Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Mrs. That Almost Stayed A Miss


Thank you to Amanda @It'sBlogworthy for inspiring this post. Though her story worked out to be a marriage proposal on bended knee at dawn on the beach, mine? Well, mine had destiny nervous for a few moments....
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I was unaware that the man I had been dating for a year was going to be the man I married. We hadn't yet spoken of marriage, which suited us both fine. He had made no promises nor given any hints regarding a possible future together, so I couldn't claim to be misled or disappointed.

He was content with dating, and he was an affable enough fellow that I continued to date him. He was employed, respected the practice of personal hygiene, and had no addictions. Given all that, continued dating with no end in sight would fit into my schedule.

It was my birthday and he had called to ask me out to dinner. At the time, he was traveling internationally, and our times, when together, were spent doing nice things at nice places with nice food.

I knew he would have a special dinner planned since he was home for just a few days. I was anticipating romance, attention, and perhaps a gift from abroad. He was coming to pick me up at 6:30 p.m. As I waited for him, I thought of how I was ready to sit, talk, be wined and dined, celebrated and toasted to.

He arrives, 6:50 p.m., and his face has a look of grief and concern, as if he's lost something. He is also unusually quiet. I ask if everything is all right, he answers yes, that it is, but nothing more. He is twenty minutes late, which is not like the punctual man he has been for over a year. But I don't want to start the night off on the wrong foot, so I say nothing. But, things feel odd and tense and he doesn't smile to see me. We go in his car, and I promise to not bring up being late unless it happens a second time. If there is a second time.

While he is driving, he looks straight ahead and makes no mention of his trip to Germany, though he was gone for ten days. I attempt conversation, but I feel as if I'm in the car with a coyote; all I hear is "yup. yup. yup." to any question I ask.

Well, perhaps he has jet lag, I think to myself. We drive along, but I don't know about this night, which is starting to feel like a duty he's fulfilling since it's my birthday. I'm hungry, I have to go to work the next day, and I've got a new dress that I've bought for tonight on. But he doesn't notice that red is my color, nor how the gold button earrings play up my dark hair. I decide I will enjoy this meal, be just as affable back, and celebrate being with someone on my birthday.

We arrive at the restaurant, he parks, and then asks me to wait--sitting in the car. He always hops over to my side of the car and opens the door. Now I know, this is the farewell wrong place, wrong time speech we're leading up to.

I oblige, count to sixty seconds, then step out of the car. I see him in the vestibule of the restaurant, fingers jostling in his front pockets and well, you don't want to know what this looks like to me.

He then steps toward me and I see him, with his lips pressed tight. He walks as stiff as a robot, and together with the furrowed brow leftover from when he first picked me up, I can't read a thing about him. Is it agitation? Is it avoidance? I let him catch up to me and we walk alongside. I slide my arm into his, and he jumps twenty feet in the air.

I withdraw and drop his arm like an electric wire. I take a deep breath. I do not want to bicker in a parking lot on my birthday with a new dress and a growling stomach. I can make it through this dinner, I'll order something light, like whitefish since anything else will sink like a rock. We enter the restaurant, and the hostess seems to know him. She places her mouth inches from his ear and I imagine her whispering, "Tonight. Dump her. Got it?"

His tone back to her is a nodding rushed yes. They are in deep communion. He turns to me and asks me AGAIN to wait a bit, this time in the front hallway. He and the hostess whisper back and forth again and we're shown to a table. He keeps his hand in his pocket, I attempt to reach for the one he has resting on the table, and he pulls back as if I've extended a lobster claw.

Without warning, he stands from his chair and says he needs to check something in the car. I have now entered "whatever" land. I can no longer enjoy my meal, and think, OK. nice guy and all, but I just can't see what is going on between us... I know I should try and read between the lines but there's a lot of lines to read here.

A few minutes pass and he returns, his hand still in the front pocket. We eat a silent dinner. I say it's time for me to get home early, I have to be at work at 7:30, and I saintly offer him an excuse of how he must have jet lag.

He looks at me, his eyes wide with shock. I think, This can't be good. I can't believe he is HAVING A GOOD TIME??? You're kidding, right?This is SOOOOOO not a good sign. All I can see is red flags. Red flags all over the place.

He tells me he wants to take a drive to the lakefront. I agree, thinking maybe we'll talk and he can come clean about the hostess taking my place. And it's the least I can do, because I already know this is the last time for me too.

