Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Crash Course in Motherhood Fashion

I'd take the socks off but I'm not at Phase 5 yet.
I'm always looking for fashion ideas. I could post every day about the smart outfits I see on my favorite fashion blogs DudeMom and Already Pretty but I'm not a fashion blogger, so. But that doesn't stop me from window shopping and daydreaming on their sites.

I could be like them, if I didn't have the shortage of items required, like tops and bottoms. My closet is full but not with what they have. Over here, it's time for a long overdue Goodwill Drop and Run. The kind where the receiving clerk chases me down with, “Hey! We told you last week! We want vintage not 1992!”
My closet is made up of the 5 Phases in my life:

Phase 1. Survival
Phase 2. Slept in it? Woke up dressed in it? Guess I did.

Phase 3. Errands

Phase 4. Surprise! It's Clean Shirt Week!

Phase 5. I think I'll Care Week

Phase 6. Church Day

I am a busy mom of three, and I need what I have. Since you're here, I'm taking a gamble that you're like me, so I am going to share my tips and tricks to help you on your busy mom personal journey. And I promise you, you don't even have to learn how to use belts to accessorize.

Biggest mom fashion game changer I made was to adopt the uniform. For the first five years of my kids' lives I lived in my black cardigan with husband's T shirt underneath. Smart, chic, and no nonsense. I only replaced it because the elbows got shiny. 

Into the second decade of mothering, I learned to work with my budget of $65.00. Full disclosure: it's actually $70.00 but I need to have money left over for a breve latte. 

-Flats need to be the first thing you buy. Faux animal print flats take you across your day of many purposes: from school drop off where you are the fashion envy of the mom minivan queue to the ten items or less check out lane, your cheetah scheme pointy toed self says, Yeah. Feline. I went there.

-Next, get yourself a flowy purple top. Like the kind Pioneer Woman wears. Flowy is key, because hides the flab, hugs the curves. And BONUS: color of royalty! That's what you'll tell yourself all day now that you know this, what do you think Lordes is singing about? So, have at it and plunk down the cash on your next Kmart run.

-Pair the blouse with stretchy pants, call them yoga pants, whatever, we all know, STRETCHY PANTS.

Can you picture me now? I'm killin' it. Purple top, black stretchies, awesome cheetah flats.

Go ahead. Quit wishing and be me. Start out with $65.00, spend $19.99 on the shoes, $23.00 on the blouse, and $14.99 for the stretchy capris. Come home Sexy, Sophisticated and Snazzy with $3.02 bouncing around in your pocket after your Starbucks stop. 

You're not just a mom in a T shirt anymore. Never again look like you just woke up and put something on. Or slept in it.
Even if you just did. (see Phase 2)
* * *


  1. Yes. Yes. All of this. And purple = royalty! OF COURSE!!

    Printing this out to hang up by my bathroom mirror. Maybe.

    1. We will be the foxes of the library planning committee!

  2. I love your take on motherhood and fashion and I am grateful every single day of my life that I simply do not care. About fashion or shopping or what outfit I've put together for an occasion.

    Slept in it, wore it yesterday, put it on backwards...oh well.

    I know there are times when a small sense of fashion would come in handy but there are more times when it just doesn't matter.

    Those are my happy times.
    I aim at them always.


  3. Ha! I'm loving your style! You didn't even say a thing about yoga pants! ;-p

  4. Yup. Solid. Even cash for Starbucks.

  5. STRETCHY PANTS. I have many pair. Also, it's a happy thing that I am one of your favorite fashion bloggers! We all know where I was living a few short years ago: in a place where a national TV show thought I needed a fashion intervention, STAT. Stacy and Clinton and Ted and Carmindy (okay, less Carmindy, because, sigh, makeup) should be so proud.

  6. I knew I was missing something - a purple flowy top!



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