Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Don't Let A Lack Of Talent Hold You Back


While on twitter with the other night, the subject came up of opportunities, and the ones we let slip by.

Doors that were held open for us, but we were too scared to go through. We felt we just weren't enough.

We give ourselves all sorts of reasons for not rushing in through that door open just a crack. The door that needs just a push from us to open. Maybe we don't think the invitation to enter was extended to us, maybe we think we don't belong on that other side. Maybe we feel the people on the other side of that door deserve to be there, but we don't.

Maybe there's no way that itty-bitty us should be among the company of the mighty and able that go through that door. The ones with the talent.

We talk ourselves out of it. We don't even try to rush in before it slams shut. Our legs may take a step or two forward, propelled by the dreams we have for ourselves -- but then we let our thoughts take over--and our feet stop sharp.

In between the two conversations I was having with the others online at the time, it occurred to me -- how can we tell our children to pursue their dreams -- while we don't, our own?

We tell our children Go for it! You can do it! Believe in Yourself!, but what is our self-talk?

What happens when our children ask us, Mama? What did you wanna be? And did you get to be it?

What do we say then? What are our children watching in us now? Do they see us working hard to get up to that five mile run, because we've always wanted to be a runner, but aren't one -- yet. Do they see us entering our short stories in  the writing competition we just read about -- because we have always wanted to reach others with our words?  Are they witness to us registering for the local Digital Photography 101 class -- because learning how to use a camera is something we have always wanted to do?

Do you see this lady in the picture above in the shimmyshimmy turquoise selling herself short? No. She BELIEVES she is going to take home the prize. She went in through that door marked Contestants.

Because she is living her life like it matters.  She knows in this journey, you get one shot -- so she's chasing it with all she's got. And her children are in the audience, grinning wildly, shouting, "Go, mama, go!"

70 comments:

  1. Lack of talent never stopped me! (LOL!)

    Indeed, sometimes believing in yourself is the only talent one needs.

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  2. this is exactly what I needed today. A reminder about living my life out loud and on purpose. Because I am being watched now...but a bright, blue pair of lovely eyes.

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  3. My daughter always talks about what she wants to be when she grows up and it is so cute to hear all of the things she wants to do with her life. Ask me that question and my answer is "I don't know." I am going to school though and my kids are able to see me getting the college education that I want and will hopefully find a purpose for in the future.

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  4. Well said! And I want you to know that I will gladly cheer you on from the sidelines.

    *whistles*

    You go girl!

    *grin*

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  5. I NEVER let my lack of talent hold me back! Hence...I'm famous. Right?

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  6. Living life like it matters.

    Wow. Clearly that touched something in me because my eyes widened when I read it. I need to write that on every surface imaginable so I can imprint it on my brain. I absolutely need to. "Live life like it matters".

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  7. While we shouldn't confuse lack of talent for genius - we should also never fail to dream and chase it as if we were being hunted by blackwater. Being an artist means you create - it doesn't mean you are any good at it -

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  8. Living your dream ...
    Conjures up so many things.
    Having my husband and my children is more than I imagined, I was such a career girl - who knew this was the direction my life would take.
    But do I sit back and let new opportunities pass me by - yes, I do, all of the time.
    Reminders like these to set goals for me and me alone, these are good reminders.
    (and I would look awful in turquoise btw!)

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  9. Okay, number one on the to-do list is to finish up my resolutions for 2011. Maybe I'll start working on them in 2012!

    I do hope Baby E is doing better. Read your post right before I had to walk out the door yesterday and didn't have time to comment. We said big Bean prayers for him last night.

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  10. Oh, sigh. You just made me all thinky with this one. I should jump...and I am afraid. And yet, one of my biggest goals is making sure my son actually grows up feeling like he can do anything he wants.

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  11. How did you get inside my head!! I so needed these words today!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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  12. Where did you get that picture of me?

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  13. KLZ sure rocks the turquoise....

    I couldn't agree with this more, Empress. I am even more aware of this now that my daughter is older. How can I expect her to chase dreams and pursue passions if I don't do that myself?

    Wise words, and especially to those whose little ones are just starting to watch.

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  14. Love this post. And now I'm off to find a shimmyshimmy turquoise fringed pantsuit.

    Because I believe.

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  15. It's funny, because I still think I'm going to do those things. There's a very real part of me who thinks he's going to be a professional novelist, or playwright, or songwriter, or nacho taste tester, or musician. I often wonder what my kids will think with "daddy's head in the clouds."

    But then there are times that I really think I could be doing "good" in the world, if I went back to school for additional degrees . . . and there's no way I'd do that.

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  16. Go, GDRPEmpress Mama, go! And hear, hear. I waited until I was 40 to start writing, and I regret the years wasted...and the message to my kids that somehow I should have waited. They laugh at me now, but they love it.

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  17. i hear you...i am kicking in the door on my dreams and dragging my kids along...smiles.

