Saturday, October 17, 2015

An Essay of Intelligence. Please.

Another installment in my long running series, McSweeney's Rejects:

My responses to the request, "Please submit a substantial analytical essay of intelligence and insight."

How do I write that?

Insight to what?

General intelligence or just my intelligence?

Can I pick a genre for it? Do you get too many on the point of view of displaced homemaker?

How do we know when we reach the point of satisfies substantially?

Is there a special instrument I need to measure that? Can I find it on amazon?

What are you going to do with this?

Do you offer courses on essaying substantially analytics of intelligence and insight?

Do you really really really need this, because if yes, then Ok. I'll do it.

Is there such a thing as too intelligent?

How about too insightful?

Is this supposed to be entry level?

Before I start, did you want me to unload the entirety of it all at once or just some, like a peek?

Are there other kinds I can choose from? Like how about unsubstantial essays?

Is there any place I can look online for examples of essays of substantially analytical intelligent insight?

* * *


  1. ***submit a substantial analytical essay of intelligence and insight.***

    I, for one, think this sounds quite BoooooooooORING.

    Except for the "INSIGHT" part.

    And the intelligent part.

    What about the "Heart" part?!

    xx Let me read it when you've figured it out!!!



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