Monday, November 23, 2015

How To Unblock Writer's Block

Creativity slowing down? Find your well dry when it's time to flow into that next chapter? Times like these (let's call them times versus writer's block) you may feel yourself panicking and worrying, maybe even thinking that you're not made to be a writer after all.

No need to freak out, friend, this is just a phase. Merely mental fatigue, albeit a fog as thick as on the streets of London. You can break through, I promise you. I'm living proof  that you will live to write another day. It only feels like you'll be staring at a blank screen permanently, but not so.

It'll only be semi-permanently.

The struggle for words won't last forever. Don't get discouraged, get busy instead. Release the need to lord over your keyboard and set the struggle free. Here is my tried and true plan for getting you back to dashing down sentences in no time three days max.
1.)  Write down whatever comes in your head. If it's dumb that's what your editor is for.

2.)  Go for a walk, begin singing. Singing is the excellent way to do anything.

3.)  Relax. It will stimulate brain-flowing if you relax. So, relax. I like to relax on my sofa with my feet up and my head on a throw pillow. I take this seriously so I close my eyes.
4.)  Get down and get busy with the other things done first so you have a clear mind. Meditation is a cleared to do list, rid your day of unwanted distractions.
5.)  Calisthenics. Like from those 99 cent stapled booklets they sold in supermarkets with the lady in the leotard.
6.)  Deep breaths. Almost to - but keep a titch away from - hyperventilating.
7.)  Watch Twilight Zone because you will always find a good idea in there.

8.)  Have a drink. Of course, always have a drink. It doesn't have to be alcohol. Just a beverage. Drinking is mulling over and holding a pencil or pen as a cigarette will make you consolidate your ideas. Have a coffee/put on slippers and you'll soon sound smart and writer-ready.

9.) Keep trying even if you feel like a dull pearl in every basket, or the piece of rock in a gold pan, the cracked egg in the carton, you get what I'm getting at.

10.)  Take a break.

11.)  Take another break, this time come back to your vision. Wait, have something to eat first. No, go out to eat and have a nice dinner! You'll be ready to write then. Real ready.

12.)  Watch cat videos. Always an important part of the writing process.

13.)  It's important to have your social networking tabs open in case something important comes up.

14.) Chase Scene. Gotta have a chase scene. Write about it.
15.) First things first, google "Why does the devil always show up when I try to search for a picture for "retro+fitness".
16.)  This is actually a good one: Flesh out the underdeveloped.

17.)  Self help videos. Watch those. How else are you going to know how to do something if you don't watch a self help video. The older the better, usually, 1970s kicks butt with videos. Prime time.

18.)  Tell yourself how good this is going to be, mama.

19.)  And now, you are ready, for the ritual of the final read aloud. (It pays to be polite to yourself during this time)

Good luck, good writing, and remember that writing is about the essence of a piece. As in what this post does here -- in other words, just procrastinate the whole time.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... I'm writinggggggg
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  1. HAHAHAH, I love this :) I am having SUCH A hard time this month, Alexandra. SO MUCH HARD! Yesterday? I published a post on dad jokes. DAD JOKES. THEY WEREN'T EVEN GOOD DAD JOKES. ugh.

    I think I need a nap. and a few hundred cat videos :) Thanks for this. XOXO

    1. Oh my gosh, see? This is what I LOVE love love about nablopomo... how we are ALL IN IT. xoxoxo



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