The Week's Best

As always, good stuff on the internet this week. Sharing a few with you tonight. Pick one, pick two, and enjoy the read!

--For those who like to find a good read, here's one I fell in love with from a brand new to me blog: O Mighty Crisis (you'll love this story, goosebumps)

--From the blog, The Mind Unleashed, 22 Unbelievable Places To Visit That Really Exist. (so exquisite and lovely to daydream about)

--From one of my favorite people on the internet, the bloggess, writing on how good it feels to feel good. We all have those days -- for me, it would be when a migraine finally leaves -- that remind us of just how light we are when we are free of pain, heartfelt or bodyfelt: "There's a moment"

--From the blogger at Smacksy, Lisa Page Rosenberg, writing with humor and sincerity about her new venture into raw eating. Easy to follow, true life experiences, she tries food in a variety of ways and tells of how life changing the switch to raw has been for her and her family. I really like it. Check her out on My Raw Blog. 

Enjoy the summer, everyone!

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My List of Superpowers

My Weight Manipulation Power – a thing to marvel. Given enough spandex and acrylic blend, I am able to fit 5 '5” of this, into amounts of fabric you wouldn't believe.

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I'm not the person I appear to be. Of course, I am the blogger behind this blog, but there is much I haven't divulged. With all the Marvel comic book movies and Super Hero movies out this summer, the time seems right to make this announcement.

I have Superpowers. Or super powers. Also super-powers.

I don't blow things up, except for out of proportion. I don't rearrange furniture telepathically, I mean, I have my teenage sons for that. What I'm doing here today is coming super-clean about some super-extra abilities.

Like, my Super Cleaning Up for Surprise Company Power. It's every drawer, closet, under the sofa and under the bed space for themselves.

My Ability to Spot the Pretend Shower Takers in the house. I stealthily walk past and grab a sniff of their certain best giveaway emitting spots.

My Sonic Scream, comes with a side of super yelling power.

My Ability to Drive Way too Fast in Roundabouts Power then complaining about not *getting* roundabouts but then being aggressive in them. (ain't nobody entering this roundabout while I'm in the house)

My Keeping the House Clean for Over Five Hours Power. A lot to believe, but then, super power, remember?

My Smart Power. I can dazzle the members of this household into thinking I hold ten PhDs.

My Mystifying Power. This very same brilliance that dazzles becomes a point of bewilderment when they see me trying to figure out a smartphone.

My Reality Changing Power. I can change the way my kids' weekends are going to go versus the way they think their weekend is about to go with a snap, in the face of any smart a** lip.

My Embellishing Power. Who retells a family tale better than me? Very few, my beautiful children.  But, feel welcome to try.

My Stand Up to Bullies Power. Affectionately called, “I have no problem calling parents on the phone” power.

My Band-aid Power. Sadly, no one has requested this superpower for at least three years.

My Getting Kids to Bed Power. Unequalled when presented along with my Power slogan,  "Ya stay up, ya clean up.”

Meanest Mom Power. I'm a pro at this.

My Age Manipulation Power. I'm able to resist and deny the AARP cards and offers to teach Silver Zumba that arrive in my mailbox with an alarming growing frequency.

My Ability to Cause Waves of Nausea with my On the Spot Rapping to the Radio Power. Often confused with car sickness.

The good news is this, I'm still pretty much the person you've come to know here. I've just decided you should know that there's a reason it looks like I get more done than is humanly possible. It's about time we all start telling the truth about ourselves and quit pretending, that we have no extra help.

*UPDATE: new super power has just been added, that of Unfairest Mom. 

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Immediate Opening

Immediate Opening: All Grill Meisters invited to apply! Walk-ins welcome.

Applications and interviews being held one day only, this Saturday, beginning at 10 a.m. All applicants must be open to immediate availability. Weekends a must for this pending grill position to family of four; three children, one mother: all hearty eaters.

