Today is my oldest son's, my first baby's, birthday.
The baby I wanted since I was five years old, no exaggeration.
When he was born, he looked up at me and his eyes were so blue that I heard myself gasp out loud.
As the nurse handed him to me, I couldn't see his face because my eyes filled with tears faster than they've ever filled before. I tried to look at him, but it was impossible; so many fat drops fell on his face that when I bent to kiss him, all I could taste was salt.
Well, he's seventeen today. His golden birthday, too. And I want to write him a letter while I still have him within five feet of me, there whenever I want him, to tell him what he means to me.
But as I try to write down something on paper for him to have from me forever, I can't see. Because, just as they did seventeen years ago, my eyes are filling with tears faster than they ever have before.
And all I can keep writing over and over is I'm so happy I still have you.
Happy Birthday, my wonderful boy. Just know that I love you. xo