Movie Reviews in 15 Words or Less

The Martian:  Is there wind on Maaaaaars? Yes. And space potatoes.

Transylvania 2:  Moral of the story: Let kids be who they are.

V for Vendetta:  Guy Fawkes makes eggs that make you love him.

Man of La Mancha:  Couldn't get past the first six minutes without going into a coma.

Terminator Genisys:  What happens when you put all the Terminators in one movie? This.

Mad Max: Fury Road:  Angry men in cars, just like the freeway. And then there's FURIOSA.

The Force Awakens:  Spoilers. Don't read any things about it. (but best one ever)

Jurassic World:  More dinosaurs and kids running away. But with Chris Pratt which is Ok.

Avengers: Age of Ultron:  Avengers again. But with robots now and a vision guy.

The Good Dinosaur:  Dinosaur gets lost emotionally and physically. But for kids. Yeah.

Ant-Man:  Dare you to not cry over ants.

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation:  Tom Cruz and Jeremy Renner are so good together I don't even know.

Red:  Sweet Bruce Willie somehow makes kidnapping look like an act of love.

Maze Runner: Scorch Trials:  Jump scares deluxe and get ready to scream many times.

Man from U.N.C.L.E.:   Buddy cop-spies who dress like dreams. You'll want to marry the soundtrack.

The Moth Stories: The Last Gift

A story about my mother, her last Christmas, and having to choose between what I promised her and what my son needed.

Available now through The Moth's podcast.

Thank you to The Moth for the incredible honor of being featured on a moth podcast, and thank you all for helping me believe I have words to share.

Happy 2016.

 * * *

Blogging Without a Breakdown

To know me, is to know I love my blog. I love blogging and all the good it has brought into my life: my friends, my writing sites, my connections, my communities. I feel at home on the internet and the friendships I've made because of blogging are the reason I will never be offline.

But our bodies know that we are not machines - we can't keep going with one hand on the keyboard and the other slamming water and Scooby-do snacks into our mouth. We need to breathe, be, stop, and live the life we have offline.

How do we do it all? Can we maintain our blog presence without losing our minds?

I write of just this, today on BlogHer: When Your Blog Becomes Too Much.

I hope you'll click over and join the conversation on blogging with balance: can it happen? Let me know what has helped you to stay sane with the time devouring internet, I'd love to hear your ideas.

 

* * *

Things To Do When It's SubZero Outside

A post today from Auggie. Because his mother is freshly frozen out of ideas on what to do when 7 below has us all imprisoned stuck inside. She just keeps making chili and crying.
___________


1 Watch the youngest play video games or whoever's the best at them. You can all watch around the campfire, super exciting (for one person). Quality entertainment but gets old fast. If you have two player games, that's fun, too. Old people don't get them as much, though.

2 Listen to music as a family or have a music party and see whose jams are the best. Sometimes listen to the radio like an old-timey family.

3 Watch movies and take turns voting on which ones you want to watch. You got to be careful if your dad doesn't know which movies to watch, like he thinks The Fugitive is family-value entertainment. But it's still sometimes fun to watch dumb movies you've never seen before like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. And it doesn't matter that Christmas is over because this movie is good anytime.

4 Draw. Look up fun drawing games. Google “Fun drawing games.” There's one where one person draws a part of something then passes it to the next person to draw another part of it and go around the table like that until everyone feels it's done, or something like that. Sometimes it doesn't work.

5 Do origami. Find some good stuff online. Like here's a good one.

6 Play board games.

 

7 Play card games. Play cards like Four Card is a favorite (no it's not but it's my dad's so he makes us and this is my way of complaining about it)

8 Draw again but this time use markers. 

9 Monopoly is a last resort, you don't want it to come to that though because of family fights and it never ends.

10 Read a book.
 

11 You can all sit under a blanket tent and talk. How life is going.

 

12 Talk about what you're gonna do when it's not so cold anymore.

P.S. No matter what, do NOT say "I have nothing to do" or your mom will give you something to do. Surprises like laundry, and carrying stuff to the basement.

P.P.S. We've made 12 of these already:

 

 

* * *

Listen To Your Mother Milwaukee Show Auditions Announced!

Listen To Your Mother Milwaukee is now open for auditions for its 4th annual Listen To Your Mother Show!

Our venue is once more the beautiful Pitman Theatre located on Alverno College Campus, and our show date is Sunday, May 1, 2016.

Audition dates are BY APPOINTMENT ONLY Saturday, February 27 at Bayshore Mall Community Room. Please contact us for your time slot by emailing ltymmil at gmail dot com. We will not be able to accommodate anyone without a scheduled appointment time.

If you’re wondering what to audition with, Listen To Your Mother Milwaukee is looking for a 5-minute in length, original and non-fiction piece of what motherhood means to you. We don’t look for tributes or “eulogies” but something that represents the diverse and expanse of motherhood – as long as motherhood is the focus of the piece. We welcome submissions from everyone, and you don’t have to be a mother to audition.

Did you get that? You do not have to be a mother to read for Listen To Your Mother.

For an idea of the pieces that work with a Listen To Your Mother Show, please view our LTYM youtube channel. There, you’ll find essays, poetry, prose on the heavy and the light on the theme of motherhood. As Ann Imig, creator and national director perfectly puts it, “LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER features live readings by local writers on the beauty, the beast, and the barely-rested of motherhood in celebration of Mother’s Day.”

To be considered for a Listen To Your Mother Show, it’s not required that you be a parent, a woman, or bring us a story about your mother. What we hope you share with us is what motherhood means to you. You don’t need to have stage or public speaking experience. You do not need to be a professional writer. You just need to have a story that is yours to tell.

Here’s what Listen To Your Mother Milwaukee looks for when considering a piece for our shows:
Motherhood is the star focus of your piece.
It must be a true, yours, and original. No fiction.
Your piece should not be longer than 5 minutes when read aloud.
Poetry is welcome.
Pieces should not be memorized. Work is read from your pages on stage, so please don’t memorize.

If you’re still not sure you’re up to audition, let us offer you some encouragement by watching the LTYM youtube channel  – we want to hear your story!

Whether you decide that this is the year you’ll give life to your words or not, either way, be sure to attend a Listen To Your Mother Show. Seeing a show may inspire a story in you!

Take on those dreams, push the nerves and doubt out of your way, and come tell us your story! Reserve your audition slot online by emailing the Milwaukee LTYM production team at ltymmil at gmail dot com.

And if telling a story isn’t your thing, but you know of someone perfect for this amazing opportunity, please share this audition information with them.

In the meantime, be sure to follow us here for LTYM Milwaukee updates on our 2016 season, to include our local charity announcement, cast announcements, our wonderful sponsors, and details on our beautiful venue!

Come share your story with us, Milwaukee!

“Listen To Your Mother – a national series of original live readings shared locally on stages and globally via social media.”

Your Listen To Your Mother Milwaukee Team,

Jen, Rochelle, and Alexandra

* * *