Saturday, July 23, 2011

That's The Thing About Rainy Days

Since I can remember, I've always been strongly affected by weather. And by music.

Especially rainy days, especially rueful music.

Put the two together, and ruhroh, Shaggy.

The combination of those two things today knocked me down for a loop while I was driving on errands this morning. Usually my children are with me, so I don't get easily undone should the weather change, or a plaintive song come on the radio - my kids being the lovely distraction that they are.

But today, I was alone in the car.

And on the way home, big fat drops of rain began to hit the windshield. Not all at once, the small ones fell first.

And then James Taylor came on the radio, sensed the shift in the barometric pressure and decided to chime in with some grey clouds of his own: little notes first, and then the big ones.

Then I began to look like this:

What in the world?

I was thinking, just like that, with Sweet Baby James not even into the second minute of baring his soul on friends who have been lost, and I thought of all the bloggers I used to know that have closed their laptops and said good bye.

And I cried. I cried because I know I never told them enough how much I enjoyed their words, and how brilliant I thought they were.

I miss them. Each one of them had a special style, and now they're gone.

Some had a final post, others didn't.

There was Mothering Mayhem, and OkNowWhereWasI, and Craptastic, and CrabbyMommy, and OnlyYou, and Mayor of Crazy Town.  

And there's no way for me to talk to them now and say, "I miss you."

And so, with the luxury of being by myself today, I cried for that. I cried for the hole left in my heart with these women gone from my daily life.

I pulled into my garage after my time with my thoughts today, stopped the car and fluffed up my hair, bit my lips for color, and pinched my cheeks to look cheery. Then, I walked into my house with my back straight and my mouth open in a grin for my children.

I put the blue thoughts behind me and shouted out to my kids that I was home and had a great idea for lunch.

While we ate, the faces of the bloggers I used to know kept kicking their way back to the front of my mind. The only way to put my heart at rest, was with the promise of this post.

The connections we make online are real, our online lives are real.

I miss you, my bloggers that have disappeared.....and I always thought that I'd see you one more time again.

Today, think of the bloggers you know and the blogs you love, and of how much you'd miss them if they were suddenly no longer there. Let them know what they mean to you, and what their words bring to your life.

I wish I would have.

Do you have bloggers you miss? Tell me who they are, leave their name here. 


  1. You hit the nail on the head! Even though most of us will never meet face to face, it is incredible the impact we are making on one another's lives.

    PS- you mean a LOT to me and your blog in particular adds to my life in a way you can't even imagine. Love you.

  2. Mothering Mayhem and Mayor of Crazy Town are both gone??!! Where have I been?!!

    You nailed it with this one...where did they go and why didn't I tell them how much they meant to me?

  3. Were you close to those bloggers? Don't you have their email address, so you can talk to them? There are blogs with some of those names that are still active, but I'm not sure if they are the same ones you are missing.

  4. So sad, isn't it?

    Three of the websites are no longer up, and the other two I've emailed and tweeted and have never heard back.

    I hope everything is OK.

    They were really my never miss blogs.

    And we had become online friends.


  5. Well, Alexandra, you better not shut your laptop anytime soon! Because I NEED you to keep blogging and being the supportive presence that you are. Blogging would just not be the same without your words.

    Love you. xo

  6. Just yesterday, I read a similar post on a blog about how she missed the bloggers who have gone "poof" on her. Not a last post written, no contact whatsoever. I'm still new to blogging to experience disappearing bloggers but I think I'd feel the same way if those I loved reading just went AWOL on me. Thanks for the reminder here. I'll be sure to let those I love, not to go missing on me. Or at least tell me before they go missing.

  7. Now I'm sad. I didn't know those bloggers - before my time, I guess - but I know what it's like for people from your online community to disappear. There's one woman in particular and I've always had this horrible (and hopefully unjustified) worry that something happened to her.

    I love that you love people enough to cry about them.

    Your words bring a perspective to my life that I don't have. You notice different things and you somehow manage to word it differently than anyone else. So I appreciate you. Don't go anywhere. xo

  8. So sad!!! I'm still so new to this great big bloggy world that I didn't even think about how I'd feel if one of my favs left!! Waaaah!!