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  18. And nobody likes a hypocrite, right?? *slips on turquoise shimmy-shimmy top

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  19. this is one of my favorites of yours. i love the picture and the message. i'm saving it.

    candace

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  20. Ah! You got me today. There is a submission I want to try but don't wish to look foolish. How foolish of me! How could I be more foolish than I already am ; )Maybe I'll bite my lip real hard tomorrow and go for it.

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  21. MOTPG:

    I was snooping around your house, and prepared this post just for you. And all the other dear commenters above.

    It takes a village to raise a blogger.

    xo

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  22. This is all so true! Kids are so intuitive. I have a 4 and 6 year old and am amazed every day by the things I'm asked!

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  23. You wrote this just for me, didn't you me? Me and the hundreds of others? Really, I think the first comment says it all. I should just get off my lazy ass.

    Thank you, A, as always, for the push.

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  24. How do you do that? How did you know that I needed to read this today? I'm working on Believing.

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  25. this post came at the perfect time. you just don't even know. i'm *possibly* starting something and trying to get moving before i talk myself out of it; tell myself that i should get a real job, like, with benefits and time sheets and stuff.

    ps- you're wonderful

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  26. I love it when someone puts into words the slivers of thought and feeling I've been having.
    Thanks, Alexandra - this was perfect.
    Cate

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  27. Yeah! Okay. Er... I think some of the American Idol auditioners should have let a lack of talent hold them back. Maybe. Sorry.

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  28. I just live life to its fullest.
    And I'm teaching my girls to do the same...
    don't let anyone make you feel inferior...
    Because we are all beautiful people...

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  29. Live life to the fullest; loud and proud. Also: invest in more vibrant fringe jumpers. Words to live by.

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  30. Chills, I love this and needed it. Thank you for all of the little and big reminders you give me about what I need to do for myself and my children. You are one amazing lady.

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  31. I try to "go for it"! I really don't want to feel like I missed something because I was so busy thinking I can't.
    Hopefully I can try to set a good example for my children!
    I love posts that make me think!

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  32. Wow! What a good "sucker punch" to my gut. Once again, you got me. I'm the one standing by that door, hesitating, wondering, "Is it my time?", "Should I go in?". I need to grab onto every opportunity that comes my way. Live my life with all I've got - like it matters. It's important for me. Even more so, for my kiddos.

    Thanks for this!

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  33. WHERE do you find your pictures. That hot mess is my kinda hot mess. Truly. I love her. And you.

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  34. Now I just feel plain lazy.

    I just love the thought of that crazy woman's kids in the audience cheering her on with all the love in their little hearts. Everyone deserves that!

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  35. This is so true. I tell my kids that they can do anything. And yet, I say I can't so much.

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  36. This post - not to mention that outfit - is awesome!

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  37. I've spent a lot of time lately feeling like I'm not good enough to go through that door. This just might have been the push I needed!
    -Ally

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  38. When I was a little girl, I dreamed about growing up to write a most excellent blog. Then I woke up and realized I was Pioneer Woman. And then I woke up and realized that my dream was a dream. And then I vowed to never dream again since reality was a crapfest, and I fell asleep to dream again. Stupid, vicious cycle.

    I may not have made it as a bull rider/nurse, but I did wind up being a mom of 3 crazy man cubs who likes to play air guitar on the coffee table. Please, children, do as I say, not as I do.

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  39. A wonderful message I often try to remind myself. Thanks for the reminder.

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  40. Agghhhhh! Guilty. Ive been very lazy with my dreams. I've been passively turning my spirit into worm bait. Time to get my ass in gear. THANKS!

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  41. I am so with you and lately have become determined to step out of my shell. My dreams are real and I will make them my reality. They may not be the same as I imagined when I was young but just so you know, I will be in musical theater again. Even if it's not broadway, my voice will be heard.

    xoxo

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  42. This is also what I needed to hear tonight. I was on Twitter had some time to kill, asked people to send me links to some good blogs and someone directed me hear. I needed this. Thank you!

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  43. I've always encouraged my kids, and, still do, but in recent years... they are always trying to get me to live life and do things and try things. I laughingly tell them... I've fulfilled my dreams, which was to get married and have kids! Them telling me what to do, was NOT part of the dream. LOL!

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  44. Oh, I LOVE the comments here...I don't think I've ever seen so many comments that I just LOVE.

    Thank you, all.

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  45. You've said this, in so many words, to me as well. Do you see how you're influencing so many?

    And that part about the kids watching was a good kick in the pants, my friend.

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  46. We have a rule in our home that we never say "I can't" we always say "I will do it" or "I will try" - I love this post so much.
    xoxo

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  47. I love this post so very much.

    It stings a little bit because it hits so close to home, you know?

    But it's an excellent reminder of all that is important and necessary.

    So "not good enough" will never ever grace my children's thoughts.

    Thank you.

    Truly. XO

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  48. I so want to teach my son to live and not survive!

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  49. Also: We are all our own parents' children. They want for us what we want for our own kids. Depriving ourselves of LIFE because we are too busy sacrificing for our children is a pain to our own parents' hearts.