We drive there, and I see a white horse and carriage waiting. I am jealous of the couple that will be celebrating their love to the romantic clip clop of horse's hooves, because I know it won't be us. Then, turning his body in an awkward broken movement, he takes my hand and walks toward the carriage. His other hand won't leave the front pants pocket. Now I'm the one with the furrowed brow, but mine is out of confusion. We climb into the white cab, I move to sit closer to him. I make the mistake of having hope and I reach for the dang hand in his pocket. But he's not having any of it and digs it back in deeper.

In one last moment of dreaming out loud, I convince myself his madness is jet lag or traveler's fever. I make up that last one because, how can I explain all that is going on like a poorly written screenplay. No continuity of thought! I want to shout.

But if he was protective of the hidden hand before, he's grown thrice that level now. I mentally steel myself for the coming weekend of me and two quarts of Ben & Jerry's Death by Chocolate. It's not like I haven't had practice with those kinds of weekends before. I know I'll be sad, but as always, like a phoenix I will rise.

We're sitting in a beautiful red velvet interior of a fairy tale carriage, and I can't immerse myself in any of it because he continues with his pocket patting fetish. I am ready to jump out of the horse cab by now, but it's moving too fast. It's also getting cold outside, dark... and I've got new black T-straps that match this new red dress. And so I sit.

I will finish this night, and I will cherish this buggy ride. I close my eyes, and I relish the sound of the horse's hooves on the quiet street.

And this is where it gets strange.

There is a five star hotel up ahead and the driver is pulling the horse to enter the circle drive. My date jerks his hand out of his pocket, I check it to see if he's been hiding a bandaged injury all night but instead of gauze and stay clips I see a small, white box.

My date's face is set like stone, locked and looking straight ahead with a determination for what, I don't know. He licks his lips and I wonder why he feels he needs to give me a goodbye present as he leaves me for the hostess. I take the little white box he offers and snap it open it to see what I'm Sorry jewelry looks like. But there is no consolation gift inside.

In the darkness of the cab, with the streetlight hitting it just right from behind, there is a miniature firework of sparkles sitting inside black velvet. A breathtaking diamond solitaire shoots light from the middle of a gold band. It is an engagement ring, where a pair of modestly priced gold earrings should be.

My mouth crowns open as everything begins to make sense. I begin to laugh, then cry, then I apologize for the way I was never going to see him again but he asks me to wait. I say, "pocket petting, scared, worried." I think of all the perverted pocket padding this poor man did to ensure the ring hadn't fallen out, all the up and down and walking ahead so he could check to be sure the ring was still in the pocket. The poor sweet man.

The rest of the evening splits into a surreal memory. I remember staring at the ring in the moonlight (really ... it was a full moonlit night) and being so very surprised. I marvel at the planning he did from abroad and the secrecy of the night and the chance that he took. We had never discussed marriage, I could have said no.

Later that night, as I finally held his long sought after hand, I asked him to tell me the reason he had decided to propose in that way, with me not suspecting a thing. He answered, "If you knew it was coming, where's the romance in that? I wanted you to remember, always, whether you said yes or no, I wanted you to be remember."

Which I do, in more than just receiving the ring, but in him, and who he was, and how he made this plan of marriage more than a proposal, but a gesture of showing what I meant to him.

And his reason is why this picture exists, showing me as a Mrs., when just hours earlier that birthday evening, I thought that he would be returning me home, vowing to stay a Miss.



My response that night, through grateful tears of relief: "Oh, thank God, I thought you were crazy." Which is, Yes.

___________

87 comments:

  1. What a great story. When he asked you, you should have said "whatever".

    Great picture too..

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  2. What a terrific memory! Something you'll be able to share with your kids and grandkids!

    Well told, Alexandra! Well done, Mr. Emperor!

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  3. What a beautiful tale of almost not making it out of the gate.

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  4. What a great story. Good thing you were nice enough not to kick him to the curb by dessert.

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  5. Wow such a great story....my husband sucks...no surprise and we can't even agree where we gotta engaged each have a different "memory"! Love romance! Beautiful couple!

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  6. Your Majesty: I just saw your comment on Mary's blog. The comment saying you had just picked white asparagus. So, I'm introducing myself and hope that I live near enough to you to come pick (or pick up) some of that white asparagus. I, too, live in a small midwest town (near a really big midwest town) so, If you're near enough, please send a map.

    Best,
    Bonnie

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  7. This is such a beautiful story. That explained the hand in his pocket! Even my Dad proposed to my Mom on her Birthday...:)

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  8. That's an amazing surprise. Anytime a story includes the potential for pants filling I am riveted!