  9. And such is the way of blogs. More than 20 blogs that used to visit me and vice-versa, used to chat with me and vice-versa, are no longer around. Some never tell you why. Some do.

    When I started blogging I used to go to someone's blog and recognize all the commenters. Now I go to people's blogs and have no idea who the commenters are.

    Technorati estimated there were over 200 million blogs at the start of 2009. That doesn't seem possible but I miss the days when there were only 25 million of us!

  10. I remember back when I was previously in blog land, had my wonderful blog community that I loved, and then because of a lot of things, I had to leave. It was really hard and really frustrating for me. I wasn't able to write to anyone or keep in touch. But now, years later, I have found a few on facebook and we keep up and I'm enjoying the new people that I'm finding as I get back into blog land. You may still find your beloved bloggers again as time goes on and you will always have new ones to keep you company.

  11. You? Have such a tender heart. I adore that about you.

    And yes, as is with everything and everyone in our lives- love big and appreciate loudly.

    Thank you for the reminder.


  12. i can relate...i often look back over the last 3 years...when i started i never would have imagined the connection i feel...

  13. This is so timely for me. It's exactly what I've started doing. When I first came out to play, there were bloggers who, although I didn't know it, were slowly winding down. I've got their email addresses and still have the opportunity to stay in touch. I miss them like sunshine and walking on the beach and looking up at the stars at night.

    Today, I'm sending butterfly wings of hope and love to all the folks I've met from Norway. And checking in with as many as I can track down.

  14. Love this post. There's lots of blogs that would cause me to weep if they ended. XXX

  15. I started blogging only 3 months ago, but you are so right - I do love it already.

    I love it for the people I am meeting, and I know I will miss them if they inexplicably go missing.

    Don't you check out anytime soon. And I hope you'll eventually find all those whom you miss, somehow, somewhere.

  16. Just like in real life, it is so sad when friends disappear...somethat that was once so much a part of your daily habits, now gone. A definite void. And just like Alison are in serious trouble if you ever disappear on us :)

  17. And this is why I love you so much, because you love every blogger as if they were sitting next to you in that car belting out show tunes. You have true friendships (as we all do) and we feel your love time and time again. You are the best, now off to blubber in my car over how sweet you are.

  18. Weather/Musi- Emotional

    I feel ya! I am just the same.

    Speaking of that, do you read Is That A Promise Or a Threat...she's doing a music meme you'd enjoy.

    The blog I mourn?

    Tulpens Bad Words.

    Her fat lady sang, and I am DEVASTATED.
    I love her style, her stories, her family.

    She gave me a spot shout out when my blog was only days old, I owe my first (and some still current) readers to her.

    Tulpen is my blog gold standard and I will miss her terribly.

  19. Totally. In fact I just found the email for one I loved and emailed her the other day just to make sure she was okay! I miss hearin about her life... And many others as well. Stir Fry Awesome and so many more. I hope they come back!

  20. Remember Melissa at Love Me Daily? She was in our tribe way back when? I miss her. She was a piece of work.

  21. Oh, yes,

    Tulpen's Fat Lady Sings was a spear to my heart when I saw that Youtube.

    And Melissa. I LOVED her sweetness.

    And Tracey at Stir Fry Awesomeness.

    And there was Robin at Insights and Belly Laughs.


    Still do.

    And, now, again, it is raining this morning and



  22. I'm new enough to blogging that I nobody has disappeared yet. I do agree you get to know people and enjoy their blogs and it would be hard if they just poofed.

  23. You know what?

    As always, I LOVE having you all to talk to.

    I will try to find these peeps/queens of my heart on FB.

    I've got ten to find.

    Wish me luck.

  24. What a sweet post. You know, this happened to me once. It was a blogger who I spent a lot of time talking to, mentoring, encouraging. She was trying to build her blog. One day she stopped visiting, stopped updating her blog, just vanished into thin air. The blog was something about being 30 -- I can't remember honestly, isn't that sad? It'll come to me later. But jeez, did it really come as a shock.

