Around here, we do the BlogHer recap differently. We publish the BlogHer Family Tattle Tale list compiled by my youngest boy, Auggie, while I'm gone Wednesday through Sunday. For five days, he keeps a notebook and I come home to ruled sheets of paper filled top to bottom with all transgressions done unto him by family members in my absence.
The best thing that comes out of BlogHer is coming home to this Tattle Tale List.
Welcome to my joy, as recorded and reported, by Auggie:
WEDNESDAY: There's no tattles. My friend is here. He never saw Diary of a Wimpy Kid so we watched it.
THURSDAY -- Dad wouldn't let me get something at ToysRUs that was four dollars with my own money *put this in all caps*
FRIDAY -- This is not a tattle but Dad made Italian sausage not chicken nuggets. Shocking. But he cooked them frozen. That is not shocking. We made him use the meat thermometer because Xavier (16 year old brother) was scared of pork poisoning and they looked pinkish.
SATURDAY -- Xavier is driving me insane (all caps please). It's really bad. He keeps bugging me about seeing Pacific Rim even though I don't want to. He says "Oh yeah you gotta see this it's so cool." It doesn't look good. There's too many giant robots and not enough giant monsters.
STILL ON SATURDAY -- Also Dad was okay, though he said "Your behavior is quote quote uneventful." Because I was trying not to get in trouble. But not really behaving, just not being naughty.
SATURDAY STILL -- Amazing. Dad got me a book WITH HIS OWN MONEY.
AND STILL -- Xavier keeps bugging me to see the movie, it's infuriatin' (no G, mom just an apostrophe)
ON ALL THE DAYS -- Whenever we meet people and whenever we see people we know Dad always used the same lame joke and when people ask how it's going with mom gone, he says, "Their limbs will all be on." The same joke. It's so annoying and cheesy.
SUNDAY -- Only one more day, mom. Dad is crabby. Just because I asked him if he was ever going to take a shower or just read the paper all day. Also, I don't think he wears underwear under his pajamas. It doesn't look like it.
BAD STUFF: I missed you Thursday the most. I cried. Because everyone left at the same time: Alec (18 year old brother) and my cousin and my friend. And you.
GOOD STUFF: You got me a lot of souvenirs while you were gone, right, mom?
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