Monday, July 19, 2010

The Adventures Of CrabBoy vs The Fun Neutralizer, Mommius Bossius Maximus



Monday in the summertime, you don't think I'd give Baby E any time off, do you? Life is work, he might as well learn that now.  He'll tell you all about his suffering life, here:

Hi. It's me, Baby E. This is a picture of me and my older brother. We were supposed to be folding laundry, but decided to play Underwear Head instead, which is a really fun game. My mom took a picture of us first, then she took our underwear.

Basically, what I want to say today is this:

I am not in charge of my life at all. I have to do family bike rides when I don't want to. Like, basically, everything I've done is because I HAVE to. You know what I find weird? That I have to do it. My mom says it's good for all us. What I find dumb is that how can something be good if you're an old lady like my mom, and if you're young, like me.

I'm very crabby today:
My mom makes me wear what she says I have to. Today, I had the worst shorts in the world on because they're incredibly uncomfortable. What makes them uncomfortable is that they're very tight. Well, they don't look tight, but they feel tight. I had a T shirt on that she made me wear to summer school that felt so supertight I told her I couldn't breathe. She said it was my size and it didn't look tight. Some clothes don't look tight, but they feel like it.

My all-purpose pajamas-slash-clothes:
Sometimes, I just want to wear my pajamas for clothes. So when my mom or dad sends me upstairs to get dressed, I just leave on my pajamas-slash-clothes and come back downstairs again, and they look at me. I tell them they ARE my clothes. They say, "they sure look like your pajamas." I tell them I know they do, but they're not.

It doesn't work on them.

I love TomandJerry cartoons, but have to tell Tom something:
In TomandJerry, I have to tell you they are my favorite DVD to watch. I always get one for a present. Tom is the cat, and Jerry is the mouse. Tom could eat Jerry anytime he wanted to if he just ate him as soon as he caught him. Seriously, it's like he catches him, and then he goes and gets the salt ready, and pulls the butter out, and gets some bread, and ties a napkin around his neck, then he goes and gets silverware, like a knife and a plate like he's a person, even though he's a cat. And guess what, while Tom is doing all that, guess who gets away? Jerry. It happens every episode.

He should just eat him. When he catches him.

That's all. Today I start Vacation Bible School. And then I have swimming lessons. See what I mean. Do you think she asked me if I wanted to do this stuff in the summer? Nope. See what I mean.

Bye.


NEWS ALERT: I just found out my post on "NOT Mommy of The Year" is up as a finalist for that trophy. Please do me a favor and vote for this one by clicking here, I'd love to have it on the castle's mantle. THANK YOU!

38 comments:

  1. I think the underwear around your head was too tight (even though they don't look tight...I hear that may happen sometimes) and you likely couldn't breath, Or perhaps the the phantom (backend) fumes that you were likely inhaling Baby E were making you feel crabby today. See how your week goes without underwear wrapped around your face. I'll be waiting to hear how it goes.
    Dana

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  2. I'm glad mom got the photo. It's priceless. Sorry you have to go do things ya don't want to, but just so ya know... you should enjoy it. The stuff ya have to do as an adult is much worse. (Sorry I'm an adult.) Oh, and that title is a real grabber. Totally lured me in.

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  3. That photo is awesome. Oh, the blackmail!

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  4. I visualized Tom doing every single thing Baby E mentioned. Tying the napkin.. Baby E, I so know what you mean!

    Enjoy swimming and school. It's going to do you good! ;)

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  5. That will be the perfect picture to give your future wife... way down the road! Glad they were in the clean laundry. Tight clothes must mean you are growing, just don't do it too fast, it'll make your mother nervous.

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  6. LOVE THE PICTURE!!!! OMGAWD,,,,,,,I seriously think I have one like this of my son!!!!( or lil brother...I will go nuts trying to find it now lol)

    He was the biggest T&J fan.....he is now 16:( Cherish it sista!!!

    Thanks for the 4:30am giggle!!

    XX

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  7. Dude, I so get how clothes can look not tight and make it hard to breathe just the same. I have the same problem all the time.

    When you get old, like your mom, your pajamas will be something you can wear all day long and no one will care. Trust me, I know.

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  8. I'm so glad to know that my boy isn't the only one who finds wearing underpants on his head funny.

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  9. You ARE such a slave driver-jeez I hope no one reports you for, you know, taking the kids to swim and VBS and stuff. Bratchild accused me of child abusement and told me it's against the law when I made her help carry in groceries recently.

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  10. hey e,

    fun picture. i have played underwear head as well...they make great masks dont they. smiles.

    as far as not being in charge of your life. get used to it. there are many things we do not because we want to but because we care enough about the others to do it for them. it makes it a little easier when i look at it that way.

    and someday do feel like pajama days and i would love to stay in mine. maybe you can ask them to set aside a particular day you can just stay in your pajamas.

    have fun at VBS and hope you have a great day!

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  11. Dude, that stinks. So, when you're done going to VBS and swimming can you come over here and help me put away the laundry and do the dishes?

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  12. Funny! I like Baby E's perspective :) Sounds like he secretly loves all these things...except maybe the "tight" clothes.

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  13. I think the underwear on the head thing is also multi generational.