  25. I died when Tulpen's fat lady sang. Died.

  26. You have such a great and generous heart.

  27. Our online lives are real, as are the friendships we make online.

    Non bloggers don't seem to get that.

    I still have a lump in my throat today with the ones I miss.

    Especiall OknowwherewasI and OnlyYou.

    Also: Mrs. Blogalot and TVNoggin.

    They were both wonderful.

  28. OnlyYou, gone? Say it isn't so!! When I spoke with her last, she said she was just taking a break, but that was months ago. That's so sad. I also miss Mothering Mayhem. It's hard to get to know someone, to share parts of their lives, then lose that, sometimes, daily connection. Having said that, I completely understand why bloggers do decide to close their blogs, especially when real life's issues seem more pressing. Great post, as usual.

  29. I miss Queen of Shake Shake so bad!!!!!!!!!! Fortunately, I found her on FB, but I still miss her blog.

  30. Oh my gosh, how could I forget??

    Queen of ShakeShake.

    Oh, yes...I miss Heather so much.

  31. I miss my friend at Confessions of an Amazon Queen. She was one of my first bloggy buddies. We bonded over our height difference and twisted senses of humor. Also she was a gym teacher and I was one of those girlie girls who got picked last for everything and would never dream of breaking a sweat with exercise. Isn't it amazing how women who might never have been friends in real life can bond online? She hasn't been around since her father passed. I hope she'll come back.

  32. This is such a great post. I love reading so many blogs that I don't know what I would do without them.

    James Taylor always gets me... Good luck finding the ten on FB!!

  33. Yes, there is one blogger in particular that I think about and hope is well. She was so wonderfully supportive, not just about my posts but even about my comments on other posts. She thought my comments were so good that they should be turned into posts. I took her advice and on occasion I make a post out of comments. She stopped visiting one day and I've always been worried because at some point she had mentioned to me that she was delicate of health. I tried reaching her via the email she would comment with and got no response. I miss her and hope she is well, I worry she might not be.

  34. Man, that's CRAP! I hate it when that happens. That happens all the time with blogs I love and TV shows. Just when I'm hooked like a crack addict....BOOM! Its done. You seriously had better not close shop or I will have to come after you. I'll knock you around a little, convince you to change your ways, and then we'll eat cookies. I lurve you and I don't know what I'd do without you. Dead serious.

  35. I remember reading the post from Mothering Mayhem that she was shutting down her blog and then poof it was gone. I was in shock! I enjoyed her so much.

    I find myself going back and checking blogs just to see if maybe the blogger has started back up or has reappeared.

    Thank god it is not raining here or I might start crying.

  36. It is so hard to let go. I believe so strongly in these friendships and connections and I hate to see people leave (although I get it). This really is a sweet, sweet post. Know what else I hate? When I drop the ball. I feel like I don't do my part to keep in touch when things get busy.

  37. I have had some special bloggers that I loved poof and disappear. A couple of them wrote good-bye posts, but most of them were just there one day and gone the next.

    It really is sad.

    And now it is dark outside, and storming, and James Taylor and the Empress are making me cry.

    You better not leave on us. It would be too sad.

  38. There is so much I can say now, but I am choosing not to say any of it.

    I have not experienced this, yet.

    This was a thought provoking post.

    Thanks for setting the example....

  39. I loved Mothering Mayhem. And felt like we really had a connection, comments back and forth and emails here and there.

    And then she closed up shop quickly and that was it. And it felt unfinished.

    And I had a great connection with Aging Mommy (Jane) who wrote long and detailed posts about her little Mirabelle. And then she too quit.

  40. Ok I’m back. Because your post resonated with me.

    Why do bloggers leave without notice?

    I think some bloggers put a piece of themselves out there. Something they want to share with others. And these others, they visit blogging sites and often come and go without comment.

    And the blogger thinks: Do people like me? Do people care about what I write? How come I am not getting more feedback? Maybe I am spending all this time to create something and it really means nothing. No one cares. It didn’t matter.

