Saturday, March 16, 2013

Gift



I dreamed last night that I was peddling a bicycle up a long, steep hill, that was deeply covered in snow, with my mother on the back of the bicycle. We had made it three-fourths of the way up, but not easily, and I had pushed my legs as far as they could go.

My legs were spent, but I knew that we had a lot more ahead of us. I cursed myself for not being stronger. Looking up to see how much more of a climb we had left, I knew we wouldn't make it. Steadying the bike, I turned around to look down and thought of how far of a fall we'd have. Without a doubt, we'd be separated by the tumble. I apologized to my mother in English, telling her in tears that I was sorry but that I knew I couldn't go any higher.

She answered me back in Spanish, "My poor daughter, don't worry. God will take care of it."

As I slowed, we lost our momentum and the bike began to teeter and veer sideways. I gripped the handlebars hard to keep control, but we came to a standstill. I shouted out to my mother, bracing her for what was about to come and warning her that it would be fast. We fell to the snow, sideways, somehow both of us managing to stay on the bicycle. Relieved that she was still with me, I grabbed for her quickly with my right hand.

But just as my fingertips came close enough to feel her skin, she flew.

Auggie and my mother, Christmas 2012

 Dreams are worth diamonds and gold.
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We had a Doctor's appointment yesterday for my mother. The Doctor matter of factly told us that she has entered end stage renal disease, and that her kidneys are "sputtering." He also said that she is doing remarkably well and plans on seeing her again in two months. 

I was blessed with this dream last night.
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36 comments:

  1. What a beautiful blessing of a dream. Praying for your mother and you today.

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    1. You're always so kind, Tracie. THANK YOU.

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  2. "Dreams are worth diamonds and gold."

    Amen love, you're in my thoughts today...

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  3. i can def see where it would be a reassurance you know....esp in light of the doctor visit....wish you both the best with this....

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    1. It was exactly that, B. Peace.

      Thank you.

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  4. Wow! What an amazing gift that dream was. It's even more wonderful when you really think about the fact that it came from you, the dream manifested itself from what you know in your subconscious. You know she has faith, and you know she will fly. Diamonds and gold indeed.

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  5. Replies
    1. Dusty, know how much I appreciate this dream. And know that I know, it was a gift.

      XO to you always XO

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  6. Two words that are great to hear, "remarkably well". Sending the best to both of you, along with prayers for continuing wellness.

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  7. If you don't mind, I'll include your mom in my daily devotional.

    Yetserday, friday, was the 1 year anniversary of my father in law passinga way fron cancer. we had a great celebration at his grave yesterday, just telling stories and drinking pepsi (his favorite drink). when we got home I found out that my family's easter egg hunt event had been canceled due to my grandmother's failing health, It all just reminded me how precious life is and how we should tell our loved ones how much they mean to us. I called my Grandma and just let her talk.

    Your dream was beautiful.

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  8. It's so true. I believe it. All through the bible He talks to people in visions and dreams. love it.

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  9. Thinking of you, my sweet. xo

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    1. Thank you, A. You are such a light in my life, and the lives of so many others.

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  10. Beautiful Blessing. These gifts we should always recognize : )

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  11. Dreams are diamond and gold. Sometimes, I don't want to let go and wake up, but I suppose they wouldn't be so special if we could hold them. Your mom will be in my thoughts.

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  12. Oh sweetie. I am holding you in light and love. Ella va a volar como un angel. Estoy seguro de esto.

    xoxo

    Jen

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  13. Wow, what an interesting synchronicty of a dream. I love that.

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    1. I believe in dreams. Not so much their symbolism but the feeling they translate. For me, long story short -- but our relationship has a history of difficult times. The way she disappears just as I feel her skin is the grand summary of this year of me taking care of her, and at last getting to know the life long mystery that she was to me -- just as she has let down her guard, and helped me understand why and how of everything, she leaves.

      Thank you so much for caring. Really.

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  14. Oh my darling Alex. Wow. Wow. I'm not surprised at all you had such a beautiful telling dream. Pretty sure your Spirit largely dwells in the Underworld itself, which is why you and I are such good friends.

    I think of you often, wondering about all of the unsaid things that are happening in your life and your head, off this blog. I think of your sister too.

    XXXXXXX

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  15. Our subconscious (or God?) speaking to us just when we need the reassurance is spectacularly amazing, you know? I'm glad you were given that gift and you are both in my thoughts.

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    1. Thank you, Arnebya. What a 2013 it's been. xo

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  16. Wish I was there to give you a hug. You know I'm thinking of you.

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  17. That dream is precious and a reflection of the value of your relationship with your mother. Each day is a blessing. I'm praying for you both. xoxo

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  18. I love you, sweet girl. You and your mother are in my prayers.

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  19. It's so incredibly powerful, Alexandra. I had my own take on it but then I read your response to Secret Agent Woman above and I completely understand. It's true that it's the emotions rather than the events of a dream that we are to pay attention to.

    You've done important work this year with your mother and I know you will never regret it. My prayers are with your mother and you.

    Hugs xoxo

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    1. I'd love to hear your take, Ceci. I love dreams.

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  20. If she is anything like you, she's going to kick ass and take names later.
    Her spirit sounds so strong.
    much love and added strength your way. I put Chuck's beard on speed dial. xo

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  21. What a fabulous dream...such strength. I love how close your little man is to your mom, and the expression on his face.

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  22. I put a lot of stock in dreams for reasons spanning superstition to outright accuracy in what is shown. Thoughts & prayers for you & your mom.

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  23. Love you my friend. I love your dream too. So cool, because it seems like God is really reassuring you.

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  24. And so it goes. We try so hard to control things. There are some things we can't fix. Some mountains we can't climb.

    All in our time.

    xo

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