Monday, November 1, 2010

Pursey Galore, or Love With A Proper Stranger

It's my turn to host the zebra striped sequined purse known as  "Pursey Galore."  Pursey is serving as the ambassador for the year-long fund raiser for the American Stroke Association, geniused by Lori from InPursuitofMarthaPoints.  Pursey Galore , as part of Project: Purse and Boots, is traveling the USA and Canada, raising awareness and collecting pledges for the ASA. Each hostess provides a story of Pursey's stay with them, here is mine:

Dear Mama Lori:  I'm so very sorry I haven't called, but I've been having so much fun at the kingdom here with The Empress and her family!
The beautiful town I'm in right now
It's all kinds of beautiful, and peaceful here. The weather is perfect, and everywhere: it's just picture perfect.

Thank you for letting me see so many things on my own, Mama Lori.
Empress opened the package and had this note from Mama Lori
Me feeling kinda shy, just arrived from KludgyMom
At first, I was kinda shy, because, Mama Lori, let me tell you: there are NO other ladies in this house.

Only The Empress.

It's all men, boys, and noise, and...not really quiet, you know.

But, then, I met Oldest's backpack, he was SO nice, but pretty young, and then I met the famous Baby E's backpack, and he was just so little, and cute. And I met Middlest's backpack, who was really smart. And, then, oh, Mama Lori, I don't know how to begin.



I looked up, and there. he. was........Mr. Big.
Picnics with Mr. Big

The Emperor's Laptop bag.

Spending sunny afternoons together

Mr. Big gave me my first rose. EV-ER.
I felt so special.
We had sweet talks together in the yard
We played on swingsets together
Sometimes we sat and just said nothing

We did so much. Mr. Big taught me to scooter. Mama Lori, I LOVE the feeling of speed! I felt so free, so young, so ALIVE with the wind blowing through my sequins! Mr. Big told me, that when the sun hits my sequins just so, that I look like a star that fell right out of the sky. He said, "So, did it hurt?" And I asked, "did what hurt?" and he said...oh, Mama Lori, he said, "When you fell down from heaven."  *sigh*

Our scooters

We played a game called "Chess" together, and he is so smart, and good at teaching things. I won after only one afternoon of playing. He said I could learn anything, I think he let me win.

Chess matches in the game room

There is so much to do in this town. Everyone had something happening for Halloween. It's a wonderful weekend to be here, Mama Lori!  We spent a wonderful Friday here, I can't wait till tomorrow, Saturday!

We went leafpile jumping!

The Empress and Baby E took us to a pumpkin farm

We went on a Gothic Tour of the town to see the first cemetery
That was a wonderful Saturday, Mama Lori! I'll never, ever forget it. I fell asleep, dreaming of what we'd do on Sunday. I am so very happy.
We began Sunday with coffee at LaMonde Bakerie

I had coffee today! I love it! It makes me feel good about EVERYTHING! It's the perfect drink: it calms you down, but brings you up. I had a great time laughing and talking and wishing my cup was bottomless!
We sat and felt the warm sun 

We joined in on the town's pumpkin walk

And, still, more of those strolls along the creek......

I could have lived in that day forever, but we had to hurry home, we were going trick or treating with the family. Our costumes were waiting for us!
Ready for Trick Or Treat!
Family ready to Trick Or Treat
We came home, bags full of candy, so very tired. I was happy, and sad, because I knew, and Mr. Big knew, that tonight would be my last night here.

Mama Lori, you were young once, right? Please keep that in mind, when I explain to you what happened next. Do you remember when someone would walk into a room, and your heart would race? Remember that? Please say you do, it'll make it so much easier for you to understand what I'm about to tell you.

It had been chilly, so we decided to use the jacuzzi......
I'm not sure how this happened......

.....or this.....
He loves me, Mama Lori. Mr. Big is going to take care of Purseylette while I honor my commitments. The Empress is so happy to have a baby girl in the house, she, along with Mr. Big, will take wonderful care of Purseylette. Everything will be O.K.  They will be reading about me to Purseylette, and showing her where I am on Project Purse And Boots. And, after I finish what I promised I'd do, Mama, and meet with The Bloggess at BlogHer 2011, I'm hoping I can come back, here, and be with Mr. Big and Purseylette.

I feel good about this, Mama L., and now I'm ready to leave Monday, to meet Meg at BestOfFates!

I love you, Mama Lori.

Love, Pursey Galore

IMPORTANT NEWS: Baby E has made it to Hollywood!! Please stop over here and say Hi! to Baby E  at HotComesToDie.


  1. It sounds like Pursey had a very wonderful trip.....

    Do we need to plan a baby shower for Purseylette? The blogging community has to take care of their own, you know. ;-)

    I think it was all those fall leaves that inspired the Pursey romance. Fall leaves will get you every time.

  2. Oh my God... when i started with this post, i did not expect this coming... i enjoyed this post so so much... I cannot help but giggle my way around while reading this post... i agree with my previous commenter, there should have been a baby shower Purseylette is just so adorable... :-D

  3. It is adorable and out of magic the little one arrived! Will there be more purslyettes in the making!

  4. omg...too funny...haha. wonderful tale...

