Monday, May 24, 2010

If The Name Is Lame....

It's Monday, which has become Baby E's Post of the Week Day. He owns this. He speaks, I type, here we go:

Baby E:

Well, my dad was supposed to upload the picture of me in my new pajamas, but he said he ran out of time. But, I asked him a week ago, I think he could do it.

This is a picture of me about to score a goal. I scored 5 goals in my game on Sunday.

This is how I know how to get ready for the other team:

I look at the schedule, and look for the team's name. If the name is lame, like they're called "The Bananas" and they have yellow jerseys or something like that, then I know they'll be easy to beat. Sometimes, if their color jersey doesn't even match their team name, then I know they'll be even lamer. Like, if they're called "The Earthquakes" and their jerseys are neon green, then I know superlame. Because if your team is called "The Earthquakes" then the jerseys for your team should be brown or orange or red like an earthquake.

My team is called "Revolution" [oh yeah!] and we're purple. And,yeah, we're purple and it fits our team name. Like if I saw the schedule with a team called "Revolution" and then I saw they were purple, I know they'd be hard to beat.

If they're called something like "The Sharks" and their jersey's color matches their team name, like navy blue, then they'll be like superhard and cool and then I know I have to be ready to play extra hard and supergood. It'll be an extreme game.

Next week, I'm going to have my dad help me post a movie about me scoring goals and there will be a shot of me doing the impossiblest goal of all: a side shot! The way I did the side shot is I decided to boot it in because the goalie was way in the front, and I snuck behind all the action. And then it was clear, and I got it in. The other team was amazed at how I did that. And all of my teammates started high 5ing me and stuff like that.


Wii called me OBESE! This is what happened: I was doing Wii Fit, and not the Wii. And I checked my weight to see if I was healthy, by standing on the balance board, there's a bar that moves up and down on the screen, and you wait. And then it made this sound that went "wah wah waaaaaaah" like the sound a game makes when you are losing, and then the screen said OBESE in this red box. And the bar on OBESE went to the top, like you couldn't go anymore higher for more obese, that's how OBESE ("Mom, put in airquotes") but that's how OBESE (airquotes) it said I was. Mom, how much do I weigh? ("You weigh 62 lbs, honey").

My mom got mad and said, "you're not obese!" And then she said there's no way that she'd ever get on there because she says her butt is big and the Wii would probably explode.

Also: on Mondays, I get my superpowers at 11:11 each morning. They last only until 11:23. I can do anything super good in that time. So I run outside and kick the ball into the soccer net. Sometimes I count how many times I can run in one spot as fast as I can.

Mom. Hurry up. It's almost 11:11, right? Almost superpowers! I can tell when it's almost 11:11 because I have spidey sense and I just know it. My mom always says, "How do you know it's almost 11:11?" and I say I just do.

Bye. I have to get ready for 11:11.

Oh, wait! I have to say thank you to 2 ladies my mom knows who gave me awards. Oh yeah! My first blogger awards. I called my dad and told him.

The first lady is The Mombshelter. She gave me the Sunshine Award. Thank you.

The second lady is Cheryl@Deckside Thoughts. Thank you.


  1. He's definitely got a point about the team names/colors. Some just leave me scratching my head...

  2. Baby E-- you're awesome! Out there playing soccer--I played soccer too--even recently on a city league. My team name has changed over time and has never been cool. Maybe that is why we hardly ever won.
    And obese? Well, compared to a super model we all are. Probably "obese" means healthy--by those standards. So have another donut and don't worry about it. (=

  3. Baby E, don't you worry about a thing. The Wii told my daughters they were obese, too and my daughters are skinny minnies. There is no way, I'm getting on that thing. What is the next step after obese, gargantuan? Because, that's what it will calling me.

    Great post. And congratulations on your award.

  4. Baby E way to go with checking who you are playing--always know your competitor, but I don't have to tell you that. My boys would never have done that.

    I think the Wii calling you obese is funny--your Mom's reaction even funnier.

    Thanks for posting.

  5. Baby E., congrats on your blogging awards! Geez, I've been doing this longer than you and I have only had one award, though given to me twice, from your mom, of course! (I'm a fellow Sunshine awardee - we're in the same club!)

    Your posts are getting funnier and funnier, you know. I love that about the soccer team names. My son was on a team called the Chipmunks. I bet you would've beat them with your eyes closed (though he *was* only 5 years old).

    Why do you get super powers for just 12 minutes each day? What is that all about?

    Have a wonderful week!

  6. Yo Dude! I agree about the lame name thing. Even my team could beat a team called the Mavericks if their team colors were like pink and yellow. And we're really old. I'm amazed at how you snuck in behind all the action for that goal. *High 5* And like 5 goals in one game? That's like the most impossiblest thing to do. I've tried.

