Thursday, July 3, 2014

How To Take a Good Picture

I used to think that you needed to take a photography class at your local community college before you could learn to take a good picture. Skills? For what? Things have pretty much whittled down to nothing more than selfies anyway. A photo of you, a decent one, is all you really need to know how to do.
Tired of pictures showing me with three chins and a forehead looking like it was lined with ten earthworms, I googled a youtube tutorial. After just 58 seconds of How To Take That Selfie I was ready to hit the ground running.

What I learned was pretty basic, and yet, it had escaped me. I feel confident enough to say that I can now take pictures of my family and my face without filling up my iPad with 1,349 photos -- which is how it's been going.

All you really need to do is to capture who you are. PERSONALITY. Personality is what blinds the camera. When you're no longer young, the camera doesn't let you forget that. So, be you with a capital Y and tell a story with your face. That's the key to watching your photogenicity... ty... ty go straight through the roof.

I know, I know, you've been told by photography sites that you need to get Up Close! But, not in a selfie case. Distance is your friend. And more than ten feet away, is your lover. Well, really, you can do it two ways, now that I remember. Get SOOPER close, where just like an 1/8 inch patch of your face shows, or get far far away, like across the street and a block away. That works great, too.

And finally, go against all photo sites, yet again. No need to “hold it, hold it, steady now...” You want a shaky cam because a shaky cam is a blurred image. And a blurred image works like that $80 dollar bottle of lotion for your face that promises ten years off in 79.4 days. You can call them “caught in the action” shots, a beautiful hurried moment in your busy busy important life. I know them as Thermalift in camera form.

Having doubts about my advice? It's tried and true, see for yourself. I post selfies on FB all day long:

Sorry, I've got no advice about any messes in the background. Except clean it up. Or keep it real. Either way.
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  1. My God, this made me laugh. Thank you.

  2. dang. i am an amazing photographer...
    now i need to find someone willing to buy blurry pictures
    and i can quit my day job...ha

  3. Ha! The 'across the street and a block away' angle is one of my favorites. Along with the 'nothing below the torso' one.

  4. We have all found our little tricks of the trade. Happy 4th, everyone! I'll be looking for pictures of YOU. xo

  5. May try the across the street +1 block technique. Seems pretty fool-proof. However, no selfies will be forthcoming from me as they screw with the false air of mystery that I am trying to create. It's palpable, no?

  6. With your advice in mind, I'll just be posting pictures of me taken by my four year old. I believe they fulfill all requirements, with an additional few like part of a finger across the image and an "artistic" angle… just need to make sure that my nostrils aren't in the foreground!

  7. This is why you are my favorite.

  8. I also think those selfies that are super close (where you can see open pores and nose hair) are superbly awesome. Which means I've mastered the selfie.

  9. I'm run from selfies. Well, I guess I don't really run from myself. That would be hard. I always look ridiculous in selfies and often wonder how other look so cute.

  10. Dear Internet,
    I love Alexandra
    So. Hard.

    That is all.



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