Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Ways Parents Say It's The Last Week of School

We finish up school over here in Wisconsin this week. It's always the second week in June, but even without a calendar, my kids would still know the academic year is wrapping up. Here's why:

--I start packing them the 'good enough' lunch; a sleeve of saltines and a box of cold cuts.

--Driving them to school in my slippers doesn't upset me as much as it did in October.

--My signature on anything that needs to be returned to school and which once clearly identified me as the mother of said child pretty much has morphed into what it would look like if a chicken forged my name.

--School test papers are signed without me ever having taken my eyes off my computer screen.

--Does it really kill them if they stay up until 10:04 p.m. on a school night? Naaah, they'll be fine.

--So their uniform shirt could be a little bit whiter? Whose couldn't?

--The kid could use a haircut, and with the humidity, he doesn't even need a pillow at night, but summer's almost here. We'll take care of it then. Again, he'll be all right.

--The slapping of the separated soles on his athletic shoes make him sound like he's a seal in the seal parade at SeaWorld, but it would be a shame to buy him new shoes now with summer almost here and sandal weather just around the corner.

-- Has any child ever been truly traumatized by episodes of Twilight Zone at 9:30 p.m.? Kids are so resilient these days.

--If they fall asleep on the sofa after a long day at school, it's actually a good thing for a child. Keeps a  growing spine flexible and accommodating when he spends the night in different places.

--Bonus points if he falls asleep on the sofa in his school uniform from the day before -- he'll be dressed and ready for school when the alarm goes off the next day!

--I know I used to need 30 minutes head start before driving them to school, but strict instructions to wake me with four minutes left until go time works out just fine this last week.

--Ice cream sandwiches for breakfast? Sounds good to me.

And the number one clue that the teachers are soon closing up shop?

Mom forgets to set the alarm for the final and last day of school. Jumping the gun? More like wishful thinking. Sleeping past 6:00 a.m. is going to feel so damn good.

Have a great summer, everyone!

* * *


  1. Yay, summer! Have a good one!

    1. I love love love summer vacation, A. Just love it.

  2. I am totally guilty of the white trash lunches and the hobo sneakers! So true!

  3. hahaha...things start to slip there in the end...
    we have started summer school already so i am into my half days
    three more weeks and then i too will get a real summer...summer school though is lax, and i am having fun with my kids...they think i am crazy...ha

  4. I knew we were kindred spirits. ;)

    I actually had to tack money on her lunch account because the last week or so she was even having BREAKFAST at school. The horrors!

  5. hurray for the last day of school!!! This is hilarous.

    1. It just snowballs and the early mornings and uniform washings and lunch packings and running to soccer and piano and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA just let me sleep in

  6. We still have three more weeks before I limp to the finish line!

  7. My two high-schoolers have finals today, tomorrow and Friday, then we're done.

    I say "we" because of reasons you know well.

    I get them up early, make them breakfast, pack their lunches, drive them to school, encourage them to study, help them with homework.

    (Or not. And when I don't do these things I feel slightly guilty.)

    So. Yeah. We're almost done. And my 'suggestions' that they should study more and perhaps do even BETTER on their last tests have dwindled down to this:

    We're almost done!
    Who wants to watch a movie with me now?

  8. Mine got out 3 weeks ago, mid may, and my oldest graduated high school last month.

    I want ice cream sandwiches for breakfast, can I come live there, empress?

  9. I have Kindergarten Graduates who started Summer Camp on Monday. And while I didn't have to make any lunches the whole year now I have to make lunches every single day. It seems like some strange (and not altogether fun ) twilight zone episode. I hate making lunches (all the asking and decisions was better when I checked boxes , wrote checks and someone else made it . LOL)

    but as always you made me giggle and savor this first "end of school year". I'm looking forward to First Grade already. (and ready made lunches)

    Cupcakes for breakfast? xo

  10. What is it like to sleep past 6? :)

  11. OMG Summer is here. I never want it to end. Until August, probably.



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