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  9. How many times does this happen in a gals life?
    Dinner with a possible serial killer with a patting fetish turns out to a very nervous man getting ready to propose!
    Great story..

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  10. Sshhhh. Just popping my head out of my self imposed writer's hole to say Hiiii!

    What a great story. And the fact that you all hadn't even discussed marriage was such an integral part of the romantic surprise! You looked gorgeous, my dear!

    My hubs asked me at dinner and I should have known something was up too because he was so nervous and distracted the whole night. He actually had the waiter put it on the dessert tray and offer it to me as a dessert. Then, when my husband slid the ring on my finger he knocked over our bottle of wine and spilled red wine all over the table and us. The waiters converged to clean it up and all oohed and ahhhed and toasted us.

    It was just perfect.

    Okay, sliding back down into my writer's hole. I hope to be back at the beginning of next week.

    Thank you again, a thousand times over, Empress.

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  11. THAT was a fun read - you know there's a ring involved and still I don't jump to the end.

    nice to meet your empress!

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  12. Look at that gorgeous couple!

    This is how my husband 'proposed': "So I guess it's time to get a ring." He was driving his studly Subaru during this romantical interlude.

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  13. Oh, I love this story! You had me laughing outloud (coyote and Eddie Murphy and your bullet points...) and the end is sweet. The poor man. It's easy to forget how nervewracking it can be to be the guy. I have a girlfriend - very sexy, confident type - who was dating a nervous accountant. She said he'd get so nervous that he'd drop the peas off his fork and trip on his own two feet. I told her, oh, give the poor guy a break; his knees are weak because of you.

    I know things were a blur but I would have loved to know how you responded - was it an immediate yes?

    My husband also proposed to me on my birthday. Only difference is that I had already bought my wedding dress before the proposal so, yeah, I knew it was coming (we had talked in detail about the wedding...the proposal was a formality...we work backwards...).

    You look just beautiful!

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  14. What a wonderful story - you had me laughing, and almost in tears. I always envy those who got a special proposal. Mine was just....weird. And stupid.

    I am glad you stuck it out for the night!

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  15. Hi Empress!

    Just wanted to let you know that you have an award post on my blog!

    You can get it HERE

    Congratulations!!

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  16. What a beautiful couple you both make. A story to be passed down to the next generation.

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  17. What a great story! That patting of the pockets thing is definitely creepy. My proposal was on Christmas Eve and he put the ring in a decorative box - I have a thing for decorative boxes. Scared the living beejeesus out of me. I think I didn't even know what it was at first... :)

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  18. "Where's the romance in that?" you have a keeper!

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  19. Your hubbins is a darling man! Can you imagine how NERVOUS he was the whole evening?? Oh that is great. Love this!

    You two made a gorgeous couple on your wedding day!

    Kiss him for me.

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  20. What a sweet story. Such a romantic, your man!

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  21. I think my mind would have gone through much the same kind of thinking yours did. The hand in the pocket all evening is just too funny! Poor guy!!! I'm so glad it all worked out and what a beautiful bride you were, and a very good looking couple!

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  22. For some reason, the hubs and I were discussing yesterday how he didn't think I would fare well should I ever decide to jump out of a moving vehicle. It may have been mentionned that I don't own any shoes that would make that exercise even remotely practical...or possible.

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  23. THIS is so ADORABLE!
    I love it. Thanks for sharing, it's very romantic.

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  24. Such a beautiful photo! I love that the smile goes all the way to your eyes.....that shares a great deal...

    What a fantastic memory!

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  25. What a great story. Good you thing you stuck that one out! I wish I had an adorable or sweet or romantic proposal story. Instead, whenever anyone asks, we mostly just giggle or roll our eyes and then make something up.

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  26. my huz is getting punched in the face when he gets home.

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  27. I was such a dumb blonde: my then-boyfriend kept asking what my dream scenarios would be for a proposal, if I wanted a big wedding, all that kind of stuff. Still, I hadn't a clue till we pull up in front of his parent's house and he pulls that blue box out of his glove compartment.

    I guess I'm still that way because he can hint and hint at surprises and still manage to blow me away!

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  28. ahh! I love this story! Engagement stories are the best. And I have to agree, being surprised is so much better than knowing in advance. I love how strange they act before...my hubby knew what the answer would be and he was nervous. Can't imagine how nervous yours would have been!

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  29. OK this just made my morning. I loved, loved this post. Your writing is brilliant. I laughed, I cried, you know the rest.

    This is hilarious and touching and I fell in love with both of you.

    You've inspired me. I might have to write about my proposal.

