Thursday, March 12, 2015

I'm Just Like Madonna

Madonna and I almost have the same birthday.

Madonna and I had our first babies at the same time.

Madonna's baby grew up and left for college.

Mine did too!

Did she tell her baby the same things I told my baby when he left?

It turns out that we did!

Of course, there are slight variations and we may differ in style, because we're all special snowflakes, but mostly, Madonna and I sent our firstborn children off  to school with the same words. Except she says her child is at "university" and I call it "college" sounding like Ice Cube in 22 Jump Street at :50.

Madonna swears she's just like any other mom who has to explain the lyrics to songs like "S.E.X." As she says, her kids know it's just "mom being mom."

Me too! I was in our local paper, bottom inside page, 1/2 inch by 1/2 inch space right above the table of contents. It was about me blogging. People came up to my children telling them they saw me in the paper again and my kids said the same thing as Rocco and Lourdes, "Just mom being mom!"

She calls Carson Daly, "my man." Boom. The same words I use when our recycling guy comes on Monday mornings and lets me sneak in an extra bag without the mandatory lid closing stipulation! "My man!'" *high five*

Does Madonna worry about Lourdes killing too many brain cells while at "university"? She does. That's why she advises her daughter to "try and go to class, try and study, try to not kill all your brain cells at once."

Here is where Madonna and I differ. I tell my kids straight out the truth about alcohol. That it causes permanent brain damage from just one beer. (who knew, right?)

The list of similarities between us is confounding. I'm not allowed to attend "university" games, neither is she. Madonna dresses like a matador, so did my mother for a costume party in 1959.

If you overlook the "try not to drink" advice and the "university" versus college, along with having capes pulled off your back while you're dressed like Maleficent, then Madonna and I are sooo *likethis.*

Remove the tequila shots for breakfast on morning shows, and the resemblance blows my mind.

But get ready for this: did you know we both use BenGay in the morning? 




  1. I'mma need to see an image of you wearing a torpedo-breast corset. Please. Also, do you sometimes fall down the stairs when your cape is tied too tightly?

    1. In my life, when the kids are off at school, MIRROR image of Madonna!

  2. I've thought since the moment I met you that you're totally like Madonna. You have a better wardrobe than she has, and are a teensy, tiny bit more aware on racism than she seems to be. But...totally. Twinsies.

    1. So much in common.... she just has a helluva lot more desperate drive and determination. I'm too meh.

  3. I find you to be far more clever than Madonna.



Related Posts with Thumbnails