    Though it's not always a Bad Thing to sacrifice, take it slowly, and not push through those doors. Sometimes the choice to stay behind, be smaller and enjoy the present more fully is a blessing that isn't acknowledged. Rather than reaching for the stars all the time, I like to remember that it can be rewarding to fully appreciate their beauty on my own. I can write and paint and draw for myself and not need validation of the worth of my work from anyone else. It's NICE to be acknowledged, don't get me wrong! But it's even nicer to be truly happy with what I have in front of me, right now.

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  50. This one hit me in the gut. Shit. I do tell my kids they can do anything. But me? I am famous for throwing in the towel after just a token effort. The line, "are your kids watching you?" chilled me to the bone.

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  51. Oh, how I've missed you blog (and your business ;-P ). What a wonderful, encouraging blog post - kinda like the empress who wrote it!

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  52. Important words. We want our children to reach for everything, no matter how remote the possibility, but we allow ourselves to stagnate.

    I'm going to buy a turquoise jumprer right now.

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  53. We so needed this, we all did. Thank you dear one it helps when these words come from you.

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  54. The longest journey I'll ever take is the 12" between my head and my heart.

    I was told this a few years ago. True then; true now. Negative self-talk is a killer of dreams. Good to watch your positivity move your forward.

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  55. Right you are. And an important message for us all every now and then. Thanks, girl.

    My parents repeated more times than I can remember the Shakespearean quote: "To thine own self be true." When we believe in what we are doing, I believe we pay it forward to others. XOXO

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  56. It reminds me of an article I read somewhere where they were interviewing a bunch of 90 year old women and asking them what advice they would give to younger people especially to girls. One of them said "I would tell them to stop being so afraid. There is nothing to be afraid of really." It sounds like a bunch of ra-ra, seize the day crap, but it is true. What is there really to be afraid of?

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  57. First of all, please don't run pictures of me without my permission. I'd had a little too much to drink. And dyed my hair blonde.

    Second, such wise words. I like to think the things I have done will someday be an inspiration to my kids. But I can't let them all be in my past. I have to keep striving.

    Thank you for the reminder.

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  58. I've been taking steps this year to pursue some dreams that I have long held secret. It is a hard road to travel, but very rewarding!! Thanks for this reminder to keep going, keep reaching, keep growing, and not count myself out before I have the chance to soar!

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  59. Just the spoonful of sugar I needed

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  60. I like this post. A lot.

    There are times when there are so many things that I want to do. Some are silly and some aren't. And what it comes down to is that I don't make the time for me to do those things. I always put the kids first.

    Maybe I should start thinking about me again.

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  61. So true! I must remind myself often of the example that I would like to one day set for my children. While naturally shy and reserved in most circles, who I would like for my children to be and remember me as drives me to take more chances, to be less fearful of rejection, and more open to opportunities wherever they may be found. It's truly amazing how our children, and the grown ups that we would like for them to one day become, can inspire us as adults to live to our greatest potential.

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  62. This is great!

    I know I've lived out a lot of my dreams already but it's time to find some new ones and go for it.

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  63. I hope Em and Tony will go for their dreams. I know I didn't follow all of my dreams, sometimes reality steps in-not as talented as Michelangelo -hehehe-but raising a family is one of my important dreams. And they do see me writing...

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  64. So true Miss Empress!

    Even when they're older they can see you rockin' your dreams as an older (ahem) woman.

    I've stretched and failed a few times, but I was out there. Well, sometimes. heh

    Awesome awesome post.

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  65. How'd you get in my head, girl?

    I comfort myself with the fact that the reason my children are so self motivated and willing to try new things is because they don't want to follow in my footsteps. Excellent parenting, no?

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  66. This is an awesome post and so is that picture. We all gotta make it happen, so glad to see so many other women out there doing it. We can all say a big thank you to Twitter and the blogosphere for helping us connect and support each other. And for the spam about viagra, but we digress...

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  67. Man, your comments here are #ALLCAPSAWESOME.
    If I had this blog made into a book, it would be of your comments...not my posts.

    You guys are incredible.

    Thank you! No wonder I can't ever give up blogging.

    Too many cool people out there!

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  68. Remind me never to live near you!! This is why you'll never see me on YouTube; unless the neighbors were secretly filming the morning hockey this winter. Or this morning... I should go check.

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  69. Love this post! And I am with you 100%. Being a mother and seeing myself be my son's most enthusiastic coach, I've also started asking myself why I don't give myself the same confidence and encouragement. But this year I did finally conquer my fear of water and learned to swim precisely because of what you wrote here. I had an essay published at Literary Mama a few months ago about this topic (slightly different slant). It is kind of long so I never shared it...but in case you are interested here it is: http://www.literarymama.com/columns/birthingthemotherwriter/archives/2011/reader_response_to_the_labyrin.html

    I have another post sitting in my draft box on the same issue too, that I never published! Maybe I will now...

    Sorry to have been out of touch, Alexandra!! I've missed you. (We were out of town on spring break plus I am continuing with my writing/reading malaise...) I am going to catch up on your blog today. xo

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