Saturday, November 10, 2012

Childhood Food Becomes Our Comfort Food



*For My Grandmother*

I always childishly hoped my grandmother would be with me forever.

My first memories begin with her, and even though it’s been over 25 years since her death, I still can’t believe I’ve had to learn to live without her.

She was born in Spain and came to Colombia, South America when she was four years old. She learned to cook from her Spaniard mother, and these are the recipes I grew up with. When I was about three or four years old, I began helping my grandmother in the kitchen. She would tie one of her flowered aprons around my waist, and I would stand next to her on top of a cracked red leather kitchen stool. She would sing in a soft and low voice as she’d grind the corn meal for our sweet corn cakes, one of my favorites. With a worn rock from our yard, she’d grind the corn meal until it was as fine as white flour. The sand paper sound of the rock crushing the larger bits of meal is one that I can still hear if I close my eyes. When the corn meal was as smooth as silt, together, her hands over mine, we’d slowly add the milk and eggs, mixing all the ingredients together in a large wooden bowl.

With the thick meal ready, we’d roll the dough mixture into little balls, pressing them down into the palms of our hands until they were flat discs. She had a large cast iron pan with just a bottom of oil heating up on the stove. To check if the oil was hot enough for the griddle cakes, she’d wet her fingers from the kitchen faucet and then flick the water into the pan. If we heard a sizzle, then we knew the oil was ready. She’d toss the flattened patties in, and I’d hear the hiss of a pan that was perfectly calibrated.

We'd fry the corn cakes until they were a pale gold, and then my grandmother would lift them out deftly while my job was to lay them between paper towels, pressing down with my small hands to squeeze out the extra grease. While they were still hot, we’d spread the cakes with butter and apricot jam, and the two would melt on top into a sticky sweet syrup. We’d sit grinning and eating those cakes that were almost as large as a salad plate. I’d always take a stack of two or three and my grandmother would say "Your eyes are bigger than your stomach, mija!"

There's so much more time to tell her what I want to tell her, that was always my thinking. My grandmother is gone now, and even though it’s been so very long, I still can’t write about her without tears stinging my eyes and a lump starting to build in my throat. But, somehow, I have this hope--that through the shining dark eyes of a grinning four-year-old girl, gazing up at her adoringly, clothed in one of her aprons while standing on a kitchen stool next to her, that she knew how much she meant to me.

I hope.

Abuelita’s Corn Meal Griddle Cakes

1 c. boiling water
3/4 c. yellow corn meal
1 c. buttermilk or sour milk

2 eggs
1 c. all-purpose flour
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. soda
/4 c. vegetable oil

Pour water over corn meal; stir until thick. Add milk; beat in eggs. Mix flour, baking powder, salt and soda. Add to cornmeal mixture; stir in oil. Bake on hot, lightly greased griddle. Makes about 14 pancakes.

Place on paper towel to absorb oil. While still hot, spread with butter and jam. 

24 comments:

  1. Delicious. Absolutely delicious.
    My early childhood memories also began with my grandmother. It's been 10 years yet I miss her every day.

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    Replies
    1. A-I wish you'd write of your grandmother more ...

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  2. Touching tribute to your grandmother.

    My grandmother was a great cook, but the favorite food memories are her chocolate meringue pie and homemade pound cake. She lived a thousand miles away, but she would have those ready and waiting when we'd get there. She'd have the pound cake in a silver cake holder. I have that cake holder and it brings sweet memories of days long gone.

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  3. smiles....i lost most of my grandparents by the time i was 12.....one vivid memory for me is sunday afternoons at her house (my one left after)the smells, having everyone together....the grittle cakes sound wonderful....

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    Replies
    1. Thinking of you and everythng in your world today, B. Wishing I was just down the road to be there. xo

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  4. I love this story about your grandmother. Grandmothers seem to know exactly how to "speak" to little ones. I guess it's because they've done all the child rearing and can now just take the time and enjoy. You were lucky to have her.

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  5. I have no doubt she knew...no doubt at all!

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    Replies
    1. Promise me, Andrea? I cry about this a lot.

      xo

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  6. What a beautiful tribute to your grandmother. My paternal grandmother was an excellent cook and baker. She taught me to make some of her favorite Austrian pastries. Those are some wonderful memories!

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  7. My parents are moving into my grandma's house as we speak. They offered us their dinning room table and of course we took it.
    I think of her daily when I sit there. I remember playing "bank teller" and "chinese waitress"...oh and batman can't forget batman.
    That loss will never go away.

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    Replies
    1. Right, Kim? Straight from the gut. That void, that emptiness ... oh, we were so lucky to have them.

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  8. I have lovely memories of making biscuits with one grandmother and boiling blue crabs with another. Cooking is often an expression of love.

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  9. I love this memory, and recipe! yum! It is a beautiful tribute to your grandmother that all these years later you still feel so deeply and love so much. I'm sure she knew how you felt about her.

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    Replies
    1. Tracie, I hope so. You never say it enough in real life, you know??

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  10. Nostalgia cooking is the best kind. The memories I have retained of cooking with my grandparents are all of sweet things, of labor intensive things, and of long processes rewarded with a delightful treat at the end.

    I don't feel like I'm giving my children that. I wonder if it's a luxury of grandparenting , but I'm going to work it into our weekend ritual.

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    1. It takes patience and deep breaths to cook with children, but I involve my children in the process b/c I want them to do the same with their children.

      Believe me, it makes everything twice as long BUT they remember forever.

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  11. Mouth is watering now...I love this story. Food and memory, food and family...Proust had the right idea. My kids cook with me, a bit (to the extent that I cook anything other than noodles), and they love "testing the pan" - the flick of water & then listening for the sizzle.
    Er...to make these corn cakes do I have to grind my own corn meal? (Please say no...)

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  12. Replies
    1. She was awesome, Vikki; I was so lucky to have her.

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  13. Awe, I love it. And now I'm hungry. And wish that I had even known my grandparents. I'm so glad that my children will get to know theirs.

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    Replies
    1. Make this recipe with your kids! It's so fun, and look t the lifelong memories it's given me. xo

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  14. Replies
    1. Thank you, Nichole. She is so wonderful. To me, she lives forever.
      xo

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  15. I can attest - this is good stuff!

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