    I just got a Wii Fit and after hearing your story, no way I'm getting on that thing.

    Oh, yeah, and that whole 11:11 superpowers spidey sense thing? I've got that going on too. It's so awesome, Dude. I wonder if we're related or something supergood like that.

    That picture is confusing. Dude, you've got like 3 balls on the ground and one in your arm. No one is even guarding the net. Like, which ball did you score the goal with? Seems like you coulda scored 3, dropped your ball, and kicked that one in too. That's an easy 4 goals Dude.

    Glad you liked your award. Hope it wasn't too girly for you. Oh, and tell your mom if she gets on the Wii Fit, I will too. Sometimes it helps if you do it with a buddy, right?

  7. Is approval on? Just wondering since I wrote this awesomely long comment and it disappeared. Just checking with this one.

  8. Oh no! I was so looking forward to seeing the new pajamas.

  9. wii fit has a nasty case of anorexia, extending to anyone who comes near it.

    i know.

  10. Since I'm a new follower, I didn't realize Baby E actually wrote Monday's posts! Great job! Can't wait to see the jammies! And I think Wii tells everybody they're obese - don't sweat it (no pun intended).

  11. B'E: Dude. I LOVE your soccer team theory. That is similar to how I choose teams for football pools. Like, if it's the Bengals vs. the Dolphins, I think, "could a tiger eat a fish, or would a fish eat a tiger?" And I almost always win. Okay, I win sometimes. But it's hard when it's like a Viking vs. a Bronco or something. Also, my son's soccer team was red...and their name was the (air quotes) "King Pythons" which I'm pretty sure isn't a real animal, but they were undefeated. So, there you have it. Looking forward to next week. PS - I have super powers at 9:01. That's when my kids go to bed.

  12. ..That Wii is very mean...I wouldnt have one in the house...hahahahah....I think we alll love your son....he is so endearing....Mwha..!

  13. Oh I love the idea of the super-power minutes! Just wonderful. I also love the fact that baby E has been given his first awards.

  14. Baby ROCK!
    Not only do you have a name that starts with the BEST LETTER OF THE WHOLE ALPHABET but you also believe in the power of 11 (THE BEST NUMBER IN THE UNIVERSE). You see, my name starts with E and 11 is my lucky number since I was born on 8/11 (I won't tell you what year because that will just make me sound really really old).

    And I am totally going to try your theory about tough teams to beat next year when I have to make my picks for the FINAL FOUR. (I tried it by mascot one year and was completely on target! But the colors! Now that is BRILLIANT!)

    Enjoy the day!
    Erin #11

  15. Uh, you need to tell your dad that your fans are awaiting the big reveal of your new pj's and also thanks for explaining how to tell if a soccer team is good or not. That is very useful information I will need when my son starts playing soccer!

  16. Dear Baby E,
    Point taken. I will get my soccer friends to change the name of our sports class team. ("The Bumpy Juice Boxes") We don't do winning very much.
    Your pal,
    Bob Rosenberg

  17. OK E...what if the team is

    ..E-Blog and has awesome stories wiritten by a cool kid?...that's right your blog wins for sure!

    Congratulations in your award (-;

  18. YAY BABY E on your first awards! I think my boy gets his super powers around 7:30 in the morning on the way to school... maybe that's when his chocolate milk he has for breakfast EVERY DAY since he was 1 kicks in. Too bad they wear off by the time he comes home, because he can get kinda grouchy. But then I feed him Cheez-its (the original flavor is his favorite) and those super powers come right back! Hope you have a terrific week this week and looking forward to hearing your take on Life next week!

    as far as that wii thing---i never get on there. it scares me!

  19. Baby E, you've definitely got it all together. Love how you analyze the name of your opposing soccer teams - that so makes sense. What a great strategy! And the whole superpowers thing? Genius! One day, I'm convinced you'll figure out how to make them last more than 12 minutes every Monday:)

  20. Look at you mister. You're becoming a regular blogging superstar. And I bet your team is VERY hard to beat!

  21. Dear Baby E,

    I think you're pretty smart that you know Revolution should be purple. Plus, it makes me think of this empire your mom has - that should be purple too because it's the color royalty used to wear. So, I like that your uniforms are so appropriate.

    Please tell your dad I'd really like to see your new pajamas. And tell your mom she's awesome for letting you do this.

    Love -

  22. Ok. 2 things:

    A) BabyE- I'm assuming you would think the Virgina Hokies would be lame and easy to beat, right? What about the Purdue Boilermakers? That one has me confused.


    2) You should tell your teacher that the Wii called you that awful name and get her to put the Wii in time out. Or make it miss recess.