Cooking entries begin promptly at 10 a.m, and are open to the public, professional or non-professional. Trials will begin with simple basic meat entree preparation and food handling safety. Remaining competition entrants will then progress to side dishes and food safety, with special attention to mayonnaise based sauces. Participants may bring own food or specialty items, but staple items of ground beef and rib eyes will be available for purchase on site.

Further required knowledge to include:
--Full comprehensive understanding of safety information, backyard safety, and grilling techniques is expected.
--Entrants will be tested in written and oral form for working knowledge of how to build a controllable fire, how to choose the safest grill for your loved ones, pros and cons of gas versus charcoal, chimney starter over lighter fluid, taming flames, and prompt handling of flare-ups.
--Practical common sense application of proper placement of grill from low lying tree branches, awareness of location of children and pets from proximity of grilling area at all times, proper clothing attire while grilling, and a respect for exploding sausages is required.
--Grillers may register for up to four categories: marinating, smoking, grilling, and flame extinguishing.

*Entry fee of $5.00.
*Live music, food, refreshments and exposure to potential additional employment by others in neighborhood.

This event is sponsored by the Schmidt Family in hopes of replacing their former grill master whose wife has legally restrained from ever setting his GD charred eyebrows and singed chest hair near their children or their family’s Char-Broil four-burner gas grill for the remaining duration of their marriage.

Proceeds will go to purchase of new Char-Broil with side-burners and welder’s mask and vest for next Schmidt Family Grill Master.

Added sign-on bonus of $50 gift card to Hank's Grillin' for Grillers Depot Supply and a one-year subscription to Kingsford's BBQ Culture Quarterly will go to the successful griller.

Interested parties are asked to not arrive in Wisconsin Badger T-shirts, flip-flops, and backwards facing baseball caps in consideration of the Schmidt children and the potential of charcoal starter fluid triggered PTSD.

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When Do You "Get Over It"

One in seven women will experience postpartum mood disorder. 19 years ago, I was one of those women. It's been almost 20 years, and I still advocate, help raise funds, and share my story. People ask me when I'll get over it.

As long as there are women having babies, I won't be "over" it. That time in my life was one of the most challenging, where I learned the meaning of struggle, support, community, the importance of health care and treatment, and hope.

Hope was as important as my physician's care and my family's support. I needed to believe I would get better. I had a health care nurse at the time who promised me I wouldn't always feel the way I did. It was hard for me to believe her, I felt I would never get back to who I was. In my bones, I feared I would never "get over" whatever it was that had its hold on me.

She told me I would make it through, because she had seen it. I asked her to tell me of every single woman she knew that had survived, and so she did. With a leap of faith, I grabbed those stories of  hope and hung on to them until the belief of survival became my own. I saw those dark days through  and on to a life of triumph.

Women with postpartum mood disorder can get better. For this to happen, we need community, resources, support, awareness, medical care and treatment, and a safe place where we find acceptance and connection. Once the curtain of shame, stigma, fear and isolation are lifted, women can begin their journey back to recovery. And one of the biggest predictors of recovery is SUPPORT.

Besides being a proud PPMD survivor, I also am a contributor and Warrior Mom for the national nonprofit, Postpartum Progress. PPP offers in-depth information, community and hope for pregnant and new moms by raising awareness, fighting stigma and providing peer support to women with maternal mental illness.

Today, June 21, is national "Climb Out of the Darkness" day for the postpartum information website, Postpartum Progress. COTD is an international fund raising and awareness raising event where 120 teams 40 states and 6 countries climb metaphorically to represent the climb out and the climb back to themselves. It is the world's largest event for moms with PPMD.

I am climbing today, along with thousands of other women, because "Together, we are stronger."

To see more about Climbs or to find one near you, please click here.

Most importantly, if you know of a mother struggling, or if you yourself are experiencing or think you are experiencing postpartum symptoms, please check the Postpartum Progress site for information on how you can find help.

