It's Monday, and Baby E's day to post. He has a few bones to pick today, mostly about his brothers. This is his place to vent, so I will let him have at it. And he is soooooo very ready. He speaks, I am only his scribe.
It's me. And I am frustrated about a lot of things.
I used to say mad, but now I learned to say Frustrated.
Frustrated feels like mad, but it's different because frustrated feels like you are going to explode.
My mom taught me to go away and count to ten, sometimes higher, till I can come back and talk about it. It's when you get so mad you just want to cry and run.
My brothers make me frustrated. They are bigger and older. I love my brothers but sometimes they laugh when I say stuff. My mom goes crazy CRAZY! crazy when they do this. She goes all crazy. Here's what happened.
I like surprises.
If they are big or small is not what I care about.
I just like surprises.
My mom knows this and will bring me home surprises.
Today, she went grocery shopping and usually, at home, what we have is that my mom mixes cinnamon sugar for me, home made style, for my toast. But today! she came home with already mixed cinnamon sugar that was poured inside of a clown's body with his yellow hat being the shaker for the stuff. She got this at the store.
When my mom is done grocery shopping, she comes home and me and my brothers all go out to the van and help carry in groceries. We all help unload them onto the island, too. I like to do this because sometimes there is a surprise for me. This time, there was a surprise! It was the cinnamon sugar.
I opened it right away by pulling off the silver top that was under the yellow hat BUT when I did pull off the foil circle smoke! came out.
I dropped it and was surprised, and said, "Mom! There's smoke coming out!"
My brothers laughed and said, "there's no smoke in there, it's dust from the cinnamon. hahhahhahhahahahahahaha" and they wouldn't stop laughing.
I ran upstairs because it makes me so mad when they laugh.
I heard my mom get mad at them and told them to finish with the groceries and she came up by me. She told me it was dust that comes out that looks exactly like smoke and to come down and experiment and see. But I didn't want to. The truth is I didn't want to because I was embarrassed to see my brothers because they think I'm dumb. My mom told me they don't think that, they just don't think. period.
I stayed up for awhile and she went down and then she said, "Baby E, cinnamon rolls!" And I just had to come down. When I came down my brothers both hugged me and said, "sorry, brother." And that felt good. And that is what frustration comes from, so mad you just want to go away. But that is over now.
OUTSIDE IS CRAZY
The outside of our house is crazy. My mom says this is because winter is coming and the animals are looking for warm places.
But it creeps me out and I just want to go to bed early.
Like, THERE IS AN OWL LIVING IN OUR CHIMNEY!
At night, you can hear him rustle and settle and go "whoo whooo whooo" he does it three times in a row and it's loud and echoey cuz it's in the chimney and only at night so I like to go upstairs so I don't have to hear it. My mom says he is fine and to leave him be. But it just scares me.
Also, WE HAVE COYOTES BEHIND OUR HOUSE!
Like, one night, my mom thought she heard sirens all night, and she said "hmmm....what is going on? The sirens are running all night." And my mom said she was going to call the police to see if maybe something was wrong with the sirens or something. And so she did and the police laughed and told her, "those weren't sirens, those were the coyotes and to please keep any pets inside at night." She did not like that last advice.
And she said she made the mistake of telling my older brother and now he is afraid to take out the garbage at night and my dad laughs because my brother wants to be an air force pilot and my dad says, "Yup. America's finest, right here, fearless, under our own roof" and my brother gets mad at that and says, "I'm only afraid of coyotes in case they think I'm a pet and attack me."
THE DEAD FLOP
I like to play The Dead Flop.
It is the funnest game.
What I like to do is wait till everyone is busy doing something by themselves in the house.
My mom can be cooking, my brother can be drawing, my other brother can be reading, and my dad can be on the laptop. Then, I like to just lay down and not move in one of the rooms in the house. My mom will always say, "where's Baby E. Brothers, go find Baby E for me, I haven't seen him for awhile."
Then they get up and look for me and I am laying quiet and still and not moving and TRYING SO HARD TO NOT LAUGH when they find me. And I am laying still doing The Dead Flop where I don't move and they can't pick me up or make me talk or anything.
And they say, "MOM! He's here but he's not moving. "
And she always comes, and goes, "Oh! Baby E!" And she picks me up and I don't move a bit and am just like a floppy fish and I try so hard not to laugh and she says, "Quick, boys, go get the Swedish Fish. That's the only thing that helps with The Dead Flop" and they go get Swedish Fish--but skittles work, too, and SourPatch Kids--and they come to me and they put a Swedish Fish in my mouth and I come back to life and I love that game.
My mom says she is combing my hair but I say she is "ripping my hair" cuz she attacks me with the comb. I don't like my hair. It is curly. I cut it myself a while ago because some kids called it "Curly Girly Hair" and so I went upstairs and cut it. My mom took me to get it cut shorter now so that the cut parts match.
She says girls love curly hair.
Bye and December is almost here.
PLUS: come see me here for the month of November. I'M FAMOUS!
|Me and My Mom|