Thursday, October 30, 2014

Seven Halloween Movies for ChickenSh*ts


I'm a chickensh*t. I call myself that so many times in a day that not knowing its origin was driving me nuts. I found it, right there between chicken skin and chicken septicemia. Chickensh*t: cowardly, ineffective, lacking courage.

What'd I tell ya? Chickensh*t. But does that mean that I don't like to be scared? Does that mean I don't enjoy the adrenaline rush of a thrill? Heck no, especially when the opportunity for fright comes with handfuls of M&Ms and tiny gold foil packages of Snickers.

Halloween is here and I will join in the spirit of this holiday, sh*tting in my pants or not. Naturally, the question you are having about me at this point is, Alexandra, how do you get into the ghoulishness of it all if you spend most of your autumn day jumping 5 feet in the air when a falling leaf nonintentionally floats across your face? (hey! I didn't see it coming!)

You can laugh at my spineless existence, I still love you. And I know you know someone like me.
 
For those of delicate constitution, I give you my list of
 
Movies for ChickenSh*ts (because we are a thing)
 
 
 
 
 
 
Please watch these movies in true chickensh*t fashion - broad daylight - you'll get the satisfying Halloween freak out we all seek, but without the need to call Flight for Life for resuscitation.
 
Haaaaaaaaave fuuuuunnnn (mwahahahahahaha)

3 comments:

  1. ha. i have not seen a few of these...i like m night shamalamdingdong...seriously how do you spell his name...anyway, i liked signs...aliens is def an oldie but goody...carrie and firestarter for sure...i do love me some stephen king...see i can spell his name too...

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  2. I've only been a chickenshit for the last ten years or so and it's very unsettling! In the last week I've had to scramble for the remote during commercials for Annabelle (what evil person made this movie?!), Amityville Horror and some show about ghost trackers. And as soon as I saw Carrie on your list, I immediately freaked myself out by conjuring that pic of Sissy Spacek with all the blood pouring down her face! Where's the remote?!

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  3. I'm with you. I'm all about the easy listening variety of horror movies. The list you give above might as well be the Andy Williams of the horror genre and that's ok with me. Don't forget Poltergeist...another scary movie with training wheels.

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