Monday, June 28, 2010

The Pied Piper of Toothville

Monday, and Baby E posts.

Routines. Routines are good. They lend sanity and framework to 3 boys on the loose. In the summer. 3:1.

It's Monday, Baby E's post day: He's glad to be back and has lots to tattle ... ummm ... "say" about his time away. He missed you all!!


First: This is me.
My mom says we still have to do work, even if it is summer. That doesn't make any sense because if you don't have to do school, then you shouldn't have to do work, either. That's what I think. My mom says we can't grow up to be lazy or no one will marry us. She says that all the time.

This is me having to sweep the planters. I think that's a dumb job. But she says I have to do it because I said no to the other choices, too. She says you have to pick something and I said but I don't like what you're giving me to choose. And then she says what she always says about stuff, "Well, then, I'll choose for you." So, I said, "okay okay, I'll sweep the planters." But I don't think I should have to do all of them.

Next, I went on vacation.
Every day I said how much fun it was. Next week, I want to show you a picture of the deepest deepest hole I made on the beach. I dug until I got to water. It was up to my waist when I stood in it. And there was water in the bottom of the hole that stayed there and didn't sink away into the sand.

This is about what I found in the kitchen.
My mom makes me "Lucky Charm" toast. It's toast in the shape of a lucky charm because I like Lucky Charms cereal, too. Anyway, she always make me my toast in that shape and then one day when I look at the dishes I saw a lucky charm cookie cutter and grabbed it and said "so this is how you do it!" and her face went sad and she said, "no! I wanted you to not know my secret!" and her face really did look sad so I told her I could wipe it off the face of my brain with my hand and not remember it. And she said, "really?" and I told her I really could.

This is about my idea:

This one morning I was really tired and when my mom woke me up for my summer classes I said I needed my rusty body oil. And she said, "what?" and I said, "I'm going to first need my warming up oil, then my moving oil. Oil me up, mom, like a rusty robot so I can move."

This is the last story I can say:
My mom likes to put toothpaste on my flute!
I like to take my electric toothbrush and put it in my mouth sideways and pretend it's a flute by rubbing the hard part against my teeth. It works. And then I'll hear my mom come stomping up the stairs to check on me to make sure I'm ready and she catches me playing with my flutebrush and she'll say, "you're supposed to be getting ready" and then she puts toothpaste on my flute and I say, "you're putting toothpaste on my flute" and she says, "yeah, well, the pied piper called and wants his flute back, so brush your teeth" and when she does stuff like that I don't want to laugh, but then I laugh and then I can't be mad and sometimes I want to stay mad and not laugh. But I always laugh, even when I don't want to.

Next week I'll have my picture of the big hole I made..."oh, wait,mom! Can I do one more story?"

O.K. I got really hurt in my games class last week. A kid's skull went hard into my mouth and I had to go to the dentist. I'm better now.



  1. I especially love the Lucky Charm toast story. I felt sorry for your mom though.

  2. Nice post, Baby E. I always hated the work during Summer. I totally agree with what you said. Though, at least some chores are better than School!
    Hope you're teeth are better now from the game.

    Have a good day!:)

  3. I think I need a picture of this lucky charms toast. My kids made lucky charms muffins yesterday. The thing about lucky charms is we always end up with a box of oats. What are you supposed to do with oats?
    Enjoy being a kid, Baby E. When you grow up, its sweeping planters, all the time.

  4. You should listen to your mom. She sounds wise. I also tell my kids that they can't be lazy or smelly- that they will have no friends or future mates. Haha. Great job with your stories. Can't wait to see the picture of that giant hole.

  5. the lazy part is so true!

  6. digging deep holes is really fun! You described your flutebrush really well! I think it's funny what your mom says...
    glad you are back!

  7. Baby E, you aren't the only one having to do chores during the summer. My girls have to do them, too. And they don't like them either.

  8. I love that your mom wants to treat you right by making lucky charms toast. My kids found my secret ingredient in my spaghetti food carrots! They actually think it is pretty cool that I do that.
    Enjoy the day, baby E and mom!