  5. Wow - this is so cute, and sweet, and hilarious!! Loved it! (And loved purseylette too)

  6. OH.MY.GOD!!!! Empress, this is sheer brilliance!!! I don't think my smile can get any bigger! What a superbly clever idea! HAHAHAHA!!!

  7. This is so clever I almost can't stand it. You rock, awesome lady.

  8. Dying dying dying over here.

    Of shame!!

    Where did I go wrong??

    How could I not have sent "protection" along with her??

    And now...a coin-purse out of wedlock!

    I can only say how relieved I am that Mr. Big is manning up (so to speak) and doing the right thing by the little one.

    And I'm so glad that Purseylette has such a loving home to grow up in while her mama continues vamping across the country.

    It's the price of celebrity, you know.

    That was AWESOME, Empress. Just brilliant and you made me laugh out loud even before the caffeine hit.

  9. I want to go with Pursey next time!

  10. Not sure I would call Mr. Big a "proper" stranger. His moves were a little too smooth...

    And, I love Pursey's nightie.


  11. That bag has had some wild times, but I just can't believe she'd have a baby out of wedlock like that.

    I'm shocked.


  12. Fantastic, I laughed, I cried...and then being the skeptic that I am I wondered...that baby don't look nothing like it's can we be sure without a proper purse paternity test?

  13. This was Wonderfully Clever and Funny, I loved it! Great work for a Great cause Empress: )

  14. Roflmbo Ok I admit I had not heard of this but I am dying laughing over here. The little one looks just like her lol.. OH this was hilarious..

  15. laughing too hard for words here!!! Love it!

  16. I don't know what the others did for their visit but yours was hilarious.

  17. Oh Empress, such a house of scandal you have!

    I LOVED this! And what a beautiful baby they made. They should have more. I'll adopt!

  18. THAT TRAMP! Now we know WHY she's called GALORE!

    I can't wait to get my hands on that wench... ;)

  19. Oh, can you imagine, Pursey and Flat Stanley? The stories? The way things are going, both probably need a "health" check.

    So freaking clever! LOVED this!

  20. You are amazing Alexandra - you have totally outdone yourself this time! Fabulous post, so clever and poignant! I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry! I loved that it could've been about so many things but you helped us try to remember what those wonderful feelings of "in love" are. Who would've thought a couple of bags could be so romantic and make me laugh and cry. Your ending is classic. Thanks for this - such a joy to read :-)

    PS I loved "Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?" :-)

  21. OMG! Too funny! I'm still all agiggle here.

    Will Purseylette follow in her mother's "footsteps"? Or grow up to be a stay at home pursey?

    Keep us posted as the drama unfolds...

  22. Oh, I LOVE this...who knew Pursey was so trampy??!! ;)

  23. This is one of my favorite posts. It's just so hysterically random. Which, as you know, is right up my alley. It's like an episode of The Bachelorette! First, the rose ceremony and THEN - gasp! - she chooses the option of spending the night with him! All I know is that Mrs. Big, the leather monstrosity from the '80s that's hiding in your closet, is pissed.

  24. That's so awesome. I super jealous of the romantic bath.

  25. That purse had a better weekend than I did.

  26. My favorite Pursey Galore post so far.

    I'm just so glad she's found true love and a man who'll care for her little change purse while she's on the road!

  27. As "moveovermarypoppins" would say "Christ in a sidecar!" That's the best damn thing EVER!

    I am dying over here.

    None of us will be able to top this, you know. You did that on purpose, didn't you?

  28. Oh, pursey is awesome! And. Is that a banana on that plate??? Me hopes so.

  29. OMG... that just totally cracked me up. I read that before work, but didn't get a chance to comment. You are just mental magic.

  30. Um... and that's "mental" as in thoughts, not "Mental" crazy.

  31. I. Am. DYING. over here!

    Mr. Big. The Baby. The jacuzzi.


  32. Well, I guess stranger things have happened. Love can be such a whirlwind.

  33. This is the first I'm hearing of Pursey's adventures. This part of Pursey's visits is over the top fantastic. I don't travel in Pursey's circles so I'm just going to sit back, wait until after BlogHer '11 to end, and hope to find Pursey, Mr. Big, and Purseylette are finally united in blissdom at the Kingdom of Testosterone.

  34. on another note...i now have to get a gym membership...because i ate most of the truffles since lunch...they are phenomenal! wow.

  35. Bahahahaha!!! Loved it! Well done! And Purseylette is just darling. And I bet she sleeps through the night already too ;)

  36. Awww...there's nothing like Purse love...and Mr. Big, well who could resist?

    Hilarious love story!!

  37. So funny, browsing my inbox, before doing book edits and came across your post. What a perfect pick me up. :) Your posts are the best. On day, you can tell Pursylette her parents had a whirlwind romance.

  38. OMG you are hilarious. And BTW, I'm on my kids computer with netnanny and it blocked this post due to mature content. Snort!!!

    Where did you find that Purseylette?

