Sunday, September 21, 2014

The Right People for You

Posing by a giant skull, because they get it...

During a sociology class in college, I remember our professor saying that the most successful relationships are those where both parties share the same values.

Like being with people who will pose in front of a giant skull, no questions asked, because they know you like to do things without having to explain. And they even smile while doing it.

Shared values with people who believe you and don't try to talk you out of things. When you tell them you mean it, you don't want store bought cards but a letter from the heart instead -- even though it's more work for them, they give you that letter from the heart instead.
The wondercards

When you share values with someone, you will go to the grocery store when it's cold and raining for ingredients because home-made spaghetti in is what you prefer to a birthday dinner out.

Today we celebrated my birthday, and I spent it in a way that holds worth for me. A meal made by my husband, cards made by my children, and a visit to see my son who is away at college.

We went walking, and I told of how when I was little, my father would take me with him for a Saturday afternoon beer at a corner tavern. He'd place a single dollar on the counter, light up a cigarette, and sip his foamy beer while I sat, legs dangling off the bar where he had set me, nibbling from a foil-wrapped Hershey candy bar. It was just me and my father, and these private times together are a treasured memory. My husband tried to re-create my childhood afternoons inside of a suburban five dollar a glass wine bar instead of a ten-cent-tap city tavern. He doesn't smoke so he puffed on a pretzel stick instead. Our children were mortified, but I was thrilled, and my stomach ached from laughing.

So suave and sophisticated
I knew someone years ago who, when she found out it had been my birthday, asked me, "What did you get?" I told her everything I wanted, a home-made meal, and crayoned cards from my children. She told me she'd be angry if there was no dinner out, and no gifts.

I couldn't believe what she said, and she hurt my feelings with how she thought I had "no gifts." She wasn't the right people for me.

Looking at these pictures, I wonder how she could say no gifts?

Shared values. The most important determining factor in friendships, relationships, with the people we know.

The right people for me are the people right here. The ones who understand, and gift me, with exactly what I hold dear to my heart.

I love you, my family, I love you so very much. Thank you for a wonderful birthday.
* * *


  1. Lovely. Crying happy tears for you.

  2. I have a good life, Jenny. I know that I do. Thank you.

  3. I love that your people are your people.

  4. This made me tear up, Alexandra, because I know exactly what you mean. I'm so glad that your birthday was all that you wanted it to be.
    And the pictures are awesome. Especially the hugging one. And the look on Augie's face when your husband smokes the pretzel. Can't put a price on that.

  5. I love you and your family.
    So glad you had an amazing birthday. xoxo

  6. I see more "gifts" in this birthday than some people could ever hope for.

  7. I love your people. And you.

  8. This reminds me of a Lou Reed Song, 'Oh What a Perfect Day' And you are right - you have the best presents! xo

  9. Wonderful. Just wonderful. You, your family, your heart.

  10. I love you, Alexandra. You and your family are just so lovely!

  11. Sounds like the PERFECT birthday, in my opinion! You are indeed blessed.

  12. You have the sweetest family Alexandra. That's something to cherish for sure. And I love that you got your picture taken in front of a giant skull. You would love my skull collection. I'm not kidding!

  13. I love you. Happy birthday. Adam says dinner with you and Mark soon. We can all smoke pretzels.

  14. Thanks you, everyone. It was a great birthday, and feels right for me. You're all the greatest. xo

  15. Ah, that was lovely. Your husband is one cool dude for recreating that precious memory. Beautiful.

  16. Love the pretzel smoking picture. Auggie's face is priceless. So glad you had such an amazing day.

  17. This is so perfect. You really did get a lot of gifts. :)

  18. Jenny: Isn't Auggie's face great, here?
    Leigh Ann: it really was the best. xo



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