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  30. What a great story! I am way too much of a control freak to have welcomed such a surprise, and I cannot imagine the courage it took for him to propose this way! I am in awe.

    Of you both.

    And the photo? Is awesome.

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  31. What a lovely story, and I definitely needed on this morning.

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  32. Funny and sweet. Love the wedding photo. What a beautiful couple!

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  33. Such a great and funny story. I'm a romantic, too. Judy and I had stopped off at the Electrolux store to pickup some bags for my upright, and were sitting and waiting. I turned to her and asked if she and her kids would be my tax deductions. She agreed; we married on Dec. 31st. Made a killing that year from the IRS.

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  34. so wonderful! guys are so weird when they're proposing. the husband was acting soooo weird the evening he proposed that i was all 'what the heck is wrong with you?!'

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  35. Oh what a beautiful picture of you, looking so very happy. Also what a lovely story, the poor guy, so tense and worried all night, but then it all worked out just magically in the end, didn't it?

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  36. I love this! A romantic at hard. You can't teach that!

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  37. Awww! Very sweet! Smashing picture, too. Y'all look beautiful together. :)

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  38. Absolutely beautiful story! What a great guy to want to please you and surprise you like that. You made a good choice in saying "yes". You look so natural as a couple, like, indeed, you belong together. And you are the essence of what's called a "radiant" bride. Your happiness glows.

    Thanks for sharing that wonderful story!

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  39. What a fantastic story! You have the gift of story-telling. Love it!

    When did you get married? You make a stunning bride?

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  40. Oooooohhhh. I loved this sweet story and the great picture at the end!

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  41. That is a wonderful sweet story, the "nervousness" is so touching. And you two make a great couple!

    I was ironing my husbands shirt for him and he set the box on the ironing board and kind of wandered off a few feet and asked if I'd marry him. I don't know if it was my mean ironing skills or if he was drunk ; )

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  42. Awwww. Sweetness. I was surprised too. And a little annoyed. But happy. And pissed. Still Mostly happy.

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  43. i love that, and i like his way of thinking.

    you (both) look lovely!

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  44. K first off, I love your dress. Second, that is a lovely engagement story. I'm glad he surprised you, and that you stuck around. I would have sulled up at the restaurant and ruined the whole thing.

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  45. So sweet!! I like that you almost thought he was disturbed, but alas you were safe:)

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  46. This was a particularly good post--thanks. Plus it totally brings to mind how knee-quakingly nervous my now-husband was when he proposed. And we had been together SIX YEARS. I mean, I was a SURE THING.

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  47. Oooh, you r flowers were almost as gorgeous as you (read: very)

    I love this story. The man can certainly make a memory.

    Also my word verification is unityrat which I just though you had to know.

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  48. Oh Empress, you look so pretty (and he's very cute!). What a story. Glad you decided to keep him.

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  49. Awwwww!! *sniff* How perfectly adorable, the proposal & the wedding photo! You guys are beautiful, & hopefully he's still trying to surprise you like that from time to time!!

    :-D

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  50. Wow...did he ever take a risk!!! What a great story. Most guys need to KNOW before they ask. I'm very impressed by the Empress' Husband!

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  51. Poor guy probably shat himself 7 different times.

    Glad he turned out to just be nervous and not off his freaking nut!

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  52. love it...a great pic and most delightful tale...i so enjoy hearing peoples stories...and your put a smile on my face...

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  53. I love love stories and you sure had one to tell. It's always so nice to read something like this. Your wedding picture is wonderful. Now from the sublime to the ridiculous - I suspect white asparagus would not work. It would be trumped by the shallots and the leeks.
    Blessings...Mary

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  54. Is it okay for me to just say I love him? That is the best ever. I think it's so awesome that he asked you without you ever having talked about it. Real romance. He's definitely a keeper!

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  55. That is the sweetest proposal story ever. You are a lucky lady -- and I love your attitude about him & marriage, too.

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  56. Wow! What a great story. And how awesome that he took a risk like that! He must be a fun guy to be married to. Thanks so much for sharing that beautiful love story with us. And the photo is absolutely gorgeous. Just like you.

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  57. Hi all : I am pleased as anything that you all liked this story so much. I've got some more good ones, if you'd like: like what happened on our honeymoon...oh goodness, I don't know if you can stand the picture I'm going to post.

    Let's just say, Dork meets dork aka "to every pot there's a lid."

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  58. What a fabulous story!! So very adorable. And in its own way, incredibly romantic and sweet and I could just pinch your husband's cheeks for being so cute. Love it!