  9. I'm pretty good at wiping away memories from the face of my brain too. It's a very useful skill. :)

  10. Mom is right, gotta keep working so someone will want to marry you. I love it!!!

    Lots of yummy love,
    Alex aka Ma, What's For Dinner

  11. Hey! I'm glad you're back from vacation. I missed your post last week. Threw my week all off kilter. And I'm ready to see the big hole. I'm so ready to go to the beach, I can't stand it. I hope you had enough fun for me, too.

    Lucky charms toast sounds awesome. Good thing you can't remember the trick to it, right? **Winks**

    I need rusty body oil everyday nearly. That's part of getting old though, the mornings seem to come quicker and quicker. I always would make a mess with an electric toothbrush, so I quit using one. But the flute idea is pretty cool! Never would have come up with that one.
    And no more eating kid's skulls! It's NOT what's for dinner!

  12. hahahahaha
    LOVED it all. Especially the flutebrush.

  13. No school=No chores! Love this one So Empress have you found anything for us mothers to use that would = NO MOM WORK?

  14. Honestly Baby E,

    You make me laugh. And I know I always say it, but you have the coolest mom ever (and she's not making me say that). I'm a mom with three kids and I'm not as cool as your mom.

  15. Come on! I am a big supporter of the No School = No chores campaign! Lazy kids of the world, where art thou?! We need to fight back..REALLY!


    Let go of the leash, Mom.

  17. You should invent a toothbrush that plays music like a flute.

  18. Oh, Baby E, I love how your brain works! Chores during the summer does stink, but just think what a prize catch you'll be when you grow up. Plus, if you think about it, moms never get days off. Just imagine if she said, "It's summer, I'm off and don't have to do anything!" A kid could starve and not have clean clothes, or a clean house and all those other things that moms do. (including lucky charms toast)

  19. Great post Baby E this week - your Mom sounds like such a fun Mom, you are a lucky boy. She is also so very wise, because indeed to make some girl truly happy one day you do need to be the Man about the house and do those jobs :-)

  20. Rusty body oil!! hahahah. SO funny! I loved ALL of your stories. I say sweeping the planters is way better than in indoor chore! :)

  21. You inherited your mom's sense of humor obviously. Can you ask her if I can borrow that flute line? I love the Lucky Charms toast too.

    At least I'm not alone with the rusty oil. Sometimes I need a double dose.

  22. I think you are very sweet to wipe the memory of that Lucky Charms cookie cutter off the face of your brain with your hand and not remember it. Those kinds of things really make a mom's day.

  23. I think you'll be a great husband someday!

  24. I get so upset when my husband is funny while I want to be mad.

    Maybe next time I'll tell him he needs to make me Lucky Charms' toast to make up for it. I bet he would. I'd pretend not to know how he did it too.

  25. Oh, I think I'll be addicted to these posts - too cute! And why does that banter about doing work sound so familiar?

    Didn't know I'd find royalty here in the blogging world...thank your mom for stopping by! :)

  26. Ow, Baby E. My mouth hurt when you told that last story.

    The chore thing is the same at my house. I just walked into my kitchen and told my teenaged girls I would come back when they had cleaned up their mess. I don't like cleaning my kitchen over and over again in the summer.

    I'm glad you wiped the memory of the cookie cutter off your brain. Moms like to make magic for their children.

  27. aw, i am sure someone will want to marry you, you're a great story teller!

    and never stop laughing! it keeps your head in the right place because most things are just too absurd to get angry about.

  28. This guy is so refreshing! I love reading his baby banter!

    The cookie cutter story made me sad, too, but Baby E makes the end happy :)

    I love that he went to the Dentist and is so brave!

    God bless the little pied piper!

    p.s. your lawn looks BEAUTIFUL!

  29. I really, really like the Lucky Charms toast story!

    And listen to your mom - she knows what she is talking about. Nobody wants a lazy husband that doesn't work :)

  30. Work goes on - even when school is out! Actually, there's more work when people are out of school.

  31. That work stuff during the summer sure is a bummer. At least she makes you cool toast to make up for it, right?

    (to the empress: love you. your button's on my blog stalker page. later)

  32. When my girls were younger I would pick a book for them to read each summer. They bitch about it to this day.

    They are 24 and 27. Ha!

