Getting over grudges held on to for far too long is a problem for me. I'm here to admit that. But this one here, the only way I can clear the clench this guy has in my jaw is to set it out on bigger turf than my little mind--where it spins and spins like my eyes when I've stayed up way too late.
There was this guy, about five years ago, who won a small airlines contest for a surprise trip to an undisclosed destination: all expenses paid! He was to meet the contest holder's at the airport, and receive his much awaited vacation information there! So he shows up--and I'm watching this on the news.
I'm not trying to color your judgment of him here--but he comes to an AIRPORT in sweatpants that clearly scream "I done gived up" and a sweatshirt that was made in The Dominican Republic that has some pressed-on sports team letters on it, with a scratchy beard that I only wish was for Movember, oh--and wearing a baseball cap that I could smell from across the TV screen. Not visual enough for you? Add three inches of hairy linty belly button making its TV debut.
The contest promoters hand him his envelope, shaking his hand, BIG smiles on their faces toward the camera. The goof guffaws and accepts the envelope, fist pumping the air bellowing out, "Yeah! Yeah!" He rips open the envelope and with a mouth dropped open, he slams the contents to the ground.
"Muhwakee?? Muhwaukee? What the bleepbleep am I s'posed tah do in Muhwaukee??" And he storms out of the airport with camera crews chasing him.
Yeah, you know how someone's never going to forget something? When they remember every detail. Just like now. I've been waitingwaitingwaiting for the day to call that 300 lb brat out. And I finally got it.
ScaryMommy invited me to post on What makes YOUR TOWN great. And so I did. With you know who in mind.
A letter written just for you, you overgrown gorilla, ALLLLLLLLL the reasons why I LOVE MILWAUKEE, and a few "suggestions" for what you can do while you're here.
Not like you could keep up.
Great Things To Do While In Milwaukee, at ScaryMommy. (Thanks, Jill, this one felt good.)
**Want to include your town in ScaryMommy's Travel Guide series? Click here for details**