    Because in blogging, as in life, people want some kind of validation. They want to know that someone cares. That someone values their effort. Their work. Their piece of themselves that they put out there.

    To me visiting someone’s blog, reading something they wrote, something that I liked and then did not comment on, is like visiting someone’s home, drinking their coffee, eating their food, enjoying their hospitality, and then leaving with so much as without a thank you or acknowledgement that they just made my day a little better.

  41. Thanks for the shot of JT, Empress-one of my very favorites. And I do the same thing driving around in my car. There's one Moody Blues song, in particular, that is just always too much-Wildest Dreams. If you left, you would be missed, and not just for your blog posts, but also for your nurturing, encouraging comments. So please don't even think about it.

  42. Wait a minute: Tulpen's coming back, right?? I thought that was temporary. The ground is shifting under my feet right now because I hadn't prepared myself for it being a permanent thing. Uh oh. People have to take care of their lives and family first but that doesn't mean I'm not going to feel bereft. I still miss one of my first blogging buddies, my old twin Rochelle, from Getting There.

  43. Do you know, this has been on my mind so much lately too? There is The Mayor of course, and for me Christine from ratfacedgirl,and Aging Mommy who not only quit she deleted herself! Plus a couple others. Sigh. James Taylor, just the thing.

  44. I was telling my husband about this post and realized I hadn't commented! I am a new blogger and couldn't imagine losing my new friends.

    I just met with a blogger who moved to my area and felt a keen sense of friendship with much fun!

    Thank you for such a great reminder....hugs to all you amazing bloggers!

  45. I am infamous for having meltdowns in the car. I guess as it is the only time I am alone from the triplets+2 carnival and then all my feeling bubble up. Then there is the music, as you said.

    I'm also glad to know I am not the only one that feels the validity and value in the online friendships. Every now and then I think maybe I have just lost my ever loving marble! Great to "meet" and look forward to getting to know you and your story.

  46. This is just one more reason why you are so fabulous.

    As bloggers, we tend to really invest ourselves and our emotions with one another. Luckily, all those that I read are still blogging. If any of them left, especially without saying why, I would be crushed.

    As for you?

    I love and appreciate every morsel you put out here on the web...thank you for sharing. You are truly a talent that goes beyond words.


  47. I don't know if I know anyone who has stopped blogging, well I actually lost a friend Emilie Lemmons to cancer and then there was Chez Miscarriage who was one of the first blogs I read when I was in the midst of infertility. There is one more and I think she still blogs but she went password protected and I was never invited to follow...and I miss her because she had twin girls and I "felt like she understood me" .....

    I think of them but I am always so happy that I have all of my new friends, the new women I've met that are taking me into this new chapter of my life.

    You are one blessing I am grateful for every single day.

  48. I'm just getting into the community, and I couldn't imagine if any of these beautiful bloggers ever went away. Please keep writing!

  49. I remember when MotheringMayhem went - poof - and that was it! As if she never existed!

  50. I'm so glad for my bloggy friends (like you!) and my husband is too. He knows how much it's helped me lately. I hope if any of them do decide to stop blogging, that at least they'll keep in touch through emails or phone or video chat. I don't want to lose those friendships. So don't go away, ok?

  51. I know what you mean. There are bloggers I've followed for some time and even some of my friends who started and then stopped and that saddens me, too. Is that weird? Like, I still SEE them and know their stories intimately, so why is it I get caught up on reading their written word? Strange.

    But what a sweet post this is. James Taylor will do that to you. Oddly enough, he came on the radio yesterday while I was driving in the car with my best friend, and though my initial thought was to change the station (don't be mad... but sometimes it's just too emotional to listen) we both sang along... and everything just FELT right in the universe in that moment. How does he do that?

  52. Gosh, I was teary just reading your description of being in the car, alone, with an emotional song, your thoughts and some cleansing rain. That was BEFORE you got to the lost blogs part. A good James Taylor song'll do that to me every time. And you and the comments have really remembered some "goodies" out there that I miss too!



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