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  59. Hey - he let you post a pic of him!!!

    I love love love the story. Sometimes the serious, staid ones make the best moves for romance. Come Oct, I'll post a similar one in honor of our ten year anniversary.

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  60. :D :D

    Beautiful picture!! Both of you look really nice!

    What a story! Hope he reads your post!

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  61. What a fabulous story! And a picture perfect wedding photo! I think my unromantic proposal was something like So, we need to either get married or break up...my husband swears he never said that, maybe it was my interpretation!

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  62. That's definitely a story you wouldn't forget! So much planning! I'm proud of him for you. My hub? Proposed in the mall. Not romantically.

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  63. hahaha i loved the last comment there...

    this is a fantastic storY!!! love it :)

    xoxo
    sara

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  64. What a great story. :) It's always nice when guys make that kind of effort...even if they do come off as somewhat insane. LoL

    My engagement story is a memory...but it is not a PG rated memory...Not even PG-13 really...it's a good story, but I can't tell anyone, dang it...LoL

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  65. Fantastic story. Beats the typical proposal story any day of the week. So humorous, but behind it all, is that love I sense? :)

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  66. I just loved this ... funny how all his plans almost led him to losing you!!!

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  67. Where have I been? Why the heck did I miss this? I'm reading and giggling and giggling and reading like a silly school girl. Didn't have to purchase two airline tickets was the beginning of the end for me. My guy was awfully nervous too, he cancelled our dancing night out and was feeling ill. Glad to know he was so looking forward to the big moment....and unlike you, we had talked about it. Loved the story. Good for him to catch you off guard. You've inspired me to write mine proposal out. Dorito's are integral part of the plot. The junior high students always enjoyed me acting it out for them. You one funny lady!

    Thanks for the very clear warning about the video's, it was much appreciated. Wowsa, look at all your comments! You Go Girl!
    Dana

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  68. that is hilarious! i love that your response was "oh thank god i thought you were crazy!". that is WAY better than my response of "huh?". i love this post idea....if i have any brain cells left in november, i think i'll use it for my anniversary post :)

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  69. I LOVED that story! SO sweet!! :)

    I'm stopping by from SITs and following you now! Have a great day!!

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  70. Oh, this is so sweet! Loved the story, even though I would probably think he'd lost his mind, too. ;)

    Thanks SO much for stopping by The Sweetest Petunia and deciding to follow along with me!

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  71. dang. this was a great post.

    also. do coyotes really go yup yup yup?

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  72. Great story and story telling! Loved it.

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  73. Wow, what a great post and a great story. I can easily see this as being a Hallmark (or beer) commercial. I love your very last comment too about thinking he was crazy. Haha. Pure awesomeness. This is why I love your blog so much.

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  74. What a great memory the two of you have! Beautiful picture. Visiting from the Red Dress Club.

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  75. Awww, I hate and love hearing stories like this. Love because, well, obviously it's beautiful! Hate because it makes me realize how much I missed out on. Neither my first nor my second husband made the experience terribly romantic. Maybe I should have a third just to see what this one would come out with?
    http://www.absolutelynarcissism.blogspot.com

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  76. Oh, I enjoyed that thoroughly! Laugh out loud funny...poor guy. I loved the coyote reference - I have ridden with a coyote before! I know exactly what you meant!

    Wonderful way to start my Monday! Thanks for linking this up to TRDC!

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  77. Thank you for sharing this hysterical story. Honestly, I am not sure I would have said yes!

    Found you through TRDC :-)

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  78. Oh my goodness, I was sure he was about to get dumped, despite the ring mention.

    Poor guy! I'm sure he was trying to play it cool. Lucky he got the girl in the end. :-) Beautiful photo!

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  79. It's refreshing to hear another story of pre-proposal freak outs. Nicely told!

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  80. That's so sweet! I'm sure he was as nervous as all get out, especially with the idea of marriage coming out of nowhere. My husband and I went to look at rings together, and he was still nervous! What a cute couple you are! :)

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  81. Chills from the romance! If it makes you feel any better, my DH knew I would say yes (we had already rented the church and reception site and booked the photog before the actual proposal) and was STILL weird and jumpy. Boys are so funny. But sweet and adorable, too. Lovely story. Thank you for sharing!

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  82. Awe - I love this story. Two lines made me laugh; "He was employed, respected the practice of personal hygiene, and had no addictions" What more do we want??? And, you thought you were in the car with a coyote, yup, yup, yup! So good and so funny. Thank you for sharing this special time in your life.

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