  33. Baby E rocks the casbah! I cannot get enough of his stories.

    And it's funny. I thought I was the only one who needed rusty body oil.

    This kid is definitely your lucky charm.

  34. Oh wow love this post! Lucky charm oh how I miss thee! :D

  35. OK, I am officially jealous of your Lucky Charms toast. Your mom is the best!

  36. Baby E, I sure hope someone wants to marry you, 'cause you're super funny. Take care of your mouth.

  37. Your mother is right. No one will marry you if you don't do your chores or keep your room clean. It's true. And someday, you really will want someone to marry you, even tho us girls seem pretty gross to you right now :)

  38. WOW, your Mom rocks!! Sounds to me like she makes things pretty fun for you kiddo! SO sweep the planters, & smile those clean white teeth at her while you're doing it! She obviously adores you!


  39. My daughter has to do chores, too. She says I'm ruining her summer, but I don't think that I really am.

  40. The way his mind and heart work in tandem is a testament to your parenting. He's precocious. When the hormones kick in - DANGER! DANGER!

    When he's done sweeping your planters, he is invited to sweep mine...and I have three friendly dogs who would love to have him visit!

  41. It's true - we all have to do some work, even though it's summer. Your mom is a smart lady!

  42. hey e,

    funny about wiping the thought of your boys say if i tell them secrets they will flick it out of their mind so they cant tell them.

    mom is right about chores. they never stop. mine is cutting the grass and taking out the least until they find more for me to do. they never stop.

    vacation sounds fun. we just got back ourselves from a lake in the mountains. there was this huge frog slide where you would climb up stiars through its mouth and slide down its back. my buys loved it.

    anyway, hope you have a good week and look forward to those pictures.


  43. I always love coming over here! You have me smiling every time! This post is just great...and so true!

    Yeah I'm the only skirt in my house too so any beauty tips I can give/take are a welcome thing in this house! Thanks for visiting me!

  44. Your mom is a very smart woman. She's 100% right about the growing up lazy thing. Pretty hard "marriage material." It's awesome you have chores. You've inspired me to make a list for my son. Unfortunately, he won't let me post pictures of him on my blog. :( Sure would love to share that image.

    What a fabulous post, E. I love the Lucky Charms story. You have such a big heart! :) That rank "high" on the marriage material list.

    Have a great day.

    I can't wait to see the big hole photo!

  45. play on pied piper. play on.

  46. Oh, I love that you can wipe the face of your brain and not remember...I'm totally going to steal that trick!

  47. don't worry baby e! i'm totally lazy and still got married!!

    sorry your mouth hurts. and now i want to play a flutebrush, too.

  48. Thanks for making me smile today Baby E! And even though your Mom makes you do chores it is pretty cool that she makes you Lucky Charms toast. And she is right about the lazy part - although I wish my mother in law had told MY husband the same thing when he was a little boy!

  49. "My mom says we can't grow up to be lazy or no one will marry us. She says that all the time."

    HAAAAAAAAA!! You are the greatest, Baby E. We love you.

  50. I love the Lucky Charms toast. Only a truly loving mom would do that for you...

  51. That is just the cutest post! I love how you took his perspective. So cute! I'm glad I found your blog from Lady Blogger's Society.

  52. I hope my sons end up being as well behaved, inventive and helpful as you. If they do, I will take a picture of them sweeping something when they are eight and send it to you, with a note of thanks, for being such a good example.
    Plus, your mother is right, you will NOT get anyone to marry you if you're lazy.
    I think there's a market here, for kid t shirts that say, "When I grow up I want to be like baby E."
    I would buy one.

  53. You wanna know what I do to my kids? I tell them they're not allowed to smile, laugh,chuckle, giggle, guffaw, slap their knee cuz it's so funny, throw their heads back and hoot, that they can't laugh milk out their nose, the works.

    It works like a charm, a lucky charm that is! ; )

  54. Listen to your mom ... it is will get you a better wife and make you more attractive to the ladies when you are older if you do your chores.

    Can't wait to see this mega hole!

    And how can you write about the Lucky Charm thing if you've forgotten it?????? A little slip-up there, I think!

  55. Toothpaste on his "flute" for that clean fresh sound!




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