Thursday, March 18, 2010

But, We Would've Been So Good Together!

The following memory was triggered by a post from the oh so talented Naomi over at her blog, Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip. Her post, from Jan. 8, 2010, is entitled "Pick Up Lines for Playdates." She asks the question, when do you go from being friendly, to being scarey? I answer that for her, below.

She might as well as have just come out and said,  "not if you were the LAST would I hook up with you."  But she didn't have to, the alarmed look in her eyes did it for her.

Things had been going well between us, I thought so anyway. I hadn't seen her at this park before, and it was a wonderful early Spring day--the kind where everyone is eager to be outside. We each had 3 children-- roughly the same age, they were all getting along fine on the playset, she had brought organic snacks, Hey! me, too! I heard her tell her children how important it was to clean up your area after eating, to keep mother earth green. It was all good.

We had chatted, exchanged adorable toddler anecdotes, laughed at each other's stories about staying home with the little ones. I had pushed her daughter on the swing, she had helped my son down from the slide. We were dressed similarly enough, so our values were evident to each other. As the afternoon wore on, and the children began to tire, we rounded them all up--time to head to home sweet home. We both believed in naps, even at this age! Does it get any better than this? I smiled. Could she be the one?

I thought I had the green light, I tell you that's how I read it, otherwise I never would've ventured and put myself out there as I was about to do. I cleared my throat, "Say, it was so nice meeting you today, and our kids seem to get along so well...would you like to meet up next week, same time? same place?"

Her eyes locked with mine, frozen, in terror. I was so very happy I could not read minds. Because I know I would've picked up the echoey inner voice that would've sounded something like "not if you were the last person on earth would I meet up with you."

She blinked once, maybe three or four more times, then began to stammer out an excuse about already having a full calendar--haha----she threw in a few tight lipped smile, no teeth showing, some more rapid eye blinks...well, you get the picture.

"Ummm...," I, for some reason, decide to take the heat off her. "O..o..o..okay, I totally understand, really. Well, nice to meet you anyway!" I said in the fakest bright voice I could spit out, then I quickly headed to the van."Go, kids, go!", I ordered in a hushed tone. "Why, mommy, is it going to ran bad?" Uh. No...I just am embarrassed all to heck and want to get the heck out of here as fast as I can before she sees my red face. "No..just...go. That's all, go."

I wondered what the heck it was about me. It would be nice to see how others see us sometimes. But, then I kept thinking on the drive home--and I decided to decide that I would mentally deal with it as perhaps the truth? Maybe she did have enough friends and could not stand to take on another one, maybe her clique frowned upon outsiders, maybe her calendar was booked solid. If I found her appealing, I'm sure others had, too.

I go home and look at Hillel's quote that I kept taped to the inside of my kitchen cabinet, "I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing." I had plenty to dance about in my life, and I would keep trying and find others who liked dancing with me, too.

If you haven't yet paid a visit to Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip, I'd like to encourage you. Her post on "Pickup Lines for Playdates" is a gem.


  1. I'm feeling for you, my friend. I got dissed by a group of young blond mommies with adorable blond children one day in the park. It felt like high school and I had to sit in the cafeteria by myself. Never changes, does it?

  2. Thanks, DEM: this happened when we first moved to our small town. I've been blessed to have made all my friends now, at church. But, you do want to ask, "WTH just happened?" Thanks for your visit!...xoxoxo

  3. It happends every day to me at my son's private school. I still can't figure out who they let in to their cliques. Oh well, as I always tell my son, "You can always find at least one person who will play with you and that's all you need." I'll play with you Empress!

  4. Thank you, sweet Anon!!! hearts you, big time.xoxoxoox

  5. Or it could be that the truth about her is so awful and hideous that she cant bear to reveal her true self to you or anyone else..and a planned play-date would blow her cover or unveil the gruesome details of her real life..yes, that is the answer I tell ya.. !!

  6. Robin: ha! you think like me...but I don't dare say it, right (small town..):) have a great weekend!

  7. Awwwww. This post made me so sad. I'm sorry she dissed you like that but you just never know what people are going through really. Could be she had other problems that weren't evident in your first meeting. I have to say, being the friend whore I am, there has been more than one occasion where I've tried to pick up on another mommy who didn't bite. And it made me feel terrible too!!

    Also, you are absolutely the sweetest ever to write this post in response to my Pick Up Lines for Playdates. You know how much I heart you right? You can pick me up at the park ANYTIME!!



  8. Sweet OMwCW: you are awesome. Have a great day, and always, thanks for your visit. xoxoxo Heart you right back.

  9. Awwww, that is never a good feeling. I for one am a bit of a friend collector, yet I am slightly commitment phobic about play-dates. I love to connect with lots of moms and collect emails and numbers all the time. I am a bit of a flake though and tend to jam out of commitments sometimes... NOT because I don't love my mommy friends - I truly love them all. It is just that organization and time management are two of my major malfunctions as a human being. Perhaps she didn't want to flake out on you if she knew she was really busy already. I have done that and never meant any hurt feelings by it.
    Too bad you couldn't have traded emails to maybe hook up for a future date. Oh well, this officially leaves one vacant friend spot on your list and the next one is sure to be MUCH better :)

  10. Thanks for the visit, Momsicle! I'm enjoying reading about your and your new little pumpkin. These are wonderful days for you, indeed. xoxoxo

  11. Ugh. So awkward. Obviously she wasn't worth it, but still...

    I relate.

  12. Empress, you. crack. me. up. I love your comments on my blog! Seriously, I look forward to them so much. Thanks for the kudos, but you can have a girl crush on me anytime, 'cause I have one on you!



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