Saturday, July 23, 2011
Since I can remember, I've always been strongly affected by weather. And by music.
Especially rainy days, especially rueful music.
Put the two together, and ruhroh, Shaggy.
The combination of those two things today knocked me down for a loop while I was driving on errands this morning. Usually my children are with me, so I don't get easily undone should the weather change, or a plaintive song come on the radio - my kids being the lovely distraction that they are.
But today, I was alone in the car.
And on the way home, big fat drops of rain began to hit the windshield. Not all at once, the small ones fell first.
And then James Taylor came on the radio, sensed the shift in the barometric pressure and decided to chime in with some grey clouds of his own: little notes first, and then the big ones.
Then I began to look like this:
What in the world?
I was thinking, just like that, with Sweet Baby James not even into the second minute of baring his soul on friends who have been lost, and I thought of all the bloggers I used to know that have closed their laptops and said good bye.
And I cried. I cried because I know I never told them enough how much I enjoyed their words, and how brilliant I thought they were.
I miss them. Each one of them had a special style, and now they're gone.
Some had a final post, others didn't.
There was Mothering Mayhem, and OkNowWhereWasI, and Craptastic, and CrabbyMommy, and OnlyYou, and Mayor of Crazy Town.
And there's no way for me to talk to them now and say, "I miss you."
And so, with the luxury of being by myself today, I cried for that. I cried for the hole left in my heart with these women gone from my daily life.
I pulled into my garage after my time with my thoughts today, stopped the car and fluffed up my hair, bit my lips for color, and pinched my cheeks to look cheery. Then, I walked into my house with my back straight and my mouth open in a grin for my children.
I put the blue thoughts behind me and shouted out to my kids that I was home and had a great idea for lunch.
While we ate, the faces of the bloggers I used to know kept kicking their way back to the front of my mind. The only way to put my heart at rest, was with the promise of this post.
The connections we make online are real, our online lives are real.
I miss you, my bloggers that have disappeared.....and I always thought that I'd see you one more time again.
Today, think of the bloggers you know and the blogs you love, and of how much you'd miss them if they were suddenly no longer there. Let them know what they mean to you, and what their words bring to your life.
I wish I would have.
Do you have bloggers you miss? Tell me who they are, leave their name here.