearances and our clothing: we are no longer limited to tops that allow access to breasts in seconds for on demand nursing. We are able to choose the foods we want to eat with only ourselves as a concern rather than avoiding the Three Bean Salad because you'll be dealing with little one's colic from your Beano-less breast milk. We can decide how we want to spend our time and will no longer have the automatic response of kids are down! I'm going in for a nap!
We weathered it all, and now, I say congratulations on surviving one of the wildest rides in town: young parenthood. You will be faced with opportunities now that you thought would never show their face again.
I have some suggestions for you; ideas for smart choices while you work your way back to being Healthy, Strong and Attractive...like the days of yore.
Tips for Emerging Out Of Parenting: The Early Days
Limit Your Snacks: Yes, you'll want to eat everything in sight because now you by yourself or you with someone else can grab a few minutes here and there to actually chew and eat something versus choking on the food you jam down your throat while screaming SIT DOWN and getting up 15 times to refill juice glasses. You can sit and eat: this is a dangerous combination. Be aware.
Altering your Appearance: You will trick yourself into thinking that you can turn back time and go back to being that hot mama once more. Mouth jewelry, pierced navels, some new ink: why not. Well, don't. Not without considering first how things have stretched and pulled and lost resiliency. Do you really want a ring hanging from an already looking-like-it's-a-winking-eye bellybutton? Or risk chipping one of your ever softening osteoporotic teeth as your pierced tongue clangs away during Junior's Parent Teacher Conferences? Just think, all I ask.
Smoking and Drinking: the old college days. The old single days. Sitting at a bar, thinking you look so irresistible with a cigarette hanging just by an ash from your beautiful full lower lip as you drink a sexy drink made with enough booze to light your husband's brand new Charbroil grill you gave him for Father's Day. Don't do it...you won't look sexy and wanton, you'll look tired and haggard and someone walking by will drop a card in your lap inviting you to audition on the Jerry Springer Show.
Losing 25 pounds by next Thursday: May have looked good to do at one time, not so fast not so good this time. You're older...a few pounds round out the edges and fill out the sags. Take it slow, a pound a month. *snort* as if losing a pound a month is even going to happen with your new metabolism...
Thinking you can hit the dance floor like you used to do: Uh uhn. Nuh uh, as a matter of fact. Don't you know that the day you got married is the day your dance moves stayed frozen in time? Forever? Like the way I'm still doing The Cabbage Patch? And my husband does The Running Man, just about beating himself up in the process? Yeah. True. Turn on the radio...see what your body does. I rest my case.
Enjoy your new freedom, my lovely readers, just take it easy. Though we may think it's only been seconds since we left the playing field, we're not what we used to be.
Photo via Flickr cc
**Am I the only one a little bitty bit worried about Jim Halpert? What's going on with that man? Let me know what you think. My post up today, at Sprocket Ink.
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