Monday, July 15, 2013

I Don't Care, I Love It

Before I became a lady who stays home with her kids and cleans the toilets here far less often than I should, I used to be someone who pretty much did only what I wanted to do.

I spoiled myself that way.

Then, as so many of us who remember the bygone days say, "I had kids."

I was fussy and picky about so many things in my life back then, from too scratchy tags on my clothes to sheets that didn't feel just right. My bath towels had to be big and fluffy. My pants had to be the right length with the ankle break just atop the shoe.

As I said, that was all before kids.

Never was I more for me? no thank you, than in the area of food. Lima beans? No...  because they look like they'd be icky. Pumpkin pie? Same thing... it looks too much like what mincemeat would be if I knew what mincemeat was. And seafood chowder? Won't it taste fishy? Sandy, at the very least.

And then I had three children in seven years, and had no time to make only what I wanted to eat, and no time to go out to restaurants to eat, and no time to selectively shop at high end grocery marts for the ingredients for white asparagus cream sauce. Now it's all warehouse shopping for 100 pound bags of rice and oil barrel sized cans of kidney beans.

From all this eat-what's-there-because-you've-got-time-so-grab-it mentality, a very interesting thing has happened. And it makes me wonder about all that I've missed.

Just a few years ago, I had my first slice of pumpkin pie ever -- all because I made it to the dessert table at someone's house much too late in the evening due to being busy feeding babies and changing diapers and then changing diapers some more, and all that was left on the white table clothed card table, was a skinny broken piece of pumpkin pie. I was hungry. It was food. I took it.

The whipped cream heavens opened, and dessert angels sang their chorus and I joined in with oh em gee and why didn't anyone ever tell me PUMPKIN PIE IS DELICIOUS. I loved it.

It's like I'm having food for the first time.

When baby #3 came along, I was at a relative's house when Cupid's food arrow struck me over a white bowl of lima beans. I was so starved from chasing after three boys that when I finally sat down to eat at 8 p.m., I had to stop myself from grabbing the pale green beans out of the ceramic bowl like a handful of popcorn. I composed myself and served them on a plate and again with the heavens in song; either I was starving or those were the best gd creamiest, butteriest green starchy vegetables I have ever tasted.

Since children, you can say the same thing about me and three bean salad. So sweet and tart at the same time! And lamb chops, with their downright sexy aftertaste. How could I never have known that I like jelly on meat?

Black bean burgers? Did I say they looked mushy? Mushy is my ass.
Portobello mushroom sandwiches? To think that I thought they looked like a sliced up giant slug.
Pea soup? I am sorry I ever helped spread that rumor about them being used in The Exorcist.

So many undiscovered delicacies, so little time. All coming to light from taste buds primed and ready after being in a state of famishment from food deprivation and days with no time to eat built in. Hunger is a powerful motivator and a close-food-minded opener.

Low blood sugar from living a life of no breakfast or lunch along with my gratefulness for having an invite out of my house, make me an especially appreciative party guest. I will ask you for your recipe for anything you set out, and I will thank you as you hand it to me scribbled on paper, saying "It's just cottage cheese on toast points. Maybe a little pepper sprinkled on top." Maybe for you, but for me? It's a mouth carnival.

So if you ever find me at your home for a get together of any kind, and you see me hovering over your kitchen island while stuffing my cheeks like a squirrel in October, please pull me away and break it to me gently when I choke out the words muffled by food, "What is this? It's awesome!"

And you answer, "Weeds. My husband pulled them from the garden earlier. We were in the middle of trying to identify them on google when you stopped over..."

On second thought, never mind, it won't bother me. They'll still taste delicious and I'll be singing  Icona Pop to you, because I know what she's really talking about here.

Something I didn't have to cook or shop for and the time to eat it.

I don't care what it is, I love it.

* * * 


  1. I'm pretty sure there is not enough time in the world for me to sample all the deliciousness that I'm meant to sample. Sigh.

  2. haha...i do like me some food...but lima beans are kryptonite to me...i couldnt...i gag putting just one in my mouth...i can eat anything else...seriously, brains, no problem...lima beans, no...

    1. THEY ARE GOOD, B. I'm not kidding (or else... I was just that HUNGRY)

  3. Well then my dear, you are welcome here any time!

  4. If you think Pumpkin Pie is amazing you should try Pumpkin Crunch! I recently discovered that mushrooms were more than a fungus that you should try to eradicate from your garden...they are quite lovely on a skewer with steak. Amazing how we eventually grow up and so do our taste buds, yes?

    1. Grow up or desperation to be fed? Something, anything!!!

  5. This reminds me of a story... I have always hated Black Eyed Peas (the food, not the band) and my new (at the time) neighbor changed my mind with her amazing BEP soup/stew. It was SO good, I gobbled it RIGHT up. But she also gave it to me on a night when the hubby was out of town, it was already prepared FOR me and the kids could have chicken nuggets and think I was Mom of The Year! ;-)

  6. It is true there is nothing like running around with your kids, getting late to the buffet table and then finding a hidden gem. I do have to agree with the reader who is not a fan of llima beans though, perhaps if I had a fourth kid? Lol!

  7. I have yet to be converted by the lima beans. I wonder how damn hungry I'll have to be to let them touch my tongue. Pumpkin pie, though, I'm the same! I swore I disliked it (though I'd never had it) and then someone brought one for Thanksgiving. She plopped Cool Whip on top and all my previous beliefs of sweet potato being the only pie for me vanished. VANISHED, I TELL YOU!

    1. EXACTLY what happened to me. SO MANY lost years, A. We need to make it up by doing a pie run in Chicago. xo

  8. This makes me chuckle. Funny how we manage to make sure our kids eat, but us? Not so much. When we finally figure out how famished we are we'll eat just about anything...

    Not the healthiest mode of operation.

    Then again, when they make it to adolescence, if we're lucky, we've managed to teach them to cook for us - and we grab a better selection of comestibles on a slightly more sane schedule!

    (Love beets... Weeds? Not so much.) :)

    1. I love beets. I always have. Especially on a salad. But beans? Always so mushy, but starvation is a wonderful flavor enchancer. THanks for visiting!!

  9. You are too funny. And are also welcome over any time! There are often weed-like veggies on my plate but I promise to wash them before serving to you :) XOXO

  10. As much as I love to cook, I still love being cooked for and I am way more appreciative/accpting of food I don[t have to make.

    1. Right? A box of cereal set in front of me by someone else would do me good any time.



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