    To bolster this theory, I offer you exhibit A, a photograph of my own father this last Christmas with a pair of tie dyed underwear... you guessed it... on his head.
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3AsCIhSsSs4/SzWE44xRkNI/AAAAAAAACmM/jgaoIywuCIU/s1600-h/Christmas+030.JPG
    And he always made me do things I didn't want to do while I was growing up.

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  14. That picture is definitely a keeper. It's a scene I've seen around here, but never had the camera handy.

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  15. Ahh, Baby E, the desire to wear pajamas all day will not go away. Ever. Jammies are comfortable for a reason. But when you grow up you just might be lucky enough to work from home and wear your jammies as much as you want.

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  16. E--You make me want to play Underwear Head. It looks like SO much fun!! Perhaps you should have a day in which you get to pick out what your mom wears and she has to wear it all day. (I'm just saying, this sounds fair....)

    Always love your posts!

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  17. Oh Baby E, you remind me of my own childhood. But now, here's the real shocking news: you will always be in charge of yourself - without wanting it. You will always have to do stuff you don't like.
    And: Tom will never eat Jerry, because then there will never ever be another episode! (But that is good news, kind of, isn't it?).

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  18. Best Picture!

    I'm with you about the PJ's-as-clothes idea. My son tries to pull that stunt too but I overrule him each time. Us Moms are just silly like that.

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  19. Tell your mom that I wear my pajamas all day too. Oh, and I've got an award for you, Baby E. yes, it's YOURS not your mom's. ;)

    PS
    You better treat your mom right or she will be showing your underwear head to more then just the entire internet. ;)

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  20. Dear Baby E: My baby boy is in diapers, so I didn't recognize the big boy underwear on the head, and assumed they were some sort of stealth ninja masks. You shouldn't have told me, really. Even if nobody else was fooled, I'd have spent the rest of creation believing you were a secret ninja.

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  21. That is one awesome photo. I'm so happy you had the camera out to capture it, because it completes the story :)

    Also, I like to walk around in pajamas too sometimes. I guess we never really grow out of certain things :p

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  22. Oh, I love the photo! You'll think it's funny now, but just wait until your 16 and your mom pulls it out to show your friends....

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  23. Maybe it's just, because I only have girls, but I didn't realize those were underwear on your head at first. I thought they were real masks. You can really pull off that look! :)

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  24. Baby E - when you get older, you're going to wish there wasn't a photo of you with underoos on your head. :)

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  25. guess what? all moms make kids do stuff you don't wanna. all the time. we have "mandatory" things around here like BBQ or movie night. that means participation is required. It's only because we love you and want to be around you kids. really. that's the reason.

    sorry you are crabby today. when you have your own kids some day, you will understand all what your mom and dad MAKE you do.

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  26. Underwear Head sounds like a game just for dudes!

    One day you'll get to boss your own kids around and make up for all this!

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  27. Tom and Jerry are my faves. Have you ever wondered, though, why they walk upright, like humans, too? That always bugged me.

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  28. I'm playing Underwear Head right now.

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  29. I hear you on wearing jammies ... I try to get away with it too.

    And one day, you too will get to rule over your kids with an iron fist. But you have to wait for it. Now is your mom's turn.

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  30. I really get this kid. His Tom and Jerry issue is like my childhood Gilligan's Island problem (why not try get-off-island schemes again after Gilligan messes them up?) and not unlike my current campaign against the sadistic Wonder Pets who sing and tell jokes while baby animals are in mortal danger (and sometimes even within their range of vision). And underwear head really needs a theme song. Does it have one? You guys should make a web series out of it. Oh, and thank the Empress for deigning to visit this lowly subject's blog. Don't know how she found it, maybe out trying to meet the common women.

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  31. Oh this is perfect,I'm not even going to wait for my kids to put gitch on their heads for a photo op, I'll put it on there myself! See, you are full of terrific ideas! This is why I'm going to vote for you...well, I'd vote anyway, but the underwear on your kids' heads makes it all the more fun!

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  32. I love the Baby E posts! I need to do something like this for my boys for their baby books. I love that you share your Baby E stories with us, though. It makes me realize it is perfectly normal for little boys to wear underwear on their heads.

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  33. Oh Baby E,

    You lead a tortured existence. Perhaps you could write prison pen-pal letters with my daughter who complains about the same things. Poooooor creature.

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  34. I sure hope the underwear was clean before it was used for a mask.

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  35. Baby E. I have been very busy lately but I kept having the feeling I was missing something. I was telling my daughters to do things like get out of their pajamas but it seemed like I was forgetting someone. Last night I suddenly realized, Oh my Goodness I've been missing Baby E!
    I think he should eat him too!

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  36. You and my little boy have so much in common! He also likes wearing underwear on his head and watching Tom and Jerry. In fact, he's studying Chinese now, so he watches Tom and Jerry in Chinese and English. He talks about Tom and Jerry like they're real people and his dad goes, "Who? Who drank so much coffee that his stomach was sloshing around?" not realizing my son was describing a cartoon cat.

    I totally get how awful it feels to have to do everything because you have to. It's hard being a kid in that way, I remember it so well. In many ways it's hard being an adult too but there is freedom. It will come. Right now your mom just wants the best for you and she is preparing you to be a great grown-up.

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