Thank you. And to all of my fellow PPMD mamas climbing today, I'm so proud of you.

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We're No Longer Living in Caves

Some will say that what I'm talking about here doesn't exist in their life. They've evolved out of it or never felt it, never thought like this, nor associate with people like this. They may say that anyone who thinks like this or knows people like this, brings it upon themselves for being in such a circle of mentality.

They won't need this post.

 

But I'm going to be honest here, and talk about two things that exist in the world, jealousy and insecurity. We see something, we want it -- it's not a nice feeling. It's close to either anger or depression, depending on how you react to it. It's easy to be happy for someone when good things happen to them if you like them and they're your friend, but if it's someone you don't know or if it's more of someTHING that you wish for yourself or your family, that could make it harder to high five that universe that's smiling on this person right now.

Why is there jealousy? Years ago, during a Sociology 101 class in college, our professor told us there is a biological need filled by every human behavior. When we studied jealousy, envy, coveting, what we learned made sense. Our textbook explained that in cave-dwelling primitive times, physical assessment and determination by others about others, was necessary to weed out any threats to our well-being and survival. We had to guard our offspring, make sure we populated. We had no Whole Foods to run to for our mastodon meat and we needed to fiercely keep our meat provider for ourselves. We had to watch and guard and whatever else we needed to do so that we could stay alive and multiply.

If another person was considered a threat to this, our brain put us on high alert. Guard guard guard! The possibility of losing our life partner was everything. When a woman needed a man to bring down a mammoth to feed her children, she had to watch out for any risk. When a man could lose the caretaker of his children or the source of his offspring, it was a threat to his lineage. All so Paleolithic and club-thumping, I know.

But that was jealousy's purpose: protection. Do we still need jealousy now? We still have it. Jealousy for some is closely tied to insecurity, painfully making them question their abilities. For others, it runs along the same vein as loss of social position, no longer being Top #1 and tumbling down out of  choice offers and status. Then there is the straight out covet. We want it, prizes, awards, looks, money, status, title, accolades, power, IT. Do we still need to feel envy? Because it's there, rearing its head, instinctively.

Is our biological evolution flawed in this area?

 

With awareness, can we change the instincts that fly to our brains faster than our ability to talk it through. Rather than being scared or sinking low because our minds tell us someone is better, we can reprogram that millions-of-years-old behavior and wipe out that message that shouts threat threat threat. 

 

If we all aspire, do the work and put in the time, then we can't help but get better at anything we do. I know that for some, that thought provides little comfort – the fall back is to resist change, because change is work, and look how easy it is to be led by trigger emotions and blame it on circumstance, situation, other people. Unfairness. Even if it is true.

If you've made it this far in this post, let me take the words out of your mouth, What the heck brought this on? I'm writing this for myself as much as I'm writing it for anyone reading it. Right now, I'm battling with the insecurity of seeing parents pulling out all the stops for their kids this summer. Caribbean vacations, thousand dollar camps, backyard parties with catered menus, day adventures that run in the hundreds of dollars. I can't do this. Each of my children have their dreams, and the years go by with time shrinking the chance to ever give them what they hope for. The oldest has talked of Hawaii since he was five. After the middlest saw the shores of Sanibel Island on a PBS kids' show, he'd share the exact types of seashells he'd look for. And my youngest, asking for Disneyland, meanwhile, his height inches closer to my 5 foot 5 inch frame. I feel the visceral sting of not being able to set the stage for memories and a childhood that I imagine other children will have, that when compared to the flat memories my mind tricks me into believing will be my children's -- some days, it does me in. My shoulders droop. A not so nice dialogue runs through my head. 

 

I've made a decision, that this instinctive thread of jealousy and insecurity that live on a specific strand of Neanderthal club-wielding DNA is not going to win. As if I haven't evolved in two million years.

 

I don't have a cave mind and if I need meat, there's a Whole Foods eight minutes away.

 

"A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms." - Sensei Ogui

 

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