  23. BE, my grandson actually play against a team called the Worms and they wore brown uniforms and had nicknames on their backs like, ‘Slimy’, ‘Icky’, ‘Wiggles’, ‘Bate’ and other squiggly names. Actually one of the boys had ‘Squiggles’ on his jersey. And they were undefeated last year.

  24. Baby E, you're too right about the team names. Yeah, neon green just says they're trying too hard. Purple rocks. Purple was one of the rarest colors to find in Bible times, so it's special.AND Purple is a sign of royalty, and how right on is that, bud? Dead on.

    And you are sooo right about the Wii. Wii is rude. They make my little Mii fat, too. The nerve. WHAT-ever! Wii, you stink! *makes the Loser L on her forehead*

    And about your superpowers... when I was little, my special time was 12:34. I always thought that was the coolest time ever. Now I just look like I have superpowers because I have completely messed up hair. Bah.

  25. Thank you so much for saving me a trip to WalMart to buy Wii Fit. I would hate to be called obese by a video game, and you are most certainly not obese. Dudes with superpowers cannot be obese. Good job today.

  26. Baby E, you are brilliant. I totally understand your color/name theory. I would be shaking in my cleats if i saw Revolution on the schedule and afraid to leave the mini van once I saw that Revolution wore purple uniforms.

    Don't feel bad about the Wii, it also considers me obese. I could lose a few pounds, but obese I am not.

    Back to the topic of names . . . I am ashamed to admit that I named my first grade reading group "The Muppets." Pretty lame.

  27. when I was pregnant, I kept gaining weight (imagine!) and the Wii kept telling me I was gaining weight, and then it would ask me WHY i thought I was gaining weight. There was no multiple choice question for "BECAUSE I"M PREGNANT CRAZY!" so, I stopped playing it.
    It was just as well, my little sister secretly recorded me trying to hula hoop when I was 8 mo. pregnant on her cell phone. If that hits you tube...I'll die.

    Hilarious post baby e. My husband's dodgeball team was called the Chupacabras...and then he was the WhipScoprions, but my favorite was when he was a "Hot Pocket" and wore a brown jersey. We made signs that said, "Hot Pockets Throw Rockets".
    Oh yeah.

  28. I did not know that the relationship between jersey color and the team name dictated how hard you had to play against said team.

    Big E, you slay me!

  29. I use the very same theory to pick racehorses. Doesn't work so well for me.

  30. Good job, Baby E. Its amazing how you judge teams. I need to learn that!:)
    And congrats on the awards. Oh yeah, I guess the Wii wasn't thinking right when it said that.


  31. (I LOVE that Baby E does the posts on Mondays. Maybe I should let my son do a guest post someday. I really want my husband to do a guest post, but I don't think that will ever happen.)

    Congrats Baby E on scoring 5 goals! And wow, super powers at 11:11. I'm going to have to figure out when mine kick in. Great post! Can't wait to read next Monday!

  32. I totally agree about the team names. .. the bananas? Come'd have to say "And we will totally peel you and throw you in the compost, baby!" Yeah!

  33. FIVE???? Did you say FIVE GOALS in ONE game!!!!! You rock. High Five dude.

  34. I just found you (my new favorite blog)through alabastercow and now I look forward to Monday! My baby has his own blog from his point of view and I can't wait until he can narrate- genius idea!

    Baby E- I once made my soccer teammates choose the name "The Mountain Goats" we were maroon. at least both words start with 'M'.


    Truly thank you.

    I'll be getting to everyone sometime this weekend.

    I'll be out for special middle boy needs some jaw surgery and we'll be out of commission till Friday, or this weekend, when my husband is home to help.

    THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE WITH ME. I've been too busy with working and home....and I will find time this weekend.

    THANK YOU! Don't know how you all do it!

  36. Baby E, I adore you. Of course you are not obese. But I on the other hand am completely absolutely afraid to get on that thing for fear it will tell me to go on a pineapple diet immediately. Or something. Meanwhile, your soccer team sounds superhard and awesome!! I wish I had superpowers like you do.

  37. Baby E - you should definitely get more than 12 minutes of superpower time.

  38. 5 goals?! Goooooooooooooooooooooal! Gooooooooooooooooooooooal! Sounds like his super powers last longer than he thinks ;)

  39. AWW he is TOO cute! Stopping by from Lady Bloggers. Your sons interview is absolutely adorable!

  40. What a great idea! I think I'll enlist my ten year old to start writing on my blog. Maybe our boys should communicate to each other!

    Love his comments and FYI most men like big butts, which I try to tell my sister and my best friend all the time but they think I'm making fun of big butts, which I'm not, I think big butts are sexy. I often wish I had a big butt...big butt...

  41. Now that is awesome. Stopping by from the Lady Blogger Tea Party. My kids are always wanting to get in on my blogging and I never really new how to involve them. That is totally cool.



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