I dreamed last night that I was peddling a bicycle up a long, steep hill, that was deeply covered in snow, with my mother on the back of the bicycle. We had made it three-fourths of the way up, but not easily, and I had pushed my legs as far as they could go.
My legs were spent, but I knew that we had a lot more ahead of us. I cursed myself for not being stronger. Looking up to see how much more of a climb we had left, I knew we wouldn't make it. Steadying the bike, I turned around to look down and thought of how far of a fall we'd have. Without a doubt, we'd be separated by the tumble. I apologized to my mother in English, telling her in tears that I was sorry but that I knew I couldn't go any higher.
She answered me back in Spanish, "My poor daughter, don't worry. God will take care of it."
As I slowed, we lost our momentum and the bike began to teeter and veer sideways. I gripped the handlebars hard to keep control, but we came to a standstill. I shouted out to my mother, bracing her for what was about to come and warning her that it would be fast. We fell to the snow, sideways, somehow both of us managing to stay on the bicycle. Relieved that she was still with me, I grabbed for her quickly with my right hand.
But just as my fingertips came close enough to feel her skin, she flew.
Auggie and my mother, Christmas 2012
Dreams are worth diamonds and gold.
We had a Doctor's appointment yesterday for my mother. The Doctor matter of factly told us that she has entered end stage renal disease, and that her kidneys are "sputtering." He also said that she is doing remarkably well and plans on seeing her again in two months.
I was blessed with this dream last night.
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