  39. Oh. Mah. LAWD. You are killing me. I want to bottle up your funny...or stick it in a flamboyant purse.

  40. I am not sure if I can host that hussy now in my sacred home. ;)

  41. I'm late to the party but this is HILARIOUS! "Did it hurt?" baaaaaaaaa!

    I can't wait to read what ensues with Megan!

  42. Oh, the heart. It wants what it wants.

    Very funny post! Thanks for the laugh-out-loud moment!

  43. This is the most cleverly written purse romance story I have read this week. I love it.

  44. This post, while awesome, is clearly skirting a serious issue.

    When, oh when dear lord, will purses be allowed to marry?

    Don't force Purseylette to be in an unstable home any longer.

    It's time to write your congressman.

    (Or woman.)

    (Or purse, as the case may be.)

  45. Oh my dear lord. I LOVE the purse dressed up in the costume and bikini? And? It is so sparkly! And the little purseylette is just precious. Can't stand it! What fun!

  46. That purse might have had more fun that I did. ;)

  47. Pursey Galore! OMgod I am laughing so hard!

  48. LOLOL you are way too creative!! Love it. By the way, tagged you on my latest post!

  49. This was hysterical. HIgh 5 , girl.


  50. This is so much fun! I love reading these posts- it sounds like Pursey had an amazing visit. How could she not with you??

  51. Oh Empress, so funny! I think that Pursey is getting around a bit more than she ever thought she would! It starts out all nice, some laughs and some scootering. Then it moves to the jacuzzi and the bed...and before you know it the little ones come along.

    Looks like you all had some fun, for sure.

  52. That was HILARIOUS!!! I loved all of it! You are so creative. Did Purseylette get any type of shower thrown in her honor?? What does she need? Do baby purses poop? She really is adorable. Looks so much like her mother, who I was able to meet in Austin. If I had only known she was such a hussy, I would've sat her down and had a good long talk. Oh, well. If it weren't for her loose (change) ways, P-lette wouldn't be here. Thanks for sharing that story!!

  53. I'm just not quite sure what to think? So touching and sweet and then... and then... well the whole seduction for all to see. I'm just wondering if perhaps this was in some way an Emporer/Empress autobiography thinly veiled by Pursey and Mr.Big. I only ask this because the story rang so true? The details were so crisp and clear... I couldn't help but wonder?

  54. Last week, I saw Pursey making out with the Travelocity Roaming Gnome. She DOES get around.

  55. I heart teh shiny zebra! Purrrr! Love it!

  56. I can;t believe you'd take P-lette from her mother this young...or is that how they do it in the Purse culture?


  57. I love the hot tub scene! Plus the 'I don't know how this happened . . .' too funny! Thanks for following me on my blog! Yours is amazing! I'm jumping on immediately!

  58. Also? I just read your comment . . . and thank you. It's so great to know I have a another warrior mom out there. It's an uphill battle. Thank you.

  59. When does it hook up with Man-Bag Melvin and make a bunch of little change purses?

  60. Too funny! They are planning on getting married, right?

  61. The Empress, you are so silly... and clever, witty, and amazing! Love it!

  62. This humble spammer bows down at your blogginess' feet! This was an incredible post.

    And you could almost cue the brown chicken brown cow music when they were in the hot tub!


  63. I love this idea of Pursey to raise money and awareness. And I LOVE the way you blogged about it! Also, can I come stay with you for a bit. Looks delightful!

  64. I think that I was struck in the head by Pursey, but my memory is a little fuzzy. And now I have to go build a tire swingset for my kids. That looks like too much fun.

  65. this is a really clever story, a great use of art and story. and i love stories that end in the jacuzzi.
    good to see you:)

  66. Is that a baby pursey I see there? I'm blushing. Too too funny, Empress!

  67. I am going to be completely honest here. Normally I just kinda skim Pursey's adventures. This one was phenomenal. I mean absolutely amazing.

    I bow to thee and chant "We're not worthy, we're not worthy. We're scum. We suck."

    Okay so I stole it from Wayne's World.

  68. This brings up so much complication. Now everyone else who hosts pursey is going to have to schedule long distance calls to chat with the baby daddy and junk like that. You really should have supervised more, Empress.

  69. THANK YOU to everyone that came here to show support for the American Stroke Assn and Pursey Galore's travels.

    You can go to In Pursuit of Martha Points to host PUrsey, or to make a donation.

    It is really a great idea and a lot of fun. THank you, again, for all your kidn comments and encouragement.

    We loved having Pursey here, and are now loving being the surrogate parents of Purseylette while Pursey's on the road.

  70. Now THAT'S a love story like no other! Why can't I get that kind of romance?? Maybe I need more sequins in my wardrobe...

    ;-)) <3

  71. YOu know, my previous comment about how funny you are belonged on THIS post, not your Happy Halloween one. HAHA. Blame my pc. It hates me these days.

  72. This is fantastic!! I think Pursey should commended for leaving her baby girl in a lovely family to carry on with her commitments. I'm sure she didn't make that decision easily.

  73. You have left me in a fit of giggles!
    Love, love, love this. ;)



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